ARROWSPRINGS

Foto Friday~ Does she have a chance?

2012-01-27T06:00:00.003-06:00

Do you think this little girl has any sort of a chance to play with anything "girlie"?

I'm thinking trucks and hot wheels will be in her future in some way!

We are...

2012-01-25T07:02:00.000-06:00

sorting

organizing

tossing

keeping

reminiscing

wondering

anticipating

sharing

seeking

praying

praising

We are...

MOVING

I will be back! If we did not have to wear clothes, eat or play, this move would be LOTS easier this week! I don't think that will work! I have never moved 14 people before!

I will return after we are settled and I will be sure to fill you in on all the happenings!

You have my word!

Blessed

2012-01-23T16:13:00.000-06:00

Our lives have been a little chaotic to say the least!

Moving 14 people has been something I have never experienced before!

There is something to be said about sorting and cleaning out.

Not that I would "welcome" it again but it is good to HAVE to rid ourselves of access!

And BOY do we have it!

My oldest 2 daughters have been there through thick and thin and continue to bless me with thier help!

If they are not home babysitting siblings, they are cleaning or painting.

We always say in our home, "Many hands make light work!"

They have made our load lighter because of their willingness to serve!

I was not part of a big family growing up but I always wanted many children!

When they were young, we went through stages that were REALLY trying. (I am not always a patient person!) Wiping noses, little hands pulling on my shirt CONSTANTLY, buckeling carseat after carseat, etc!

Now, I have older kids that help and it is a blessing to watch them interact with their siblings and SO fun watching them grow up!

My oldest son is tiling our bathroom this week, and my girls are helping in anyway possible!

Not to brag, (okay, maybe I am a little bit!)

But...

I am one BLESSED MAMA!

Out with the old...in with the new!

2012-01-22T10:44:00.001-06:00

This week, is the final week in our home. I have cried much with the thought of saying goodbye to this place. In this house, I have...

brought home 4 babies from the hospital
potty trained 4 boys
redone a bathroom
watched a 3 year old drive down a 15 ft retaining wall in our mini-van
seen 3 of my kids go from kids to teenagers
made to many meals to count in what was a "new" kitchen
seen my oldest became at "adult" (not age only!)
walked the hallways MANY times with sick babies
listened to children play the piano for the first time
danced with my husband the day he lost his job and many other times
spent many hours on my knees in prayer
seen my kids learn and take pride in caring for rabbits
taken TONS of pictures
gone on many walks
lost 30lbs
cried in my bedroom while my kids were in Africa but felt a peace that passes all understanding from my Heavenly Father!
met neighbors that I will miss having around ( not sure we will be missed quite as much! :)
brought cookies and pies to them
read many bible verses to my children
made a house a home

I have mixed feelings right now about leaving our home. I am ready to let go and see what the next chapter in our lives will be. It has been an amazing chapter that we have lived! I have been on a journey that I would not trade for ANYTHING! Not always an easy road but exciting none the less! As the garbage bags and boxes of "old" things go to the curb or local charity, I am reminded that other things are behind me and all "used" up. I will and have gotten rid of much! I am glad in most ways to be "out with the old" and I am welcoming the new! I know God has an amazing plan for us and I will cherish the old but release it to Him and allow Him to do whatever He chooses with the new. I have learned not to cling to comfort but to Him only!

I can't wait to write what the new is in a few months! I know it will be fun! Never a dull life when God is in charge! I am finding out to be true a church sign I read this past week, "He is the originator of surprise endings!" This chapter ended in MANY surprises! And good ones too! I wonder what surprises will be at the end of the next chapter! I hope you continue to join me!

Foto Friday~ A suggestion

2012-01-20T14:20:00.001-06:00

With 8 brothers,
I suggest you don't cover your eyes when playing football!
Especially when you are the one with the ball in front of you!

This describes my week!
I have wanted to cover my eyes MANY times!

After being "tackled" many times,
I finally decided to lay it ALLLLL down at HIS feet!!

He has been SOOOOO good!
I even feel I can begin to peel my hands away from my eyes and take on whatever He has placed before me!

I am so glad He never expected me to carry the "ball"!

Also thankful that I don't NEED to cover my eyes!

He has it all in HIS hands!

In that, I have peace and I have learned to allow Him to be my refuge!

Won't you do the same?

There is NO better place to be!

Where have I...

2012-01-18T20:02:00.001-06:00

...been, you ask?

Well...you would probably not believe all of it if I told you! And I am sure I don't have the room and you don't have the time! But I will clue you in on a few things...

As of yesterday, we had 1 day to pack and move out
Today, our house sold at auction to the bank
We have about 2 weeks to get out! (Better than 24 hours!)
A DEAR lady has volunteered her empty home to our family to live in, free of rent as long as we need it!
That is AMAZING!
We have LOTS of work to do but my kids have GREAT attitudes!
I went through a terrible loss but I am recovering with peace
God has provided in BEAUTIFUL, UNEXPECTED ways!
We all had the stomach flu that strung out over a span of 2 weeks
Yes, it was as bad as it sounds!
We survived! (I still am wanting a shirt to wear that reads, " I survived being a mom of 12 with the flu!")
My husband had an interview
We have not heard back yet
We are still praying for a particular blessing that we feel God has for us
Not sure of the timing, but we know God knows what is best for us
I have never been through as much as I have been through in the past 2 months
God has never felt closer!
His grace is ever-present and my faith has become SO great!
That is only through Him because He has carried us
My husband has been a pillar and I am so totally in love with him even more
All of this is worth it to show God how much I love Him and that I trust Him
He can be trusted and His way IS best even if we don't understand it
I have had moments of kicking and screaming quite often
I finally am "still"
It's better that way
Our lives will be changing even more, but with His hand, we will be more than okay!

Thank you for your continued prayers! I cannot tell you how they have carried me through! What we have been through, has forever changed me. I will be Jesus hands and feet and not depend that others are doing it! I will get my hands "dirty" and dig deep to make sure that I am used by Him to love others in the way that He has shown us HIS love and provision!

I will be continuing the story, but time may be far and few between until we get moved. Hang in there with your hands folded in prayer! I am truly humbled!

Baby pushing baby

2012-01-09T20:52:00.002-06:00

Just so you know I have NOT forgotten about the blog world!

This past week has been VERY forgettable and rough with many issues!

HOWEVER...

I am still living and breathing (amazed really!)

I just had to share this sweet picture of my baby with her first baby and stroller.

It was her Christmas gift from Grandma!

Precious times!

Just a reminder to you that I am here and am writing posts.

Just not able to post them quite yet!

Don't give up on me!

Life is just REALLY throwing us some curve balls right now...

pray

trust

hope...

are the words that come to mind!

Do you hear what I hear?

2012-01-03T22:02:00.003-06:00

Sometimes I am AMAZED at the things I hear during the day! Sentences that stun me, surprise me, mortify me and most of the time make me laugh! I know, all mother's can say that and that comforts me! Because if my kids were the only ones that think and do things as children do, I might crawl in a hole and never come out. (Or at least never let my family leave the confines of our own four walls!) I thought I would share some things my ears heard or some things that happened over the holidays and make you giggle or gross you out! Can't predict how they will effect you!

~ "OKAY guys, QUIT running the remote control car through the cookie dough!"
~ My 16 year old informed me one morning that she woke up to a bare hieny staring at her and her 3 year old brother saying, "Wipe me PEEEASSSEEE!" (She could not push the snooze button after that alarm!)
~ My 8 year old says to his uncle, "Well, I guess I liked the paintable birdhouse, but I REALLY wanted lego's for Christmas!" (I TRY to teach my children to be thankful! UGH!)
~ "Mom, the Christmas tree fell towards the wall and is crooked now!"
~ After my 8 year old had been complaining of a sudden headache, 2 hours later, my 10 year old informed us that while they were playing football outside, that possibly after his brother hit his head on the side walk, he MAY have fallen over after he got up and laid on the ground for a while. But the 10 year old was sure his brother was faking it! Needless to say, the 8 year old had a major concussion!
~ "Oh no mom! The tennis racked went through the french door window!"
~ I walked into our kitchen one night after all the kids went to bed and literally about broke my neck from slipping on my kitchen floor COVERED in the tiny cookie sprinkles. I am STILL finding them a week later!
~ "I think I ate so much at Grandma's, I might have to stay in bed in the morning!"
~ About 2 hours after opening Christmas presents, 9 year old says, "I'm bored!"
~ "But mommy, I can't seep tonight! I have WAAAYYYY to many pesants to open tomorrow!"
~ I'm not an angry person, but one more twisty tie to undo, and I may have to throw something!
~ "Why do we have to change the year mom, I like the old one!"
~ "Mommy, why do people believe in Santa? He is just not real! Well, he may be nice, but he lies to everyone!"
~ If I have to watch one more football game, I may have to throw something else! (In a house FULL of boys, that is something I guess I better just start enjoying!)
~ On New Year's Day, My husband said, "Honey, I am taking the kids to the park!" (They did not even need coats!)
~ "How many days until Christmas?" (That was yesterday!)
~The neighbors witnessed me tossing the Christmas tree off the porch at 4pm on Christmas Day! (I love Christmas but when it's over, I like it to be over!)

There were MANY more, but these were some of the classics! Share some of your favorite things you heard come from your children's mouths! I would love to laugh at somebody else's children! You know, for the feeling of motherhood kinship! :)

More to come...

2012-01-03T10:53:00.000-06:00

This is a glimpse of what we did over the holidays

More to come!

Trying to get "all my ducks in a row"

I actually have to get my kids back on track

Okay, really I am the one struggling

We had such a great couple of weeks and our future is changing.

It is a battle for me to get back to doing things the way we were

So...

I have changed a few things

I will be back to share some of the things we have done.

Please stay tuned!

A week of...

2011-12-19T09:09:00.001-06:00

Most of the month of our busy December is behind me! Our church Christmas drama was presented last night and 5 of us were in it. It went really well! Although it will be a busy week, I am really ready to enjoy this week as we prepare for Christmas Day. This is always my favorite week of the year!

This is a week of...

baking

wrapping

final shopping

letter mailing

picture taking

taping and re-taping presents that 2 yr olds tried to open

keeping the tree alive and looking good for 6 more days

delivering goodies to neighbors

preparing our home for company

watching Christmas specials

hearing the countdown at least 20 times a day

remembering being a kid

wishing for snow

no school

getting rid of old toys

packing

AND most of all...

Remembering and reminding that the manger is the reason we have the cross!

I hope and pray your week is filled with enjoyable things this time of year brings!

Thank you for following me this past year on our journey!

I will be back in 2012 to share more and hope you will join me!

I have a feeling it's going to be a WILD ride!

I can't wait to see what God is going to do with us!

Hope you will be there with us!

Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!

Foto Friday~Generations of love

2011-12-16T06:48:00.000-06:00

We have generations of love in our family!

So fun to see my mom loving on my kids!

Thank you mom, for teaching me how to love so that my kids have learned how to love!

I love you!

Blessings abound

2011-12-14T06:00:00.019-06:00

Blessings are abundant in our family right now! One after the other, day after day, for some reason God has been pouring out His favor on us! Believe it or not, it is not always an easy road! It takes lots of humbleness at times, to be put in front of others as needy. It was never intentional to let everyone know of our "troubles". It just became apparent to others, after conversations and prayer. The loving hearts of other's, have been pouring out their love on us!

So...here we are with God and TOTALLY exposed of all of our issues, God has used people to bless us and that has moved our hearts. We have NEVER asked for anything! God has amazingly placed us on other's hearts and because of their obedience, we have seen God move in ways that we could never have imagined! We don't have any final details of our life and where it will be going for now, however, on the other hand, we do know that our lives are going in HIS direction! No place to live as of yet, but we know God does see it. Most of the time in life, we don't see which way things are going to go and we can try to do things our way. Believe me, we have I have tried to figure out some plans along the way! I am thankful for slammed door moments! :) I am asking for the 'wide open' door moments now, but I know that those will come when He is ready to show them to us!

If you are going down a road of unanswered questions or a waiting time, know that I am there with you! It is NOT an easy road! We are in a society of "FAST" everything! Food, internet, money, material things, and so on and so on! Be thankful God is NOT in a hurry! It takes time for artists to master their masterpieces! And we are HIS masterpiece! Hang in there! Don't give up! I am not and I will not give up! Please don't either! Wait on Him! As I have heard and seen, God IS for us! I will be telling of all the things He has done and other's will believe because of what He has done! For that, I am sure of!

As Christmas draws closer in the next few days, remember that Christ was born to set us free! That is why the celebration of His birth is so important! We are to look at the manger and then at the cross! (Both were made of wood!) He came to this earth as a humble baby and died the most humble death imaginable! Be reminded that with all the things that are going to be happening in the coming days, that Jesus came to earth for you! Are you ready for Christmas? You don't have to have all your presents bought and everything ready, but make sure that you do know in your heart day in and day out, that you have made your heart, Christ's home!

Courageous Faith

2011-12-11T21:07:00.000-06:00

Last week, my daughter and I spoke and the title to our talk was "Courageous Faith". I would like to share a little bit what our talk was about.

As we prepared for the night, it kept coming back to me how it is ALWAYS courageous to have faith! It is not easy to be "courageous" but essential if you are going to believe in something that you have no apparent proof of right from the get go!

Such was our Journey to Africa! My daughter and I had similar experiences with "Courageous Faith" just different circumstances surrounded us. The definition of courageous is: quality of being brave: the ability to face danger, difficulty, uncertainty, or pain without being overcome by fear or being deflected from a chosen course of action (Bing dictionary).

The definition of faith is: belief or trust: belief in, devotion to, or trust in somebody or something, especially without logical proof (Bing Dictionary).

No doubt, we were in need of both of those! For me, sending my daughter a world away at the age of 16, and for her, going a world away! Before that, really never being apart from her family her entire life! We have both discussed that we are glad we did not know what we were really in for!

We have realized that God gives the amount of faith you need little by little to get where He wants us to be! TOTAL faith in Him!

The day she left, we were both like scared, cowardly baby birds that really had not tried to fly out of the nest yet! She was thrown into a world of Independence and chaos and I was thrown into a world of loneliness, fear, and desperation for HER! Somehow the same and yet so totally different! We still required the same thing, 'Courageous Faith' in the only one who could supply our needs. I could not look to ANYONE but God to keep her and sustain her, and she did not have me to protect her and direct her! We BOTH had to call on the same Heavenly Father we know so well!

Her time with Malaria was a time of faith growth for both of us. The phone call that I received informing me of her illness, left me feeling more helpless than I had EVER felt in my life! Even in childbirth, you have people around to help you even though you are the only one who can actually "birth" the baby! All I wanted to do was stroke her hair, find a way to bring her fever down, lay my hands on her and pray. Not possible! She wanted to lay her head on my lap, ask me for a drink of water and for me to place another blanket on her shivering body. Not possible! So where do you go?! The only place we had! Once again, our Heavenly Father! I cried out for HOURS for her healing! For God to comfort her and somehow be for her what she wanted me to be for her. To take away her fear and calm her anxious heart. She, as best as she could, asked God to bring peace to her heart and be all that she needed. She needed Him to be her strength while she was weak. The next morning, she woke up out of her sick bed, and walked to villages and was for the most part, all better. She lacked a little strength physically but within a day, that was fully back also! God was MORE than I could have been for her and He was more than I could be for me!

My fears slowly began to fade as I continued to walk this 'Courageous Faith' journey. Each week, I worried less until all the sudden, I worried no more! My daughter stepped out everyday not knowing if she would make it through the day! The physical challenges alone, was somewhere she had never been before! The safety issues, well...neither of us like to go there! However, surrounded by strangers who could not understand her day in and day out, something inside of her rose up! She became able to trust that although nobody around her could promise her total safety, her earthly father was no where to be found, but her Heavenly Father was EVERYWHERE! We both continued to see that our only possible way to not only SURVIVE but THRIVE was found in the trust that our loving God would supply our EVERY need!

As we look back, it was almost 3 months ago that we met at the airport again after the 6 week journey. The unity we talk about in "Courageous Faith" is simply amazing! The testimony of God's faithfulness on both of our parts, puts us in awe! We both began to understand what it truly means to have Jesus as our one and only! He put us BOTH in a place where He was all we had! Now, we both find ourselves in sadness sometimes, because we see that "comforts" of this culture can make us less dependant on Him. We are looking to Him to take us to a deeper place and to realize that He IS all we need ALL the time! As we lose our home in 5 short weeks, and really no plan as of yet, where we will lay our heads, we are reminded once again, that He is all we have! I am so glad that He chose to bring us through our Journey to Africa so we could little by little, day by day, and week by week, see His faithfulness! Now, although our lives our going to drastically change, He has supplied us with that "Courageous Faith" that we will need to carry on!

Thriving NOT striving! Only one way that is possible! "Courageous Faith" in our all knowing God!

Photo Friday~Enough said!

2011-12-09T06:38:00.001-06:00

Hands on!

2011-12-08T12:56:00.003-06:00

After having only one boy, I realized that he was going to need "hands on" activies!

And with the weather changing and not lots of time outdoors,

I quickly remembered what my oldest used to LOVE to do!

One of the favorite things for him to do was
to take apart broken electronics.
We have passed down the torch, so to speak!
We had an old vcr that broke so I cut off the electric cord and they went to town!

For literally HOURS...

they detached every part possible!

Not a wire or squiggly thingy bob was left!

(I am a female and that is my terminology!)

They used screwdrivers and pliers and their own fingers

Until it was no longer recognizable.

They took turns and figured out which tools they would need to desassemble it all!

Then their older brother came home and showed them how to build a little engine out of the tiny motors.

It was an unforgetable experience for all of us!

My 6 year old even carried his in his pocket to church!

I love boys!

I highly recommend it for any busy boys!

They will love it!

You can say a prayer!

2011-12-05T06:00:00.002-06:00

Tonight my amazing, incredible, spiritual daughter and I will be speaking at a women's gathering. It will be about 'Courageous Faith'. We will be sharing about her trip to Africa and my expericence as a mother while she was there. I am so looking forward to sharing how incredibly God's grace and mercy reaches down to the most fearful, anxious mom! :) Our deepest desire is to show other women and teens how God is so faithful when we just depend solely on Him. If He can reach this mama who used to walk CONSTANTLY in fear, and set me free, the He can do it for anyone!

We would appreciate your prayers today as we travel and share God's glory tonight!

Thank you! Update will follow!

Week in review...

2011-12-02T06:00:00.004-06:00

This week seemed to last forever!

Full of appointments (expected and unexpected)

Broken teeth (they WILL now wear mouth guards when playing football with their brothers)

cut open lip (at a doctor's appointment when that happened!)

chicken pox
broken car belt
dishwasher motor...fried

music lessons

music rehearsals for Christmas

eating some "humble pie"

headaches

preparation for speaking at a women's gathering

talking with teenagers about life decisions

scheduling my December that is WAY to full

packing

meal preparations

errands

trying to decide if I am going to put up Christmas decorations this year

listening to the moans and groans when I told the kids of that idea

guess I will be doing that this weekend

cluttered mind

knowing I need to give my cares to the One who cares for me

Trying to figure out why that is so hard sometimes

realizing it's because I have let "life" get in the way of my time with Him

Can't go there!

Been there before!

NOT pretty!

So...

Maybe next week won't feel so long!

Oh yes, there will be "life"

but if I stay focused on Him,

not my daily surroundings...

(that seriously make my head spin at times!)

THEN...

even if my week IS long,

I won't even notice!

I will be doing it all for Him!

I kinda' forgot that part this week!

Have you ever done that?

Trust, Comfort and Thanksgiving

2011-11-30T08:07:00.003-06:00

When all that you know and are comfortable with, is about to change,

you REALLY begin to start looking at what IS TRULY important!

This Thanksgving was probably one of the most spiritual for me!

We started out going through the story of Thanksgiving with our kids and how God was the center of it! Much reason to celebrate! ( If only that were the way this country was now!)

We talked about how hard it must have been for those pilgrims!

They too, left all that they knew in search of something greater and trusted God for their needs! They went through many trials and suffered much but they continued on! God blessed them and brought them through!

We decided that in the coming weeks, that is what we must do!

Perservere!

Wait and watch and see what God will do! He knows where we are going to live!

In that waiting, we will trust, do the things that God has us do and not get weary.

And...

if we do get weary in the waiting, we know that God will strengthen us!

The outcome for the pilgrims was incredible because they knew who they had on their side!

The ever-present, unfailing, God!

I too, was reminded this Thanksgiving that all that I have is His and I can leave it in His hands because He is the same yesterday, today and forever!

I don't know what the future holds, none of us do!

But my children look to us to show them and they trust us without any doubt!

They run and play without a care in the world knowing that we will feed them, clothe them, and tell them of Jesus love!

That is what we must do!

I have been reminded this past week with all that around me seems to be caving in, that my God CAN be trusted and as a child, I am to leave it my Father's hands! He will provide!

Oh I am so Thankful!

Journey to Africa ~ Part 3

2011-11-29T08:00:00.004-06:00

I felt so small! So dependant on this God that I thought I knew so well. That's the thing about African village life! It will shatter every ignorant assumption your have ever made. Sooner or later, you will be forced to think. I realized how little I actually knew. How inadequate I was in comparison to how proud I was previously. I was learning that brokenness and humility are not optional. If my desire is to know God and to be used for His glory, the only way that will happen is if I crucify my self and choose the path of brokenness and humility. Village life was simple. Wake up to a beautiful sunrise, go bathe (with a small bucket of unclear water in an enclosed grass square area for privacy) and eat breakfast. Hike for an hour, two, or three, maybe up a mountain.

They have a morning service consisting of praise and worship that could stir up the most stale and stagnant heart. Spirit-led preaching...

Then, my favorite time! The time that I SO looked forward to! I would spend every spare second with the kids and babies!

Maybe it was their innocent wonder and curiosity about this crazy foreign white girl who was always either smiling, crying or both!

Maybe it was because spoken language was not necessary! They are thrilled and satisfied with the universal language of a loving smile, a gentle hand grasping theirs, a tickle resulting in an outburst of giggles.

There was nothing in the whole wide world that I would have traded even for ONE second of this pure bliss!

I found my soul's delight as I sat holding a little child, effortlessly looking past the filth and stink. In God's abundant goodness, He allowed me to see what He saw as I looked into each child's eyes. A priceless, cherished, beloved, sacred, God-ordained blessing that was longing to be delighted in. Whether for a few moments or a few hours.

I would pray the mighty blood of Jesus over each child's life. Then I would do what I enjoyed oh SO much! I would show them love in action.

I realized that to tell a Malawian that God loves, often means nothing. Why? They have no grasp of the concept. Biblical, Jesus-like love is non-existent to them. So first I loved them with my expressions, eyes full of love, reassuring hugs and touches. Hours of joyful, carefree play, long walks abounding with skipping, jumping, running, and LOTS of giggles! Their are no language barriers with giggles! All of this and so much more to demonstrate love. Through this, they learn love and that my love was real! So in turn, I could now point them to their perfect Creator, Lover, and Redeemer!

As my story closes, realize I have so much more! I could share for months of all of my experiences! I will share more after I have sifted through more of my thoughts. The point I want to make with you is all of this works in America too! Live your life spending each moment loving others with Christ-like love and in doing so , they will be directed to the supply of our love. Indeed, they shall know we are Christian's by our love!

Oh and may we all learn to NEVER resent the times when God gives us more than we can handle! May we see that He is giving us another opportunity to give our burdens to Him. May we see His glory revealed through our insufficiency!

Journey to Africa ~ Part 2

2011-11-27T14:03:00.003-06:00

Trying to get the rest of the story out of a 16 year old BUSY girl, is not an easy task, but she has blessed us with the second part of her Journey to Africa! Hope you are blessed!

People say that God will never give us more than we can handle. I don't believe that! I believe that God absolutely, completely, and purposely gives us more than we can handle. Why? So that we can see HIM provide and so we can see how good HE is at doing the impossible. How ready He is to come through for His weak, broken, helpless, inadequate children. God gives us more than we can handle to encourage us to surrender it to Him. This sums up my journeys and lessons learned in Malawi, Africa.

6 weeks in Africa was absolutely NOTHING like what I anticipated. I thought I was prepared. Now I realize there is not really much preparation that can be done for something so drastic of a culture shock like I witnessed. We had a few days in Blantyre before leaving on our first trip to the village. Those few days were euphoric. I felt so excited! I knew that I belonged there and that God had so much in store. Yet also there were strong feelings of caution and hesitation. There is no way to describe what it was like to see Malawi for the first time.

I expected poverty, but nothing like I saw with my own eyes for the first time. Orphaned toddlers digging through trash. Hundreds of people walking every which way, people with absolutely no hope, ambition or vision except to find enough food and water to survive another day.

Animals everywhere! Goats, cows, chickens, dogs with bones protruding so much you could count their ribs.

I remember staring in wonder as I thought to myself, "This IS just like all the movies, the scenes in Africa!" No real feeling of safety! You can't call 911 if you need help! There is no 911! I felt so helpless!

My first reaction was probably deep grief and compassion. The next was utter despair! How in the world does anyone even make a dent in all this suffering and poverty?

Now I know that nobody can. Only Jesus! Only the gospel! Only the souls who are willing to be the hands, feet, tears, and touch of Jesus!

We spent a LONG day of traveling to the first village. The mountain views were spectacular!

We arrived in our first village, Chididi after dark.

Getting there and stepping out of or Land Rover was surreal. The whole village crowded around us to see the 'azungus' (white people). I remember seeing dozens upon dozens of bright eyes looking at me through the dark. The children were captivated. Most having never seen a white skinned person in their lifetime! Later that night I remember gazing up at the immense African sky. I was in complete awe of the huge, bright, twinkling stars and constellations. The sky was like nothing I had ever seen before! Nothing to interfere with God's creation! With tears streaming down my cheeks from the overwhelming beauty! I felt so small...

Part 3 next to come!

Please also check this out! One of my FAVORITE blogs has a giveaway! Click HERE to see what I mean! In our homeschooling experience we have read many great Christian Books!

2011-11-23T16:28:00.001-06:00

A Thanksgiving Prayer

Our Father, giver of life and joy, who is like you, Oh Lord, that we should come to you with our praise? You need not these words, for you formed our lips. What is man that you are mindful of him? You own the lives of all that inhabit the earth. Your power, might, and love are seen in the bounty of this season. We gather this day around a table laden with food that you have brought forth. We gather as family and friends whom you brought into this world. We bow before you with humble hearts knowing we live because you brought us to life.
We celebrate this day as a nation of people who have been blessed more than any other people on the face of the earth and at any time. We acknowledge you as the giver of the good we so easily take for granted. Forgive us as we are a forgetful people. Grant us on this Thanksgiving Day, the time to reflect on all the ways you have blessed each of us who has gathered. Increase our understanding of your ways, defeat us when we use our blessings for selfish gain, and remind us to love one another.
Thank you for providing all that we need for life and godliness. Make us to be a light and a blessing to the nations of the world. We acknowledge you as the only true and living God.
We pray this in the name of your Son and our Savior, Jesus Christ.
Amen.

written by Dawn M. Jones

Foto Friday~ Fishin' for raisins

2011-11-18T15:05:00.000-06:00

My 2 year old decided to finish up his brother's cereal
(See the milk trail?)
Needless to say,
the raisins were gone but it took a while for him to master it with his spoon!
I love the perserverance a two-year old has!
Well...
sometimes anyway!

Have a beautiful weekend!

Morning wake up crew...

2011-11-17T06:00:00.002-06:00

This is what life is like when your #12 and the last one to wake up in the morning...

Morning smiles for everyone!

For a few more years anyway! :)

I'm gonna miss this someday!

Hang in there! My daughter's Part II of her Journey to Africa coming soon!

Journey to Africa ~ Part 1

2011-11-15T08:26:00.000-06:00

My dear, sweet daughter is my guest on my blog today. I have been asked over and over for her to write about her experience so here it is!

As I look back on these past few months, I am still a little numb. You see, when you experience God like we did in Africa, life returning to America can never be the same!

It only took a few seconds of holding a filthy, malnourished, orphan child on my lap and a glimpse into their eyes, to see I was helplessly IN LOVE! I have now realized that a piece of my heart will belong with them forever. Regardless of the thousands of miles of distance that separates us now.

I will back up a bit for you. I am the second oldest of 12 children. I consider my self average in almost every way. I STRONGLY emphasize my many weaknesses and struggles as an American teen whose daily battle is to be in the world but not of it. God called me at 5 years old to be a missionary and I did not know how I would get to that point, I just knew what He whispered in my heart. My trip to Africa only made me more broken and allowed for me to see how things that we think matter in daily life, just don't anymore.

My African journey began about a year ago. I was presented with the opportunity to spend 6 weeks in Malawi, Africa as a part of an intense and challenging discipleship training time at Kalibu Bible School. The first of many "miracles" for this journey was getting permission from my parents. It takes a lot of faith to send your barely 16 year old daughter on a plane flight to a destination over 30 hours away. Across an ocean to a dark continent filled with poverty and potential danger for 6 WEEKS. Knowing there will be undesirable living conditions and nobody even speaks the same language! But with God's mercy, He gave my parents the wisdom and faith to say yes! I am SO grateful for their obedience!

In 7 weeks, we raised $7000! That was a HUGE miracle! God provided EVERY bit of it! Years past, my parents might have been able to contribute more but it was not an option with my dad's job loss in the past year. I knew God was the one that would have to pave the way! We look back and think it had to literally come seeping through cracks in the walls! In other words, we can't trace all the money that came in! While we were IN Africa, people were STILL sending money to my home! We watched God do His work. We bought passports without any money to buy an airplane ticket and just kept believing God would provide at the right time. After we bought the tickets, we still did not have the living expense money! We just kept believing, God WOULD provide. And boy did He ever! I sometimes wondered if He would provide for ME. No, it was not always in MY ideal timing, or in the way that I would have chosen most of the time, but He abundantly provided all that we needed and more!

Looking back, the journey did not begin when I boarded the plane. It began when God was so faithfully present throught all the obstacles that got us to that point of boarding the plane. I remember peeking across the isle, and watching America disappear into the distance as we spent 9 hours flying over nothing but ocean. That was the point when I finally realized the everything about this trip is so massive. I as so small! I asked God to help me to remember my inadequacy as I rested in HIS ability.

After 30 hours of flight time spread over about 3 days, we finally arrived in Blantyre, Malawi. When I stepped off of the plane and onto dusty Malawian soil, I took a deep breath and my heart sang. I had NO idea what God had in store for the next 6 weeks! I was about to be stretched more than I ever would have thought possible. Yet I felt so alive. I had the unshakeable assurance that God had carried me that far and that surely He would carry me the rest of the way. This was where God had me. This is what I had prayed hours and hours for. I dreamed about it and at times wondered if I'd ever make it there, but I did. All the nerves were covered by my smile, as six weeks of the most challenging, incredible moments of my life began!

Stay tuned as I continue to write about my Journey to Africa...

Thoughts of Thanks

2011-11-13T16:22:00.002-06:00

This year I look back and we have been through some "stuff"! I realized there are 2 ways to look at things. You can sit back and complain about all the things you DON'T have OR look at all the things you DO have and realize how much favor and blessing you have on your life from God. Everyday I can find many things that I am thankful for! I am overwhelmed with the thought that my Heavenly Father loves me so much, that He has decided to pour out continual blessings in my life! Hearing of my children's trip while they were in Africa also placed a contentment in my heart that makes me realize just how much we do have and that we are a blessed people! I will never look at things the same way!

I am thankful for...

healthy children...a loving husband...loving parents...a place to live...appliances...pillows and blankets...beds...a bible to read whenever I want ...ability to learn ...electricity and water...the ability to feed 12 tummies...grocery stores...soap...an abundance of friends...music...safety...cars...smiles on children's faces...birthday's...dates with my hubby...dates with my children...talks with my daughters...a furnace...an 18 year old who still likes mom to give him hugs...hugs and kisses in general...socks...closet full of clothes ...people giving us clothes...thrift stores..children who love God!

A God who never gives up on me!
HIS...

Extreme Mercy

Extravagant Grace

Unwavoring Acceptance

Unconditional love

Forgiveness

Hope that He holds my future

When we look at the things that we have, it gives us reason to celebrate and look at things differently! We can rejoice and know that we are a blessed people. Even when things around us are going crazy, it is ALWAYS possible to see the good if we choose to do so.

Write a list, I ensure you, it will brighten your day and it will make your load seem a little lighter!

Make it a habbit to have..

THOUGHTS OF THANKS!

Coming this week...

my daughter will be sharing her journey to Africa! Stay tuned!

Foto Friday~ gigantic rabbit

2011-11-11T06:00:00.002-06:00

This is not a joke!
This rabbit is only 7 months old!
We are wondering just how HUGE it is going to get!

I'm just glad my kids buy his food!

Have a GREAT weekend!

Thoughts on everything...

2011-11-10T07:37:00.004-06:00

I am SO ready for winter

We have gotten a taste of it

The kids played in snow yesterday

Well, really they got to scoot their hands across the hood of our car and got it on their mittens

That was a BIG tease

Christmas is my favorite time of the year

I don't like how everyone bypasses Thanksgiving

I am thankful for friends

The older I get, the more I see just how special it is to have other's call you 'friend'

I hope when my daughters are adults, they will consider me their best friend and confidant

That is what my mom is for me

I love to share things with her

She always understands and encourages me

My baby is WAY to mobile

She is crawling AND pulling herself up!

I guess she knows she better get up and moving to keep up with her brothers

I have gotten used to drinking coffee in the evening

I have a friend who has Island Coconut coffee

I know jealousy is a bad thing but I AM jealous! :)

It is one of those fancy coffee makers that I would love to have someday!

Not really a chance of that when your house is in foreclosure and your husband has no job!

I am still happy I can make Snicker-doodle coffee that I got for my birthday, in my old fashioned coffee maker

About a year ago, mine was broke and I did not have one

I have decided to stay home at least 3 days a week without going ANYWHERE

I just get more done that way

I am learning to say "no" more to things outside the home

My husband has been finding work

It has been God's blessing

We are learning to live more and more by faith with EVERYTHING

It is not easy and predictable

That is how I like things

God is showing me that it is more "fun" to live His way

My kids are learning His provision first hand

My little boy is praying for a new pair of tennis shoes

I can't wait to see how God gives them to him

"We have not because we ask not"

He has asked and His faith is SO strong

He asks me everyday if this is the day he will get his shoes from God

I tell him he will receive them when God knows he needs them

It is hard to pack not knowing where you will be living

God knows, so I will just keep moving forward

I think we get to be in our home through the holidays

I am thankful for that!

My baby keeps waking up at night

Not sure why

As my grandma used to say...

"This too shall pass!"

I am reminded that someday, all that we are going through, will pass also

I pray I learn all that God wants me to learn through this

If we do not have trials, then that means we are living a complacent life

I am thankful for this trial because that means God sees it worth while to try me

Are you going through something in your life that God is wanting to use for His glory?

Take advantage of it!

To you, it might seem like a set-BACK

God can use it as a set-UP to show you more of Himself!

7 months ago

2011-11-07T09:20:00.002-06:00

I found these pitures today from EXACTLY 7 months ago

I was reminded of the terrible feelings I had at that time

she was 6 pounds and so sickly.

I put her in God's hands and knew He would provide for her and me

I'm so thankful this part of her life is past us

but I learned so much from it!

She was SO precious then and has grown a HUGE and DEEP well of love in 13 peoples hearts!

Each day with her is a blessing and today I was reminded again just how much I appreciate her little life in ouir family!!

From her scary beginnings to this!

7 months and 2 ounces shy of 16 pounds!

WOW!

What a gift she is!

Foto Friday ~ sibling love

2011-11-04T08:33:00.000-05:00

Nothing compares to the love of a big sister and little brother!
It is simply a joy to watch!
I always wanted to be a big sister but instead,
I get to take part in raising daughters and sons that are big sisters and little brothers to each other!

Life is good!

Enjoy the weekend!
Give somebody and unexpected hug!
It will bless their day and yours!

Geometry lesson

2011-11-03T08:46:00.001-05:00

This is a GREAT geometry project.
Little ones can do it too!

Get creative with the items you can use

We had marshmallows and yogurt covered raisins.

Try fruit snacks, BIG marshmallows, jelly beans or anything chewy

Use coffee filters to hold the contents because they won't roll out that way

oh, and they are VERY cheap! :)

We used toothpicks

You could use strait pretzels

We tried spaghetti noodles but they broke to easily

(That was also a great experiment for the little ones to learn from!)

I will never understand why kids like to eat raw shaghetti!

(That really had nothing to do with anything!)

My kids worked at this for a LONG time!

They tried many different creations
My 9 year old did this and we decided it was our favorite
and it held up really well!

It is so fun to watch them learn while having a great time!

Be creative and think outside of the box!

They will thank you for it!

Many brothers

2011-11-01T06:00:00.011-05:00

God must think this sweet little thing is pretty tough!
Can you imagine having 8 OLDER BROTHERS!
For now, mommy watches her like a hawk and protects her like a china doll!
I am sure the day will soon come,
when I have to let go a bit and she won't be satisfied with being attached to my hip LITERALLY!

Here are some things that are sure to happen when you are a sister of MANY brothers:

Every toy you have is pink but hot-wheels suddenly end up in front of you hourly
your teethers get chucked across the living room and end up behind furniture
somehow your toys can be found outside and you know that you did not put them there because you can't even walk yet!
if you are laying on the floor, in a matter of seconds, someone will be laying across your back
when you are learning to crawl, you have an audience circling you and cheering you on (actually, when you are learning ANYTHING the circle happens!)
there is always a ball being stuck in front of your face
your mom walks in the room and you have a toy alligator in your mouth
you get blue jammies with cars and trucks on them
you get strange things shoved in your mouth
you never get a full nap because either boys are yelling or your door gets opened before you are ready to be awake
your mommy never leaves you in a room without an adult
you hear questions about your body parts and the idea that something is missing that your brothers have and you don't (and you don't know what they mean yet)
you do not own an outfit that does not have pink, bows or ruffles on it because your mom has not been able to dress a baby girl for over 10 years
To you, your elastic headbands are for your hair, however, your brothers think they are giant rubberbands to shoot at each other
everyone calls you a princess and it's not to be mean
you have a frog put on your belly when you are 4 months old
you get fingers jammed in your mouth that are not yours
you start crawling at 6 months to ensure your survival
you get picked up by somebody only 8 inches taller than you
football games are your lullabye music
you realize that you may never get married because everyone will be terrified to come near you someday
your daddy is in awe of you and your cuteness
very loud noise levels do not scare you in the least
you have your ears pierced at 3 months and own more earrings than your mom and you are only 7 months!
you are loved and protected by many and you realize it will always be that way

It will be so very fun watching her with all these brothers! I can't imagine what God has in store for her! It's gonna be good! I'm thinking a professional boxer or something! :) Whatever it is, He has a plan for her and I will do all that I can to raise her up in the way that she should go!

Just hoping she makes it to her first birthday!

More about Halloween

2011-10-31T11:17:00.001-05:00

Because I detest this day soooooo very much, here is some more info on why we (American's) have adopted some of the traditions of Halloween and where they have derived from. It took conviction and seeking on my part, to find these things and it has set me free! Even bobbing for apples has a root of evil! Please read!

Halloween Origins and Customs

History traces Halloween back to the ancient religion of the Celtics in Ireland. The Celtic people were very conscious of the spiritual world and had their own ideas of how they could gain access to it - such as by helping their over 300 gods to defeat their enemies in battle, or by imitating the gods in showing cleverness and cunning.

Their two main feasts were Beltane at the beginning of summer (May 1), and Samhain (pronounced Sah-ween) at the end of summer (Nov. 1). They believed Samhain was a time when the division between the two worlds became very thin, when hostile supernatural forces were active and ghosts and spirits were free to wander as they wished.

Read the rest HERE...

The Scariest Thing You Can Do This Time of Year

2011-10-30T16:27:00.004-05:00

I HATE this time of year! Well, actually I LOVE fall but the dreaded Halloween, I cannot stand! I will not take part in it EVER and it saddens me so that others do! We cannot make take lightly the powers of darkness. My kids will never think trick-or-treating is fun and dressing up will not happen! (Ok, maybe dress-up in the daily fun kind of way! But not for Halloween!) This is my conviction and this writing pretty much sums it up!

The Scariest Thing You Can Do This Halloween

The fear of the Lord is to hate evil. (Proverbs 8:13)
By Doug Phillips
Our country is in the grip of a fear crisis. The tension because of this fear is almost palpable. There is fear over the election, fear over the economy, and fear over hundreds of other issues ranging from the environment to terrorism.

For more, go HERE...

Foto Friday ~ An Adult

2011-10-28T06:00:00.005-05:00

It is official!
We have another adult in our home.
Legally anyway!
Our oldest has turned 18!
I am so very proud of him!
Africa really "grew" him up!
He really was very grown up already but 6 weeks away from home for the first time in his life, half a world away, is dramatic!
(for both of us!)

I have enjoyed SO much watching him grow up!
I do however, realize that in my busyiness I may have wasted time thinking of things that really did not matter as he was growing up.
I wish I would have enjoyed his boyish ways more and worried less.
I wonder why I did not have him sit on my lap more to read stories to him before bed instead of needing more time for ME!
Why didn't I go outside and run and play with him instead of worrying about clean floors?
Why did it matter how many of his fingerprints were left on the windows?
Now, I would like to see little marks of him everywhere but his hands are busy other places
I wish I would have answered all his questions with patience instead of haste realizing that there were few years left that he would look to only me and my opinions

This week, he asked me to go to a movie and go shopping with him just because he wanted me too!
I did!
I dropped everything I was doing,
I even went fresh out of the shower, putting my pride aside just to be with HIM!
(and he did not even care I had wet hair!)
I hope it is not to late to show him how much I love him by spending time with him whenever I can!
Now it is HIS choice when he wants to see or be with be!
It used to be he was ALWAYS with me because that was our life!
I realize that each day, is closer to him having some other woman in his life to do things with.

Until that happens, I will appreciate being with him when I can...

I have and will learn from this!
I don't want to live with any regrets!
I get it now how fast time goes and I want to savor it all.
Sometimes the days are long but the years go by soooo very fast!
I can't let time slip away so easily with my other children.
I will ask God daily to remind me that there is only a short time with my children because I want to make sure I appreciate them while they are young.
They too will be 18 one day and it goes WAY to fast!

My son,
I love you and I pray that you know how much you mean to me!
You are a blessing and a TRUE joy in my life!
I am so very proud of the Godly man you have become!
Continue to follow His lead wherever that may be
He will NEVER leave you nor forsake you!
I know I have failed you as a perfect parent,
but God never will fail you!
Thank you for being you!

Happy Birthday!

Fallin' fun

2011-10-27T06:00:00.001-05:00

The final really IDEAL weather is behind us for another year
So over the weekend we took every advantage of it!
We had fun
roastin'
marshmallows

S-w-ee-eet Stuff was
sportin'
her little denim jacket while
sittin'
on grandma's lap

Big brother and little brothers
relaxin'
on a swing with no seat!
(Good thing my 3 year old had on his boots for that!)
At least he had pants on! He usually wears them with only his underwear on!

The boots help you swing WEEELY fast! (That's HIS words!)

Just
swingin'
for awhile

And
smilin'

And just plain
lookin'
cute!

Throwin'
leaves is the best!

Well, actually

jumpin'

in them is the best!

I know that winter is upon us but we plan on

enjoyin'

the rest of fall while we can!

The Father's love...

2011-10-26T10:58:00.003-05:00

All of my life I have had abandonment issues. It started with my parents divorce and then continued throughout my life. My sister died in a car accident years ago, my best friend moved away while we were in high school and so many other things I could write to "prove" that I should have this issue.

God tells me differently! He WILL not leave me! WAIT! Is that true? He won't EVER abandon me? Even when I fail Him?! Even when I do things over and over and seem to STILL struggle?! I have always had a hard time believing that! I can't let it penetrate to my heart! Even now, while I am watching all of the things in our life unfold and I SEE Him working, I STILL have a very hard time grasping that He desires to be my Father and provide for me just because He loves me! I cannot comprehend that just because I am His daughter, I don't ever have to prove myself to Him or try to gain His approval. You mean my hair does not have to be perfect, it doesn't matter what clothes I wear, or even how good of a mother and wife I am?! I am in His heart just because I am me!

I am sure that this is all part of the refining process that He is continuing to do in me. It is so very hard for me to see that He desires good things for me! Hard for me to understand that He would love for me to lay in His arms and comfort me! He is for me and not against me! So for this moment and hopefully here after, I will realize that my Heavenly Father :

Is my encourager

Is my source of life

Will NEVER abandon me

only wants good for me

wants me to FULLY trust Him and Him alone

knows my heart and treasures it

sees me as a precious daughter

can satisfy ALL of my longings

can be trusted

can and WILL provide

gave me my precious children

WILL take care of them also

holds today AND my eternity in His hands

I have been reminded today, as I battle the thoughts of, " why do I deserve all that He has done and is doing?" Then the humbleness and realization of the fact that I really DON'T deserve ANYTHING but He loves me and I am His child. It has brought me to my knees in tears realizing that He is the Father I have always desired and that HE is who He says He is and that He loves me because of who I AM! That is simply AWESOME and I am so thankful I have a Father I can rest in and loves me!

Understand, my friend, that He is the same for you! Just sit back and allow Him to love on you! There is nothing He wants more, than for us to soak up His love! That is where we can fully understand His plan for us...you can be assured, that you can do nothing in yourself to deserve it! It is just because He is God and you are His child!

Just thinkin...

2011-10-25T08:19:00.000-05:00

wondering what the next 3 weeks are going to hold

actually excited to watch it unfold

hey, that rhymed

I usually fear the unknown

Not anymore!

God's provision is amazing

He is a big God

There is nothing He cannot do

I will tell you when the entire story is complete

You are going to LOVE it!

the baby is 7 months old already!

she is scooting everywhere

I DO NOT like that stage

I have been through it 11 other times

I am thankful for new friends

I very much appreciate ALL my friends

my washing machine was out AGAIN

they fixed it but now it is SHREDDING our clothes

NOT COOL!

my oldest is having surgery next week

we have had an intestinal flu going around for 4 weeks

another one got it yesterday

NOT COOL either

It lasts 7 days

We could have it until Easter at the rate we are going

Only one gets it at a time

I have an incredible story that I am having a hard time wrapping my mind around

it really will blow you away

I just can't share it yet

I really am sorry!

It will be worth the wait

(No, I am not pregnant!) :(

Brokenness

2011-10-23T14:35:00.006-05:00

It is no secret, I have been through a journey the past year! If you have read my blog long, or have not, just go back and look at my previous posts. The journey feels long some days. I am so very thankful for the chastening of the Lord, however! It is through these times, that my need for Him can be revealed.

Before this journey, I never thought of myself as a proud person. I know humans in general, struggle with it, but I did not think it was a HUGE issue with me. Well, just as everything else in my life that I THINK I don't have an issue with, God is so faithful (Although I am not that eager at the time!) to reveal the things I DO need to work on. Even just a little of something we struggle with, if not dealt with, can become a real battle at some point. This past few weeks, He has shown me my pride issues and allowed me to see that I need to be broken before others and Christ if He is to fulfill His plan in my life.

I read a book. Actually three! I STRONGLY recommend them! Through these books, God changed my life! You can buy them as a trilogy now. You can buy it HERE. It is 'Surrender', 'Brokenness', and 'Holiness'. They are written by Nancy Leigh DeMoss. In the book, 'Brokenness', She listed several things for the reader to show the difference of a broken person and a proud person. I would LOVE to list all of them, but there were many, so I am going to share a few that really convicted me:

PROUD PEOPLE FOCUS ON THE FAILURES OF OTHERS AND CAN READILY POINT OUT THOSE FAULTS ~ Broken people are more conscious of their own spiritual need than of anyone else's.
PROUD PEOPLE HAVE TO PROVE THEY ARE RIGHT-THEY HAVE TO GET THE LAST WORD ~ Broken people are willing to yeild the right to be right.
PROUD PEOPLE ARE SELF-PROTECTIVE OF THEIR TIME, THEIR RIGHTS, AND THEIR REPUTATION. ~ Broken people are self-denying and self-sacrificing.
PROUD PEOPLE CRAVE SELF-ADVANCEMENT ~ Broken people desire to promote others.
PROUD PEOPLE ARE ELATED BY PRAISE AND DEFLATED BY CRITISCISM ~ Broken people know that any praise of their accomplishments belongs to the Lord and that criticism can help them grow into spiritual maturity.
PROUD PEOPLE ARE QUICK TO BLAME OTHERS ~ Broken people accept personal responsibility and can acknowledge where they were wrong in a situation.
PROUD PEOPLE ARE REMORSEFUL OVER THEIR SIN-SORRY THAT THEY GOT CAUGHT OR FOUND OUT ~ Broken prople are truly repentant over their sin, and the evidence of their repentance is that they forsake the sin.
PROUD PEOPLE COMPARE THEMSELVES WITH OTHERS AND FEEL WORTHY OF RESPECT ~ Broken people compare themselves with the holiness of God and feel a desperate need for His mercy.

Anything hit home? WAY to many for me! As I read the list in the book, I almost did not go to the next one because there was so much conviction. Through that however, God began to reveal to me my need for brokenness. So, my next question to God was, "Father, how do I get from where I am now, to where YOU desire me to be?" His answer was that I need HIM! I also needed to look back and ask the Holy Spirit to guide me by confessing my weaknesses to others from my past and also asking for others to forgive me. OH BOY! That is not easy! Yeah, fine and easy to teach it to my kids, but now I AM supposed to do it?! UGH! James 4:10 says ~ Humble yourself in the sight of the Lord, and He will lift you up" God desires to see a willing heart that is hungry for His ways. His ways are contrary to our flesh. When we do FINALLY give in to pride and decide to take the road of humility, God begins to work. It is maybe the most important thing to being a Christian. Ask yourself, "Am I a BROKEN christian?"

I really never thought about how broken I was. Since God has shown me my pride, I have learned to walk daily in humbleness. Now, trust me, it is not easy and I battle it many times! I LOVE to be right! Just ask any of my family members! I can now, give in to a debate and either just be quiet or admit the other person is right! (That IS God!) Try being broken before others and watch what God does! Psalm 51:17 ~ My sacrifice, O God, is a broken spirit; a broken and contrite heart, you, God, will not despise. I DO NOT want my Heavenly Father to despise me! I desire His blessing, His love and I long to see His heart!

If you desire to seek Him more and move closer to His heart, become a broken christian! It's a step that will lead to total humility! Proverbs 11:2 ~ When pride comes, then comes disgrace, but with humility comes wisdom. God's wisdom will lead you bless you in ways you cannot believe! You will begin to look to others and what you can do for them unstead of what everyone needs to do for you! There is such freedom in that!

Will you walk in pride or humblesness?

Foto Friday ~ I'm Nice Like That

2011-10-21T08:29:00.001-05:00

I know, I know!
YES! Another collection of pictures of "Da Baby"

But I just could not resist

Take note of those sweet little piggies!

Don't feel guilty for jealousy feelings that may be stirring!

You can apologize to me later!

YES, her cheeks ARE as scrumptous as they look!
I just HAD to share the love!

I'm just nice like that! :)

Have a GREAT God-filled weekend!

Eternal Value

2011-10-20T11:05:00.006-05:00

Time goes WAY to fast and these sweet moments will someday be only a memory!

God...
please let me appreciate the simple, beautiful things
and not be consumed with the tedious and mundane.
Help me to TRULY understand,
that the time I put into my children,
teaching them to love, serve and find joy in the hard times,
has eternal value and it IS and WILL all be worth it!
I do not want to waste a single moment of my children's lives
fretting upon the things that You have in YOUR hands!
Oh, may they see YOUR reflection in my eyes and in my responses,
and not see the circumstances that surround me because they know I am looking to You.
I desire to reflect the character of You so that someday,
they will come to know You as their loving Father and provider just as You have taught me.
When I am weary and feel just plain weak,
Please remind me to savor every moment of their sweet little lives
and continue to whisper to my heart the gentle reminder,
that this is all for you and YOU and for YOUR glory!
It's not to be about me anyway!

Amen

Me, Playing God?

2011-10-18T21:11:00.001-05:00

With all the things going on in our lives, I always thought that I was a pretty good wife and THOUGHT I was doing okay. I had worked on the submission thing for many years and decided that I did better than some anyway. I began to see that maybe that was not good enough anymore. Is it okay to just stay where you are because things are going okay? Or are they really going okay? I began to ask myself if there is more and how do I know that this is where God wants us. Does He have more for us? So...

I began to pray for unity in our marriage. OH BOY! I was in for a surprise! I did not really pray for unity because I thought we had a problem with it in our marriage. I was just moving towards surrender and decided that praying for unity was a good thing. My ignorance caught up with me.

I have always been deeply in love with my husband. We have always been the kind who could spend days 24/7 and not get tired of each other. We have been married 18 years and I still have that "skip a beat" kind of feeling in my heart when he calls or walks in the door. There is NOBODY I would rather be with than him! With that being said, God has taken my husband and I on a journey the past few months and even more deeply, the past few weeks.

Whether you have the greatest marriage you could possibly imagine or you are struggling with even WANTING to be married anymore, PLEASE pray for unity in your marriage and take cover! (No, really I'm kidding about that part, but do be prepared for some refining to happen!) Please know that God can make a GREAT marriage even better and also restore a broken marriage. It is His desire! Please don't settle for "okay" anymore!

Submission is a battle for me. It used to be a REAL issue now I just have to take it to God when a problem arises and He is there to give me the ability to submit. Do I battle with my will sometimes? OH YES! Have I always learned to keep my mouth shut? NO WAY! But God is a patient God and I know that He who has begun a good work in me, will be faithful to complete it! It also helps that I have a husband who is gracious and understands my shortcomings and just sits back and waits for God to speak to me instead of telling me how wrong I am! (Me? Not so much!) Anyway, if you struggle with submission, understand that it does not make you weak! It actually makes you stronger! It is not something to dread, there is a freedom when you submit. The definition from Webster's is: the condition of being submissive, humble, or compliant & an act of submitting to the authority or control of another

The part that caught my attention was, humble. Jesus humbled Himself to the point of death so why in the world can I not even keep my tongue under control! Sometimes I have a little minor problem with voicing my opinion. I used to think it was good for my husband to hear of all the things that HE needed to change. I thought maybe he would catch on and then if I made him aware of his ways, he would fall to his knees and repent to me and God. HA!

A few weeks ago, I sat on the couch and in a "loving" way, told my husband all things that I had started to notice that were getting out of control with him. (Aren't I kind!) He sat and listened to all the things that I noticed. I told him how it would help me and the kids if he would just do this and that. I REALLY thought at the time that it would help him. I went to bed that night, prayed and asked God to allow him to receive all things that I had said to him and change him from hearing it! (It hurts to even write that!) The next day, I was praying and God revealed something to me. I was trying to be God in my husbands life! I had never even been aware of that! ( No, really I had not thought of it that way! I am amazed too!)  So back to the unity thing...God was refining me and showing me how I was causing us NOT to be in unity. Oh there were many more that God had revealed to me in the previous weeks, but this one was hard for me to swallow! I was trying to be GOD in his life! How dare I! How could I tell him what he needed to do to walk closer with God! Why did I think that I needed to tell him all of that? I was actually thinking it was because we needed accountability, and we do! But if I am TELLING him of all his weaknesses, it will only make him more resentful. I MUST allow God to do that!

I then went and repented and confessed it to my husband. He was so forgiving and everything I was desiring began to happen! God WAS working in him but it was NOT because of me! It was through God himself! Our unity began to be SO obvious! Just as silver has to refined to be beautiful, so do we! The refining is SO very hard! And painful! But it is SOOOOOOmoldable and willing hearts.

Also remember, when we are submitting to our husbands, we are actually submitting to God! If we can't submit to them, we will have a hard time submitting to God!  Ask your self, "Is it important for me to get MY way, or do I only desire God's way?"  1 Peter 5:5 ...God resists the proud, but gives grace to the humble."

When your husband begins to see you desiring to please him and notices that you are asking, not telling him what to do, he will notice! If this is not an area you struggle in, like I do, ask God what area He would like you to work on.  When He reveals it to you, ask Him to help you and go to your husband and tell him what God has revealed to you and ask him for his forgiveness. (That's the "humbleness" part) I am telling you, your marriage will grow and God's glory will be revealed.

There is no greater thing, than to walk in unity with your husband and know that God is pleased!

Flowers from God

2011-10-16T11:36:00.004-05:00

Years ago, we were going through a REALLY hard time. I had one of those times where I kept praying and nothing seemed to be happening. Months of waiting. Have you ever been there? I may have even been having a pity party for myself. (I know hard to believe!) I used to do that quite often! Okay, I'm humble! I have still been known to do that time to time! Anyway, I asked for God to show me that He had not forgotten me! Just something to hang on to. My faith in God was strong but I needed something tangible! I continued with my day, went to bed with no sign but kept believing. The next morning, I went to my back door to go do laundry and I looked down, and there was a bouquet of BEAUTIFUL fresh picked flowers! I kneeled down on the floor and wept. I still to this day have NO clue who set them there. I am convinced that an angel of the Lord put them there. I knew EXACTLY what it meant! God knew I needed to "see" Him and He revealed His love to me in such an obvious way.

The next week, was a week of blessing.  We began to see answers in our lives that were SO God! The flowers were the beginning of His promise to take care of me! Well, since then God has revealed His love to me through flowers. I know, it sounds strange but it is SO true! God has USED people to give me flowers but everytime I receive flowers, God reveals Himself in great ways!  One time it was a lilac bush! That was an amazing time of praise in my life. After one of my miscarriages, the hospital brought me one white rose. I knew it was God reminding me He had not forgotten me! 4 weeks later, I was pregnant again already! There are many other times that He has poured out His love on me through flowers.

Usually these flowers come from the most unusual places. Not my husband, or anyone expected. Neighbors and even strangers have given them to me! Oh and the best ones are the ones picked from from my sweet children's hands! Always at the most unexpected time! Okay, to tell you why I have gone in such detail to tell you about my Heavenly Father bringing me flowers!

The week before my birthday, I received a bouquet of flowers! My children know of my Father's love affair with me and how He always "brings" me flowers to display His love for me. I layed them on the table and my daughter walked by, and said, "MOM, God gave you flowers! Something good must be coming!"

I had really not thought about it yet, but looked at her and said, "Oh thank you for reminding me, I wonder what is coming!" Well, the next week was the "blessing" over me that God gave my husband and EVERYDAY since my birthday (that is 8 days), God has given us a blessing of money. Mind you, we have NEVER once asked for money! People who know us, have prayed and things have even been revealed to others that we are not sure how they know but God has USED others to bring blessing to us.   This week alone, we have received over $2000!  Oh and do I thank them for their obedience! Don't ever dismiss what God may have you do for others! He will use it in a mighty way! We also had a water bill that kept reading $0 so my husband called and the next month, the same thing! Finally, our local water works came because I guess our meter had broke. They fixed it and my husband went to pay the bill that was 2 days from getting shut off from the 2 months before when the meter DID work! He assumed they would prorate it from the months before and God had blessed us so much that we could actually catch up. He talked to them, showed them the bill, and they said they could not just "make up" a bill and we did not have to pay for the 2 months previous! Another blessing!

Well, I have another HUGE story that is in the works, of God's faithfulness. I can't get into it now because I feel I need to wait until it is complete, but I am giving you my word, that you WILL hear about it! Remember, we are losing our home in 4 weeks and we are wondering where God is going to do to direct us! That is all I will say!

Please be mindful of the little things in your life that God may be trying to show you He is there! I know He uses flowers for me! Ask Him to show you what His reminder is for you! I GUARANTEE you He will show you something He does just for you! He LOVES to give His children good gifts!  You ARE one of His children! By the way, ON my birthday morning, I received this...

Just wait until you hear what He has done for us after this beautiful flower display!

God's faith IN us

2011-10-12T15:57:00.002-05:00

One of the most important things in my life is that I am faithful with all that God has given me. Also that I know God can do anything He chooses. Any limits that I see are from me! Many times, I know God CAN do anything He desires, but do I believe He will? I have watched many times in my life, God do things that amaze me and yet I know that I should not be surprised. It is His character. He loves to give His children good gifts. I never want to seek His hand, just fall in love with His heart. That is  how I have found the difference between true faith and moments of faith.  HIS faith is IN us ALL the time! Faith in us lasts only for a short time. Yes, I have faith in what His word says but only because I see HIS faithfulness. So I can LIVE in faith because of Him or I can just have it every once in a while but it only lasts as long as the moment because it is just MY faith.  Faith has to be IN and THROUGH God!

As I am watching God work in our desperate situation these past few months, I have realized that without Him, I have no faith! I can choose to look to Him or choose to believe what my circumstances say but ultimately that faith comes from reading His word and seeing Him work. It's nothing in me. Faith is the substance of things hoped for and the evidence of things not seen. (Hebrews 11:1) God is the only one that can increase my faith through hope and things not seen.  I don't have an answer right now on how our problems are going to work out.  Everyone around me, would say that it is hopeless. I even say it is hopeless! HOWEVER, I have a God who says that," He cares for the birds of the air and they neither sow nor reap, how much more does He care for me..." Also, His word says He has plans to prosper us and to give us a hope and a future.  MY faith would be that I could get out of these things by way of MY doing and even then, It would not help or if it did, it would be for a very short time! Faith in HIM says that I know I can not get out of this but I know that my God knows and is working for us! If He is for us, who can be against us? So no matter what the situation is that I am in, there is NOTHING that can happen that does not sift through His hand first.  It does not mean that things won't get tough but if my faith is from Him, then I will know that all things work together for good for those who love Him. That is what His word says. I can come up with all kinds of solutions but I know that His way is best and better than my ideas!  Our will would be the same as God's if we had all the facts! In other words, if we knew everything, and we don't, we would understand why we have to wait sometimes or why things don't work out in the way we choose! I have come to find out, that usually I have been wrong and thankful that things did not go my way!

Last night, I had been asked to take care of someones pet and watch their home while they were away. I did not want to tell her that we are losing our house and the time they wanted me to dog sit would be the week we may have to move.  I began to talk and it just came out.  We continued to talk and it was such a blessing to me! I got off of the phone and thanked God for using my trial to bless others. It is all worth it if other's can see God's character through my circumstances. How humbling!  After something like that happens, I usually begin to be attacked. This morning I began to battle my thoughts. Not fear, just questioning. I stopped immediately and told God that I will continue to believe Him and that I will continue to trust Him.  Later today, God blessed us AGAIN with another substantial amount of money. I have never asked for money! I just keep focusing on Him and having faith from Him that He can and WILL provide! He has chosen blessing us through money at this point in our situation.

I know I don't deserve all the blessings that God is giving! I feel so unworthy!  I see my past mistakes and can't, for the life of me, understand why He sees fit to bless me in these ways! I just know that His love is beyond anything that I can imagine and He can do anything He wants to because He is God not because I am me! That is the faith I live for!

I will continue to follow Him and believe that His plan is best no matter what everything around me says. Please know that His faith is IN you also! He desires for us to trust Him the way that children trust their parents. My 2 year old does not wake up wondering if I will feed him or wash his clothes or where he will lay his head at night! He just lives and has "faith" that I will. He knows I always have! That is the hope we have in our heavenly Father.

We are His children and we can trust Him to supply ALL of our needs! I am so thankful for His provision and His timing! Rest knowing that He can be that in your life! Ask for His faith in you to grow! It will!

Year of blessing is upon us

2011-10-11T14:29:00.003-05:00

My birthday was on the 8th of October. I turned a number that ends in 0. It is not 30 and not 50. So you can pretty much guess what that number is. Well, I dreaded the day. I had a REALLY hard time turning 30! Why? Because it meant 40 was the next big one! Needless to say I survived and lived to tell about it! It happened to be the most memorable birthday so far. Here's the story...

My grandma grew up in a small town that I ABSOLUTELY love. Lots of great memories for me and when I go back there, I just feel all warm and fuzzy inside! A piece of heaven on earth. So, for my birthday, I asked my husband if we could go there for the day. The baby, him and I left around noon. My husband began to talk to me. He said he was going to give me a card, then he was going to write a letter but he decided speaking what he had to say was the only way.

God layed on his heart earlier that week a word for me that he was supposed to share. He began to tell me of how God had spoke the number "40" in his heart and what symbolism it has in the bible. Noah with 40 days and nights, Moses was on the mountain for 40 days before he received the 10 commandments, Jesus was in the desert 40 days and nights and tempted by satan himself, the Israelites wandered around for 40 years...He began to search it out and realized it always meant trial and tribulation. He felt like that was NOT good to share with me ON my birthday! Did it mean my 40th year was going to get worse? We have been through so much! Especially this past year. Job loss, miscarriage, my grandmother dying, gestational diabetes with my pregnancy, children going to Africa for 6 weeks, losing our house and MANY other things. He was very hesitant to go any further! God then spoke to him very sweetly and reminded him that it will be my 41ST year! 40 years is done and what happened after all the things mentioned in the bible after 40 years? BLESSING! God poured out blessing, favor and His hand was seen! God shared with my husband that the "desert" and wandering are over! Everything that the enemy has come to destroy will be returned to me and His glory will be seen this coming year! WOW!  Needless to say, I was crying by the time He finished!

I felt like all that we have been through, was wiped away that instant! Not liked wiped away and forgotten but wiped away as in peace replaced all the doubt. All the times of wondering, questioning, and anxiousness were OVER! It was actually something that I had already knew, just not in the way God spoke to my husband.  I had more of the idea of Christmas and what it is like to have this fun gift to give your child and you can't wait for him to open it but you know it is best to wait for that special day! God is waiting for that day when He can reveal His plan. A day when we are at the end and we realize that there is NO one but God who can get us out of our mess!

We went out to dinner that evening and on our way home, my 14 year old called and was so excited! She was talking really fast and I told her to slow down so I could understand her. She continued to tell me that in the mail we received an envelope. She opened it and it had a letter with a check in it. A SUBSTANTIAL amount!   An amount that I cannot imagine anyone being able to just write a check for without being late on bills or making a house payment on time! I know, hard to believe, I began to cry! God was confirming my husbands word to me that the year of blessing was upon us! We don't know who sent the check. The letter just said that they read my blog and that they wanted to bless us. BOY did they ever! It was from the hand of God! We are so thankful for obedience and a willingness to give in this way to us. It is so much more than the money! It is a peace that God IS for us!  If He is for us, who can be against us?! The check was great and did help us make it this month with our bills that we had NO way to pay! But more importantly, it came ON my birthday and it is proof that our year of blessing is upon us and that God is going to continue to provide! I already knew that, but to SEE it is so amazing!

I have some other little stories that I will share in the weeks to come of His blessings and from the way it looks, more that I don't know about yet. I thank you for all of your prayers and want you to know we feel them! Please know God IS who He says He is, and He does what He says He is going to do! Take care of His children! If you have something that you are not sure if He is hearing you and things look really bad, hang in there and keep your eyes focused on Him NOT your circumstances! They are NOTHING to Him! They can change with just one word from His heart!

40 isn't so bad after all!

Foto Friday~ not sure what to call this!

2011-10-07T08:43:00.000-05:00

It's amazing what brothers find to do with their siblings!

I'm not sure why this poor sweet baby was tormented in this way!

I guess with 8 brothers, she better get used to it!

So far, she has seemed to survive just fine!

Hopefully the love from us will give her the ability to survive THESE sort of situations!

Have a weekend filled with love!

One year ago...

2011-10-06T16:20:00.001-05:00

Today, is the one year anniversary of my sweet, precious grandma's death.

She is sitting at Jesus feet now.

It's actually where she always longed to be!

But I am selfish and wish I could be sitting with her in my living room!

I have missed her so much!

I don't quite know how I have done it without her!

She always had so much wisdom to share.

She had a way of making me know I was not alone when I was not the parent I should have been...

When I failed to love my husband the way God intended, she would share with me the ways she failed as a wife but how forgiving God was with her.

Most importantly, she showed me the power of a relationship with Christ!

The power of prayer and that the bible is the LIVING word of God and that it will NEVER fail me!

So although I miss her, I realize that the legacy she has left me, will be passed down for generations and she is always with me!

And that sweet day, when I enter the gates of heaven, she will be there with her arms opened wide and tell me of all the things she has learned again! Oh that sweet, sweet day!

"Little" FAITH!

2011-10-04T21:39:00.001-05:00

In my morning bible study, we were asked what "little" faith might mean. We all sat there and had a real hard time coming up with an answer. I think we were all in agreement that the things we could think of that required faith, were all in the end, BIG! So faith, according to the word of God in Hebrews 11 is: the substance of things hoped for and the evidence of things not seen. I thought I would share a little story with you that happened a couple weeks ago that was an example to me of "little" faith but turned into something BIG!

I went to our local pet supply store to get rabbit food with our 6 year old.  We went through the normal routine of looking at the toy trucks, tractors, and trailers. We also went through the normal routine of the question/answer game that ends with, "no honey, I can't but that today." There was a specific little truck he REALLY wanted and he wanted a trailer to go with it.   I told him I WOULD buy the truck because he had helped me earlier that day, clean and he had been very diligent at keeping on task. I continued to tell him, that because daddy still has no job, I cannot possibly get the trailer to go with it and that maybe soon, he could earn some money to buy it and I gave him my word that we would come back when he had earned the money.  He shook his head yes and walked out proudly with his little blue truck. I will say, I thought there might be a little more of a protest or at least some sort of bargaining that might happen. I was so proud of him and told him that it made me so happy that he listened and respected my "wait" answer.

The next stop was our local discount bread store. We were waiting in line and an elderly gentleman in front of us turned around and looked down at my little boy and said in a weak, scratchy voice, "This is what you call being at the right place at the right time little man!" He then handed my son a $1 bill. Then another, and then another. My sons eyes grew bigger and bigger with each dollar he gave him. He said, "Thank you so much!"  The gentleman slowly turned around with a smile and walked out. The cashier had a huge smile on her face and looked at me and winked. My little boy turned to me and said, "Mommy, he gave me ALL the money he had!"  Such a sweet thing for him to notice that the gentleman made a sacrifice for him.

We continued outside and I took him by the hands and looked into his big blue eyes and said, "Sweetheart, this is God's reward to you for listening and obeying me earlier. Do you remember how much that trailer you wanted was?"

"No...do I have enough in my hand mommy?" He questioned.

"YEP! The trailer was $2.99 and you now have $3 in your hand! God knew your heart and He has blessed you for your obedience!"

"Can we go get my trailer mom?"

"That's where I was planning on going!"

About 2 blocks later, God quietly whispered to my heart, "If I care about a 6 year old and finding him a way to get a trailer, don't you think I can take care of you and provide all that YOU need?!

I began to cry! It has been a year now without a job.  I'm not complaining and my faith is totally in God, but our circumstances from the outside looking in, is BAD! I have wondered how in the world we are getting out of this one! What is going to happen! But through that moment of teaching my sweet child the ability of God and His great love for him, God taught ME that I am His child also and that He sees, He knows, He cares, and He provides!

So, when it looks like everything around me is caving in and I have no answers and only questions, I can walk in BIG faith knowing that my God CAN and WILL take care of me! My son's little trailer sitting on his bedroom floor, is a reminder of all that my God can do! If he can whisper in a man's ear to give a little boy all the money in his hand, then I know that He can take care of our family and it only takes one whisper to turn everything around! I will continue to look to Him and I am persuaded that He is able!   My hope is that He sees and knows our needs, the evidence is that He is working in our behalf to bring glory to Him through our circumstances.

Just ask my little boy! He has no doubt!!

6 months of pure bliss!

2011-10-02T15:55:00.000-05:00

Yes! She is 6 months already!
It really amazes me that half a year has come and gone!
She is just simply...
...PRECIOUS...
In EVERY way!

Full of smiles, giggles and so far, toothless grins!

She is our hope of a future that God prospers.

He has done so much and I know, when I look at her,

He is who He says He is and WILL do what He says He will do!

A baby just reminds me of the mercy and grace of God!

Choosing to give me a gift that only HE can give to someone who does not deserve it!

I am SO privileged to be her mommy!

God, thank you!!

I am blessed!

Foto Friday~ no words need to be said!

2011-09-30T17:43:00.001-05:00

May God's love reach this sweet little one in Malawi, Africa as she grows!
Someday, hopefully, she will be greeted in heaven by us because we have prayed for her to recieve Jesus into her heart!

Foto Friday~They are back!

2011-09-23T16:57:00.000-05:00

The day FINALLY came!
We picked up our sweet, world traveling, children from the airport!

Big and little sister bonded again!

And the middle sister and big sister where so excited to be together again!

We are hearing story after story and I am having the time of my life listening! And the joy of just looking at their faces is intoxicating! I go up and hug them just because I can! :)

Thank you for ALL of your prayers! God has been SO good!

On last hurdle

2011-09-21T07:24:00.000-05:00

We leave today to pick our kids up! Their plane arrives tomorrow afternoon and I feel like a kid waiting for Christmas morning! No, I will not sleep tonight, I am sure!

There is ONE last hurdle. There are scheduled riots for TODAY in Malawi. Their government is really currupt and the people are tired of it. They have canceled flights and closed the airport before because of riots in the past. I am praying for safety for them and their scheduled arrival time. If you would pray with me in the coming hours, I would appreciate it! I will keep everyone updated. I have no contact with them now until they arrive back in the states.

The end...or the beginning?

2011-09-19T05:30:00.002-05:00

As I sit here to night, I have so many emotions going through my mind. My children have been through so much in Africa and we ALL have changed. We may not fully understand until later on. But I am sure some of the changes will be noticed immediately. We pick our kids up at the airport at the end of this week. I dropped them off teenagers, but I am sure, that we will be picking up adults! The change in their voices and the topics of their conversations, gives us the indication that in 6 weeks, they have grown up! Hard for me to grasp really. Sad in some ways. Although rather strange for me to be sad they have grown up in a "good" way! I just know that the things I have always known about my children, will somehow have shifted from being totally dependant on me, to not needing me to the capacity they used to. Yes, that is our goal as parents and I do welcome it, but a very new feeling for me.

My son will turn 18 in a few weeks and I knew that letting go more was inevitable, but this was so abrupt! Maybe that is how God knew I could handle it best. "Cold-turkey" letting go! After all, I know they were never mine, and at some point this letting go thing was bound to hit me in the face sometime and I would have to leave them totally in the hands of God. Surrender? YIKES! My life is supposed to be that anyway, right? Surrendered to the things that God desires, not what I desire. That's a tough thing to swallow, for me anyway. I like comfort, predictability, stability, and things MY way. Not easy to give all that up for something that requires me to die to self.

So how did I get here? How did I do it? How did I sit in the car, (sobbing uncontrollably I might add), leaving the airport 6 weeks ago, telling God that I can't do this! Telling Him that He thinks I am WAY stronger than I think I am! To sitting here now, with 6 weeks of peace and a strength that I did not know was even possible or could exist in my soul? My answer is... ~surrender~! Surrender to a living God who DOES supply all of my needs! Even the things that require the most of myself. For me that is my children. Did I do it? Could I have done this on my own? NO WAY! It was way to big for me! It started with a little amount of faith and then grew. Faith is things hoped for and the evidence of things not seen. So that is how I did it! Surrender to faith and faith in my God! Easy? NOPE! I am sure that the things I have experienced will only "grow" me in the years to come and now I feel as if I can take on anything! I thank God for watching over me and also giving me the strength to do what He said I could do! For that, I am forever changed! What do you need to surrender to Him today? Give it up! he does not want you to carry it, and He will give you all that you need to stand strong in Him. Try it! You will never be the same!

Our journey TO Africa, is almost through. However, I am certain that our journey in other ways, is just beginning!

Foto Friday~ mini me

2011-09-16T06:00:00.001-05:00

This is my 14 year old with her little "mini Me"

You can't see it, but they both have deep dimples and the EXACT same color of hair!

It is so fun to watch the older kids fall in love with the little ones of the family!

What blessings we have been given!

Take time to enjoy your blessings this weekend!

One week left for our kids to be home from Africa and sleeping in their own beds! I can't wait! Please continue to pray for them. They are in villages this week and it has been the worst living conditions they have witnessed so far. No shower for 5 days and the food is less than desirable! Along with bats, rats, lizards, and their mattress covered in bugs that you really don't need to shoo them away because they are so thick it is pointless! Since it is daytime here, she said it was good I was awake because then I could pray her to sleep! That was quite a tug on this mama's heart!

However, my daughter had the chance to tell one lady of Jesus who had NEVER even heard of His name and she brought her to Christ. Also, a 14 year old that got to know Jesus just because they were in the village they were in. God is using them as ministers for Him. For that we are truly thankful! My daughter said it is worth losing all of her comforts and she would live like she has been for the rest of her life if it would mean helping others find Jesus! Nothing else really matters!

May I have that Christlike mind in my life!

Africa update...

2011-09-13T13:19:00.001-05:00

I recieved a letter this morning from my daughter, and I think this is the best way to "update" you on my kids experience in Africa! Enjoy! I know I did!

---------------------------------------------

It’s me J

I miss you all like crazy! God has been soo good to me though, and there have only been a couple times where I’ve had that sad, miserable, longing ache to be back at home IMMEDIATELY. When I had malaria it was definitely a very tough four days. I don’t think that I’ll ever forget those days of being so, so, so sick. And not just sick, but sick and laying in a dirty mud hut in the middle of absolutely nowhere! I wouldn’t trade that time for anything, though. Because during that time God ministered to me, and I literally felt His presence stronger than I ever have in my life. He spoke to me and revealed so much to me... I don’t have enough time to explain it all by e-mail, but once I get home I will be able to tell you more about some things that happened spiritually during those four days.

This whole trip hasn’t been like a big “spiritual high”. There has been so much testing, so many challenges. There have been some reeaallly difficult days. Days when I would end up in tears at some point. Pure, raw tears from an overwhelmed heart. I think that before I left I had this expectation that this trip was going to be a little bit challenging, but that it was going to be so full of great emotional high points where God’s presence was always tangible, too. I was wrong. There have been many of those times where the Holy Spirit was so obviously near. But the majority of the time has been a testing, refining process. I have had to keep pressing on so many times when I so desperately want to give up. I have had to go without running water, electricity, a bed, sleep, etc.. I have had to deal with lots and lots of insects, animals where I’m trying to sleep, food that I am not familiar with, a language that I cannot understand. And the transportation…Oh my goodness!!! I have been in the back of a very tiny pickup, along with 25 other people! I have been in countless mini-buses with goats, chickens, plus 22 or 23 sweaty, filthy, smelly people! Yet, I am so very thankful for this! I have, at least somewhat, began to seek JESUS. Not the blessings He gives, not the fuzzy feelings He gives, not comfort, not ease, not familiarity. I have tasted and found that He alone is enough. It is a glorious freedom not to be bound by anything! I don’t need a shower every day, I don’t need American food, I don’t need a bed to sleep in, I don’t need female company. Jesus is enough, and nobody can take Him away from me! Nothing can separate me from His love and His presence.

As a white person (well…sort of white!! I have a very dark tan right now because of all the exposure I’ve had to the hot, African sun!) , I am the focus of all attention wherever I go, especially because I am a female! There aren’t really any female missionaries at all around here. I wake up in a house with three men in it. Then I go to prayer and intercession with anywhere from 10 to 20 men. Then Bible class is taught by different men, and I am the only female there. Then we will go and talk with some of the pastor’s and have lunch with five or six more men. Then we will go home and I will be cooking dinner and find out that a few men are coming over for dinner. In the villages women are not valued at all. Black women, that is. It’s so ingrained in their culture that at the church services, the men won’t even sit with their wives. White women are treated like queens. This also has an advantage. People are curious, and when I speak and teach, they listen.

Last night we went to the church service at Kalibu. It was spectacular. The worship was just incredible! It’s hard to describe, but to hear over 500 young African students joyfully, loudly, boldly praising God with everything in them...it was great. We sang and worshipped and danced and shouted and praised God for over an hour, but it seemed like less than five minutes. Pastor Mike preached, and boy does he preach with an anointing.

I sit here and try to cram everything that I’m learning and experiencing into a few paragraphs in an e-mail and it is not easy! I have tried, but I really can’t explain all that is going on, all that God is doing. At least not by e-mail.

Make sure that everyone who has supported us and is praying for us knows that we appreciate it! There have been many times where I can literally feel God’s protection and presence and I just know that it’s the result of someone’s prayer at that moment. I’ve had this happen a few times in the middle of the night when I wake up and I am filled with the assurance that someone, somewhere is praying for me. I can’t tell you how much that means at that time.

Tell everyone that A---- says hi! I miss you guys!! And I will be home very soon!!

I love you all!!!!!

~A----

Foto Friday

2011-09-09T10:44:00.001-05:00

5 months old!
Where does time go?!!
She is so fun and easy!
This morning she woke up crying but quit right away so I let her sleep.
Went in about an hour later and her leg was stuck in the crib slat and she was SOUND asleep!
She is so easy going and simply a joy to have in our home!
Just thought I would share the love!:)

Enjoy your weekend!

Update from Africa coming next week!

This is what legends are made of!

2011-09-08T11:17:00.000-05:00

I am loaded with thoughts today...

````Feeling melancholy`````

````My husband said today, that he feels like he is in Jericho and the walls are falling down on him````

````It has been a year without a job now````

````I want to encourage my husband````

````God is the only one who can fully do that right now````

````I am trusting that God knows everything about our situation and He ALWAYS provides````

````If He gave us everything we wanted at the time we wanted it, we would not have the ability to appreciate His faithfulness to it's fullest```

````When there are no answers, we have no one to trust but God````

````To have "faith of a child" means that when we get up in the morning, we know God is taking care of us````

````Why do we search for OUR ways, when we know that Gods way is best?````

````I am reminded that sending my kids to Africa came at just the right time for us to be reminded of God's provision````

````Our kids faith is built by watching us go through tough times and how we rely on God````
````If that is what it takes for my children to see Jesus, it is ALL worth it!````

````I hope I have been and will be a testimony to them in their future and now````

````I have realized the things I once thought I NEEDED were just comforts````

````I am so thankful for the things I do have````

````Amazing how when you have everything stripped away, the things that really matter become clearer````

````When you have the ability to not focus on self, you start to desire to serve other's more````

````That is where true joy begins to seep in and eventually overflows with abundance````

````Would I walk through this valley again?````

Yes, because it has been the greatest spiritual growing experience I have ever encountered

After all...

These stories are what legends are made of and the testimonies of how Jesus brought us through that can be passed down from generation to generation of how God loves and provides for His children!

I will continue to walk and not be shaken!

Turning Hearts Labor Day picnic

2011-09-06T20:52:00.000-05:00

It's a new thing, Hearts that are at home and not saturated in the world around them. Well not really new! But today in this culture, we have lost all sense of a biblical pattern in our homes. Even Christians! Inch by inch, we have suffered the lack of true bible based living. It starts with small, subtle decisions and before we know it, (or don't know it) we are so far gone, that we don't know how to get back. The scary part is, some don't even know they are living a luke-warm life. It has become the norm! (I'm one that used to be in that category!)

There is a big calling by God to bring families back to where we need to be. Well, actually, it's always been His plan to have it His way. But somewhere down the line between feminism and mega churches, we have gotten lost! But He is calling us back to live our lives totally surrendered, with NO compromise, to Christ in every area! Income, children, marriage, schooling, churching, and just plain living! No more compromise! No more just coasting through and being desensitized to the truth! Easy? NO! Where do we start? The one true thing there is left in this world, the BIBLE! What a great joy to see families surrendering their lives and making a decision to go the opposite direction of the culture and seek their heavenly Father's face!

We took part, this past Labor Day, in a beautiful display of people desiring to bring families back to truth! Hundreds of people took part! The Bates family, from Knoxville, Tennesee (friends of the Duggar family), were the guest speakers. We had hayrides, looked at cattle (we are city folk so that is an amazing thing for 7 boys!), played games, ate, and learned more about how to seek God in a world that is lost and how to bring others to this joyful way of living, family style! A life surrendered to the living God and living it out so other's see His glory! How cool is that!

Cooler than 2 city boys watching the cows do what ever they do!

Cooler than even playing football with over a hundred kids!

And believe it or not, cooler than The Bates Family with their 18 children :)

This is my little guy on the hay ride

Hangin' out on the fence watching the cows get milked

(remember, we are city people! Not sure if that is the correct wording!)

we got to touch home-grown gourds

And can't forget this sweet little thing to remind us what family is all about!

Please make sure you are Turning YOUR hearts towards Home! God will do amazing things when you step out in faith and trust Him!

Malaria...

2011-09-04T20:38:00.004-05:00

This sweet daughter of mine had quite a rough week in the villages of Africa!

We called our son to chat Friday because he would have reception and he told us she was sick and that they thought it was Malaria! YES, Malaria! "But don't worry mom, it is VERY common around here!" Yeah, sure okay son! I will just go about my business with a smile on my face and know that all will be okay! HA!

They had the immuniztation but that it is not a sure proof they would not get it! I then talked to her and she said even her bones ached. She had never felt so miserable! And then to add to the problem of being sick, she was thousands of miles and an ocean away from home! As she was laying on her "mattress" in one of the villages, 2 mice scurried across her floor and then a goat, chicken and dog entered her "home". She then decided to get up and close the "door" to get some relief! (Not quite the same as home!) Maybe some brothers and sisters to contend with, but hopefully their breath would be a touch more bearable! :)

Yes, my heart hurt terribly, when she said she wanted to come home! How she wished she could lay her head on my lap! Where does a mother go with that when there is NO possible way to even come close to being able to do that! Well, God is where I went! I asked Him to hold her, keep His eye on her, and help her to know that she is taken care of! When her tears sting her face because she wants to be in HER bed and in HER room with her head on MY lap, I asked God to PLEASE be her peace and comfort! When she is overwhelmed, remind her that there is a rock who is higher than her!

I was sure that fear thing I struggle so much with, would creep back in and rear it's ugly head! Guess what? It didn't! I continued to be reminded how He has cared for them already and His hand is upon them! I must remember that always! Oh how I LONGED to be with her and sit with her and pray over her to be healed...but God reminded me that His hands are stronger and yet even more gentle than mine and I can STILL pray for her healing! So...I did! I prayed all day that as she slept she would wake up and be able to walk and preach and do all that God had planned for her.

Well, the text I received early this morning, said, "Mom, she is almost all better! She woke up feeling strong and able to go on with all that we have planned for the day!" Just another story in their journey to Africa! God has done so much and now a testimony of healing! To Him I give glory for raising my child out of her sick bed and I am reminded that He has plans to prosper her, to give her a hope and a future!

Today, she and her brother are at a lodge on Lake Malawi. Some time to enjoy the beauty of Africa and relax after being in the villages for a week. Next week, they will be meeting with 800 and some high school kids to tell them about Jesus! Pray for them and I will share more as it comes in!

God is SO very good!

Foto Friday~ final days of summer

2011-09-02T11:10:00.000-05:00

From the temperature outside,
It feels like summer is just beginning!

That is good for some end of the summer, pool fun!

I remember being a kid and it seems like the summer went SO fast!

Nothing has changed!

Even though I am a "winter" lover,

and can't wait for it to get here,

I can't help but feel a tug at my heart that the memories we have made are now considered the past and another summer is on the brink of ending!

Sweet times with lots of things to look forward too in the coming fall!

Many new changes on our horizon as we wave good-bye to summer 2011!

Enjoy your Labor Day Weekend!

Dedicated

2011-09-01T08:07:00.000-05:00

Just as Hannah did to Samuel years and years ago,
3 weeks ago we dedicated out little bundle of sweetness back to God!
(Since my older kids left for Africa, I have truly realized the sacredness of this act to God!)

This is what I wrote to her and read a loud at her dedication:

My dear sweet child, you have been given to us by God.
You are a blessing and a true JOY!
When God brought us down this journey of allowing Him to choose our family size, we NEVER dreamed He would send 12 blessings to us!
I am SO thankful that we choose HIS plan for us.
For that reason, you are in our arms!
I know He has a perfect plan for your life and we will do all that we can to raise you up and train you in the ways of Jesus.
We give you to Him because we know you are a gift to us but not ours!
You are His!
For that I am truly thankful.
He is a perfect parent.
When we fail you, He will not!
Look to Him for everything.
He will never let you down and He will never let you go!
We love you precious girl!

Not many pictures of just mom, dad and her!

The entire gang! God is sooooo very good!

"Fear Not..."

2011-08-28T21:32:00.002-05:00

I sit here tonight amazed at the road I have been on! I cannot believe where I have come from! If you have known me or read my blog for very long, you know that I have battled fear. The kind that cripples. The kind that influenced most of my decisions in my life. Sadly to say, in a not so great way! From the time my head hits the pillow at night to the time I lift it up in the morning, fear always surrounded me. I have suffered many losses in my life in the past, maybe that is why. But for whatever reason, I lived in it. Worried of fires in the middle of night and that I would not be able to save my children, to my husband dying on the way to work! And ALL the in betweens! So for me to send my two oldest children to Africa was a miracle in itself! God started small. First it took faith to even think of them going. Then it took more faith to continue to watch them buy the tickets, to getting all of the rest of the money to go then sending them away on the plane in Chicago!   I was really strong! Until...

...I said goodbye to them as they left me at the security gate at the airport! 2 kids who had never even been IN an airport to now flying by themselves half-way around the world! How do I give up control in that way? How do I rest in the reality that I cannot take care of them? How do I REALLY give it up and let God take care of them? Is it really possible! For days, not so much! I had the fear that did not allow me to sleep at nights. The fear that had me pull over in a parking lot to cry for a bit just because I had to let it out somehow! I really felt like sometimes, I was in a dream! A night-mare really! So, at some point I knew that I had to let go! They were thousands of miles and an ocean away so what really was it doing for me to fear? AHHH, maybe just maybe, this is the point God was trying to show me my entire life! Whether it is a fire I fear, my husband being killed in a car accident, or my children half a world away, I CANNOT control it anyway, so why do I even try! It hit me hard! Then I got it! I can trust God! Not that anything bad will never happen, but even if it does, I am in His hands! I obey and have faith and He takes care of the facts! A spiritual light bulb moment! It took this long for me to get to where He has wanted me to be for years! He is God and I am not! So I no longer need to fear! I have such peace! A faith and rest that I have never known before! I said to my mom today, "I feel like I have grown up!" I used to feel like a small child scared of the dark, everyday of my life! Now, I am walking in His light and feel like with Him, ALL things are possible because HE is in charge, not me!

I talked to my daughter today and they are doing so well! They have climbed a mountain, and gone horseback riding on the African terrain. They are studying the word of God like never before and feeding others His word because of it! They will be in the villages all week this week! No comforts! A tent, no electricity, plumbing, showers, or "normal" food!  They are preaching and teaching 3 times a day to people who have no bibles because they do not have any in their language yet. People who are SO hungry for the word of God that they don't care about blessings or heaven! People who are just SO desperate to hear the words of God because they KNOW that it casts out all fear and if they can just hear it, they find comfort! My daughter said that the holy spirit is SO thick in the villages because there are no hindrances! No clocks, TV's, meal-times, toys, malls or ANYTHING that gets in the way! Villagers who are so HUNGRY to hear the word of God that they sit for as long as they can at my children's feet just to get a taste of JESUS!  My children have given up all their comforts to tell other's of Him, and God in His grace, has allowed me to "give up" my children so they can reach those who need Him! No glory in it for us, just proof of how God works in you if you allow Him to! Obedience is not easy, but ALWAYS worth it!

I am for the first time in my life, free of fear! If I can send my most valued thing on earth, to Africa and leave them in God's hands, I know I can leave EVERYTHING in God's hands! Even my husband driving to work in the mornings! (Now if he would just get a job!)  Oh yeah, I can EVEN leave that in His hands and no longer worry about that either! What freedom there is when we choose obedience over our ways!

My children's journey to Africa is almost half-way through now and this week, I will have very little contact with them, if any. So I may catch up a bit on the other things that have happened around our home! Stay with me and stay tuned! Oh and remember, do not fear anything! God has His hand over every one of our situations He is in charge! Rest in that!

Do you?

2011-08-25T10:52:00.001-05:00

Do you ever feel like this...

Some days, this is how I feel!

And then I remember who is in charge of my life!

It is not me!

God is the one who I can trust for everything!

That just makes it all okay!

Remember...

Psalm 147:3

He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds. He counts the number of the stars;

He calls them all by name!

Two weeks out...

2011-08-24T15:20:00.003-05:00

Well, we are two weeks out since my kids left for Africa! It really feels like a lifetime ago in many ways! This week was better because I have had communication with them almost daily. There is 7 hours difference so we can at least talk while the other is still awake! I actually have been doing REALLY well! Many tinges of missing them but SO much better than last week when we had no contact! They were in the bush so there was no way to get a signal. That was HARD! I was doing really well UNTIL today...

Today was hard! INCREDIBLY hard! My daughter is SO VERY homesick! It broke my heart! There is NOTHING I can do to help her! The hard part is, as she said, "There is nothing to do to even help me feel like I am home! I am in a 3rd world country mom! Not even a mall or a Walmart to go to!" AND to make it worse, she said it is not like America where you can FIND something to do! After their classes are over at around 3pm, they really just go to their host-home and read or something quiet! Which is not all bad, just different! She misses her brothers and sisters, making meals for everyone and all the things she does at home! EVEN chores! :) With that being said, she said today was the worst day she has had so far with being homesick but she knows she will make it through and she is really enjoying the school and the villages and her time with the people! I told her to enjoy her time there because in a few months, she will regret not taking it all in! (EASY for me to say!) I just feel like she is having to grow up so fast! I also know that God is there with her and He will hold her up!

They will return to the villages on Monday and will be out for an ENTIRE week! No electricity, plumbing, "normal" food or home! A tent and blankets! The last village they were in, my son killed a goat with a knife, (because the villagers insisted! It was an honor to be selected!) and then they ate the stomach, intestines, eye-balls, and everything in between! My daughter, who HATES bugs, noodles and looking at raw meat, ate it also! I was so amazed! They are my heroes! I don't think I could do all the things they are doing! They are so brave! They said that the interpreters that are with them, are amazed that they STAY in the villages! Most missionaries that come, just stay for a few hours and then choose to go back to their hotels to sleep and eat! They were shocked! My daughter said that she can't imagine really REACHING these people without being there to live their life even for for a short time! She said we in America, are just so used to comforts that we just don't get anything about life! She was not angry about that, it was just a realization! My son is taking everything all in and even chased a giraffe the other day!

(He is very adventurous! :) The people in Malawi are so amazed at "white skinned" people that the native kids will yell with fun and point at them as they walk by. He said that is VERY strange! The other thing that is very strange, is their bus they commute to school in. It is a 12 passenger bus but has at LEAST 18 people in it every morning and double that in chickens! Pictures of that coming soon!

I am going to close now...so much I could write! The sleepless nights are endless, the ache in my heart to hold them and see there faces is SO deep! God has still been showing me how His heart longs for us in that way! I know God is holding them but I want to hold them SO bad! I can't imagine what it will be like at the airport when they step off that plane! Maybe a touch of what it will feel like when Jesus sees my face in heaven some day! Just as my daughter is longing for her home in America, we should be longing for heaven! This earth is NOT our home! Someday, I won't send my kids to Africa or out into the big world!

We will all be sitting at Jesus feet and hopefully with these people they are witnessing to in Malawi! That is our focus! This time on earth is only a vapor in the wind and what we do with our time on earth DOES matter in eternity! What an awesome thought!

Love your kids today as if they are leaving for Africa tomorrow! Oh how I wish I could hold mine!

Pictures from Africa

2011-08-22T15:59:00.003-05:00

I heard from the kids and even got pictures! OH YEAH! They are doing really well and they have already been changed in the past 10 days, from the inside out!! I can't imagine what they will be like in 4 weeks! They left me as teenagers and will come home adults! They said they feel as if they are in a movie! The surroundings are so "unreal" and the people are INCREDIBLE!! The people in the villages have so much respect for "white man". A reverence like they are king and queen or something of the kind! My daughter cannot get over it. She said it is very uncomfortable to be so honored just because of her skin color!

She was preaching in one of villages over the weekend, and she tried to sit down on a rock and they would not let her! They hurried over with a chair for her because they think of "white man" as such much higher than them and they cannot sit on the ground!! She said it was so sad! Her sermon was on being the same in God's eyes because He looks at the heart, not skin color or anything else we look at as humans. The women of the villages are also treated so much more inferior. Do you see how all the men are in front on chairs, and the women and babes are in the back on the floor? It is so very poor there. Most of the pastors do not even have bibles! When she reads from her bible, they have a hunger in their eyes like she has never seen before! They anticipate and savor every word she reads because they cling to every word from God because they can't read it for themselves!

This is a little girl named Naomi that got very attached to my daughter. As she was holding her, the mother was scurrying around and the interpreter told her that she was feeling terrible because she was holding her little girl and she was not worthy to have a "white man" hold her child! My daughter was so shocked at how they feel and was just heart-broke that they feel that way! They need to know the love of Jesus and it would set them free!

This was the village they were in over the weekend! They said they hunger for God so much. They don't desire money, or even heaven! They only want to hear the Word of God and learn about Him. The only blessing they seek is the Holy Spirit! We in America just don't get it! The comforts get in our way of true surrender and holiness!

I am so blessed to have been able to talk to them today! My son has come down with something and hoping it is not Malaria! Right now, treating it as food poisoning but he came down with a fever now. (That means another restless night of sleep for all of us!) :( Prayers for him would be appreciated!

I will report back soon!

Remember~ Love your kids today, like you are sending them to Africa tomorrow!

Foto Friday

2011-08-19T08:12:00.001-05:00

A day on the ~~farm~~,
or the fair if you are a city dweller!

picking veggies,

Gathering corn,

filling the tractor with fuel,

Off to work!

In a little boys world anyway!

P.S. I will have an update from Malawi next week! I sat down to write yesterday, and after I finished my post and was in the process of editing it, and I somehow deleted the ENTIRE thing! So just to get back at my computer, I decided not to use it the rest of the day! :) To make a long story short, my kids called the day I was at the fair and my husband was home and got to talk to them for a LONG time! I did not even get to hear them for a moment! I was very sad to say the least! I know that as of Thursday, they were headed to the bush to tell other's of Jesus in the villages! No plumbing or electricity for many days and sleeping in a tent with who knows what kind of animals lurking around! Ok, that's enough for this mama's heart to take right now!

More to come! Blessings to you this weekend!

Remember~ Love your kids today as if they are leaving for Africa tomorrow!

Waiting...

2011-08-15T16:50:00.001-05:00

I think of another little taste of how God feels when we come to Him first thing in the morning! He waits for us and longs to hear from us! I get up every morning and check my messages just to see if my kids have left somthing for me to read! I long for it and smile and cry when it is there and I have evidence that they are thinking of me! It has been such a sweet discovery while missing my earthy children, how God has shown me His desire to be with me!

Here is the latest from my kids: ( I do not include their names for privacy reasons)

Hi mom!!!! This is A...!! I'm having a great time! I LOVE Malawi!! I'm having so much fun, and experiencing soo much!! Today we went to an amazing church service. Probably the best I"ve ever been to in my life!! It was GREAT!! Last night I slept for about 6 hours, and it feels sooo good!! My allergies are bad here :P I'm so glad that we took the allergy medication for A......'s poison ivy, because it's really coming in handy!! Well I don't have any more time left on here, so here's A......!! I love you!!!!!!!!! I miss you!!! (my son): Im out of time :( its prepaid internet. I love you and miss you!!

It is such a JOY to hear from them! They seem to be doing wonderful! That does a mama's heart good! I still have SO many questions for them! I want to know what they are eating, where they are sleeping and what they are doing. Maybe as my husband told me, it is better that their contact is limited because God can maybe accomplish more in their hearts if He is their main source of dependancy! And maybe even better for me! I have only had my faith in Jesus to take care of them and rest in His ability even when I don't have any facts. To watch over them, feed them, protect them is HIS job! I cannot, but He can! I have realized He does a better job than I could ever do anyway! So although I miss them terribly and everytime the phone rings, I am like a girl in love dashing to the phone just to hear their voices, usually to feel that pit in stomach sort of feel, when I find out it is not them calling! It has been 5 days since I have heard their sweet voices! I wonder how much longer it will be! God knows and in His timing, they will call! Until then, I will wait! And you can be sure you will know when that is! You may even hear me answer the phone from where you live from all the excitement! :)

Remember~ Love your kids today, like they are leaving for Africa tomorrow!

More to come...

Facts about Malawi, Africa

2011-08-14T15:53:00.004-05:00

Here are some facts about the country in Africa my children are
in, Malawi:

~This is what the flag looks like
~Just over 13 million people live in Malawi
~ Life expectancy is around 36 years
~ Birth rate is on average 5.9 per woman
~ 14% of the population is believed to have HIV/AIDS
~ Literacy rate is just over 62%
~ The official language is Chichewa but there is no written way to learn or teach it unless you are there to study it
~The economy is predominately agricultural, with about 90% of the population living in rural areas

~It is the 7th poorest country in the world
~It is the poorest country in Africa
~750,000 are orphans

~48% of children in Malawi are chronically malnourished
~One in four children die before the age of five
~7% of the population have electricity
~It is called the "Warm Heart of Africa" because of the gentleness and kindness of the people
~It is slightly smaller than Pennsylvania
~The capitol is Lilongwe

~Lake Malawi is known to be the most beautiful lake in the world
~My kids will be visiting there some point in their trip
~Here is just a taste of the beauty:

My kids better be taking pictures of all they are doing and seeing!

Stay tuned...

In Malawi...

2011-08-13T08:28:00.003-05:00

I got the phone call yesterday I had been waiting for! The call informing me that my children arrived in Malawi, Africa safe and sound! The sound of my son's voice as he said, "mom!" has never sounded so sweet! I wonder if that is how God feels when I call out to Him?

They arrived in Africa about 8:00 am central time, 3:00 pm Malawi time. My son said their stay in Johannesburg was great. The lady they stayed with was very nice and they had comfortable beds and great showers! He slept very well! My daughter, not as well. She informed me there were dogs barking and running around all night! And some kind of strange sound like a weird bird cawing all night long! Fun listening to the different perspectives! I am sure that will be the norm for the next reports I recieve from them! :) We only had about 2 minutes to talk but it comforted me just to hear their voices!

My heart is still sad. I just miss them so much! (I told my husband I need to start a support group for parents whose children are traveling out of the country!) :) I am so glad for their ability to go and tell other's about Jesus and I pray for an annointing over them and also that they will be surrounded by protection from God. I can't wait to hear from them again! It is amazing how I wait and cling to any kind of communication from them! I really am understanding more, how God desires me to communicate with Him! I am His child and He longs to hear from me daily! And the joy that it brings Him just because I take the time to be with him. Yes, God is using this time away from my children to draw me closer to Him.

More to come when I hear from them again or when I just need to "unload" my heart! Soon!

Remember~ Love your kids today, like they are leaving for Africa tomorrow!

A close up view of Malawi. They are in Blantyre:

This is the view of Africa with Malawi north of Tanzania.

2011-08-11T16:02:00.000-05:00

This is the websight that you can go to so that you can see where our kids are ministering at. I will be updating soon!

http://kalibu.com/

They are on a jet plane!

2011-08-11T09:41:00.001-05:00

Well, the day finally came. Yesterday, we said "good-bye" for 6 weeks to my oldest 2 kids. They are now as I type this over the Atlantic Ocean. I was very strong when we left them at the security gate. (Thankful for that!) But once we got to the car and it was empty, the tears started flowing...and flowing...and flowing. I really cannot explain how I was feeling. I cried the ENTIRE way home from Chicago! It was like the reverse of being homesick. I can honestly say, that it has been the hardest thing I have EVER had to do in my life! I was beginning to feel better and kept asking God over and over. "God, please give me peace, PLEASE give me peace, because I am not feeling it right now!" I got on my phone a few minutes later and the family they will be staying with, messaged me and said he was excited for their arrival. That helped me so much! Just knowing that he was looking for them. God knew exactly how to calm me!

My spirit understands that they are going to be doing God's work and bring other's the light of Him, but right now, my heart aches with an intensity that is so foreign to me! I just want one more glance and one more hug. However, I know that even with one more, it would never be enough!

My daughter and I had an INCREDIBLE talk the night before they left and stayed up talking, crying, and praying. We told each other of our regrets, God's provision in our lives, and then our fears. We shared scripture with each other and just took it all in! It was beautiful! We gave each other our word that when she returned, we would continue to do that! We waste so much time on things that don't really matter. So much wasted energy in our lives that are used for things that have no eternal value! We had an awareness that God was already in the process of changing us before she even left!

They will be arriving in South Africa today around 11 am central time zone. I can't wait to hear from them! God worked out such an amazing thing. They were going to have to stay in a hotel tonight by THEMSELVES before they catch their plane for their final destination. That was the hardest part for all of us. We made hotel reservations and my husband called the American Embassy to let them know there would be 2 teens staying there just to cover all of our bases! Well, Monday with still an unsettled feeling of them being there all alone, A friend of ours from America told us they knew of a family that would host them overnight in South Africa! We were so very relieved! All that we were fearing, God took care of! Imagine that! It was such a confirmation that we don't need to know all the facts from the beginning, we just need faith to make the first step and God will take care of the rest! Obedience is the key!

These next few weeks will be a mother's heart as her children are in Africa. I will be sharing MY heart. Some days will be uplifting and some may be sad but I am going to pour my heart out on this blog! I will also post when I hear from my kids and use that also. I have so much emotion that it overwhelming. Writing will help me and I would love to have you along on our journey! Any uplifting things you could comment, would be welcomed as this mama's heart is going to miss them and the encouragement of other's will be wonderful!!

Please remember to love your kids today, as if you are sending them to Africa tomorrow!

More to come...

In between Africa...

2011-08-07T21:37:00.001-05:00

I said earlier today to my husband that I really wish I would learn to live each day as if my kids were leaving for Africa! I am more sensitive to being with them, spending time with them and leaving the other cares of the day for another day! I realize that soon,(WAY to soon!), they will be thousands of miles away and I will LONG to see their faces. So I have been staring at them more, hugging them more and taking TONS of pictures of them with their siblings! Do I fear them dying? Maybe... It is a thought sometimes! But it does not take going to Africa to think of that! :) However, the real reason behind it is that I realize all of our lives are about to change DRAMATICALLY! They will "grow" up in ways that I will not totally understand until they return, and me?! Well, I will be "growing" up also! The mommy way kind! It happens to every mom so I know I am not alone with some of the feelings I have been feeling but it is not easy! This is where my faith in God comes in! I cannot be there for them in the next 6 weeks! I can't just pick up the phone when I want to hear their voices or when I panic for a moment and fear the worst! Nope! I have to turn to Jesus! Nights when I am wondering if they are warm, homesick, scared or anxious? I can't do anything about it! I can't GIVE them my reassurance that it will be okay! They will be in a tent in the bush in Africa! That is hard for me to swallow! I want so much to take it all away and comfort them! That is what a mommy is supposed to do! The great thing is, that I know God will be there with them! And He is better then I ever could be anyway! I said today through my tears, "God, you must think I am LOTS stronger than I think I am! I can't do this! It is just tooooo hard!" And I'm right! I can't do this...without HIM! But He says I CAN do this if I depend on Him!

Today, we dedicated our newest little one back to God. (I will have pictures soon! ) We wanted to do it before the trip to Africa so we could experience one last memorable thing as a family for a while! I did this years ago with my oldest two. I realized at that time, that were His! And I meant it! I told God that whatever He had for them, I would, through His guiding hand, allow Him to have His way in their lives! Easy when they are a baby laying in your arms dependent on you for their every need! Not so easy, when you are watching them leave to a country thousands miles away without YOU! I still am amazed that I have had the strength to even come this far and because of Him walking with me, I will not go back on my commitment to Him! I am allowing them to leave me for a time, so God can use them on the other side of the world to show other's His love! Abraham was willing to allow God to do whatever He choose with Isaac! Even death! WOW! That is obedience! I bet Abraham took the long way around to the alter that day! I bet he stared at Isaac, hugged him and just took every moment he had appreciating and loving his son as he walked to that alter! Now, I am not saying my children will die, but 6 weeks seems like a long time to us! And God spared Isaac and it was a test to see how obedient Abraham was. So maybe this is a test! And whoever God chooses to put in my children's path in the coming weeks, will get a glimpse of who God is and they will be forever changed! Maybe the test is to see how willing we are to allow others to see who He is! Will we just live in the comfort of what we are used to or will we be willing to stretch and sacrifice? Time is getting closer and God has MANY people He desires to have in heaven with Him. Are we willing to lay it all down for His name? This life on earth is temporary. A vapor in the wind! But eternity is well...eternal!

So for the next couple of days, I will laugh more, cry more, and savor more. But the reality is, that whatever happens and wherever my children are, God is with them AND with me! So how could I worry or fear! He loves them more than I do!

Today, please give more hugs, look into your loved ones eyes, stare at them and just take it all in!

Live today like you are sending them to Africa! :)

Africa update...kind of

2011-08-06T17:57:00.000-05:00

They are not leaving until Wednesday. I have been, shall we say very BUSY! Our biggest challenge right now is packing a teenage girl for 6 weeks with ONE suitcase (that can only weigh 44lbs!) and ONE carry on! Oh MY! I am going to update soon but first things first! That would be getting them prepared to leave! Please stay tuned! I will have pics from the day of take-off and the rest of the story!

Our baby is being dedicated tomorrow morning so we are busy with that also! The last thing we will be doing as a family for 6 weeks! When you homeschool, that is a rude awakening when you are used to being together, for the most part, 24/7! Please continue to pray for us as we prepare for this new adventure in our lives!

Journey to Africa~part 2

2011-07-29T13:20:00.000-05:00

The next part of the journey went something like this:

God so much wanted my children to have this experience that He did not even wait for ME to pray for my heart to change, He just let me know that I NEEDED to trust Him! Maybe because He knew that would even be hard to do at that point! :) WOW! He does know me better than I know myself!

Now, on to talking to dad! My daughter presented the possible opportunity of going to Africa to him without knowing much detail. He said we would discuss it and pray and if it was God, it would work out. After weeks of my husband praying and us talking about it and him knowing I had given it to God and that I totally surrendered the decision to God and him, he said he really could not let her go alone. So we decided to tell her probably another time when she was older or when she could go with somebody else. She handled it very well and I told her that if God wanted her to go, He would find a way and if not this year, He would give her the opportunity sometime!

About 2 days passed and without talking to our oldest son about anything except the possibility of his sister going to Africa, he came to us one evening and said if it be possible, he would like to maybe go with her if we thought that would work. (Remember, we NEVER mentioned to him dad's decision to not let her go because he did not want her to go alone!)

My husband and I were very excited! I began to see the possibility that NOW she could go and it could potentially change his decision for her not to go because of our oldest son desiring to go! My husband continued to pray and we talked some more with the kids. The decision was made that if they could raise the money, they could go! Amazing how God works! My daughter never gave in and kept praying that if it be possible, God would make a way! She NEVER imagined He would work in her brother's heart to go! (We never even considered that idea either!)

*A side note I would like to add is that when my oldest son was 6 years old, after he asked Jesus into his heart, he came to me one afternoon and told me he had a dream. In his dream, he was delivering bibles in a semi-truck to Africa and handing them out to the African people!

I can honestly say, that I never DOUBTED he would go there someday, but I DID NOT think it would happen this way! God also called my daughter to the mission field when she was a small child. She has always had a heart for missions and has known God was calling her to the mission field for years! In preparation for that, she taught herself a second language just in case! I always knew and have prayed that God would give me the ability to let her go when it was necessary. (I did not know it would be asked of me so soon!) But He has been so wonderful at providing me with His peace that passes ALL understanding! To me THAT was this biggest hurdle! If you know me at all, I tend to worry just a TAD (Okay, BIG tad!) to much! God reminded me one day when I was seeing all of this come to be, I started to worry and think of things that might happen. God gently spoke to my heart this, "Remember, they are not YOUR children anyway! I have just given them to you to raise! They are mine! I will take care of them!" (Oh yeah! I had forgotten that part!)

In the past 7 weeks, God has done the impossible in some people's eyes, and has helped our children raise over $6000! His plan is perfect! With God ALL things are possible! Even giving a mother of 12, the peace that she needs to send her oldest 2 children a world away to share with others, the gospel of Jesus Christ!

Onto the rest of the 'Journey to Africa' in Part 3! Stay tuned!

Journey to Africa~ Part 1

2011-07-28T09:34:00.001-05:00

The past week has been a week of many thoughts and just plain "mind" busyness! I have SO much going on that sometimes I just sit and let them sift through my heart. I have lost many hours of sleep with them all! HOWEVER, it has been a time of prayer and dependency on my Savior like I have never known before! He has drawn closer and closer to me because I have been laying it all at His feet and have actually LEFT it there instead of trying to take it back! WOW, it works!

As you will find after reading this post, our family is going to go down a treck we have never tread before! Please pray for us in the coming weeks! Although THRILLED with an opportunity of a lifetime, our minds can overtake us with fear and dread of the unknown! Now, for the "scattered" thoughts of my mind!

In less that 2 weeks, my oldest son and daughter will be leaving their predictable, comfortable home in America. They are going on a journey that we NEVER thought possible! They will be headed to Malawi, Africa! Not with mom and dad, grandparents or ANYONE else that we "know" per-say! My home-educated, "sheltered" teenagers, will be going this alone! Neither of them have ever been in an airport, and only traveled to the south (In america that is!)! We are being stretched and the rubberband will only continue to stretch further until they return home 6 weeks later!

How did this all start and come to be? Well, it started with mom (that would be me) saying in a VERY firm, matter of fact sort of way to my 15 year old daughter, "NO WAY ARE YOU EVEN GOING TO THINK OF GOING TO AFRICA NEXT YEAR! YOU WILL ONLY BE 16 YEARS OLD! IF YOU THINK I WOULD ALLOW YOU TO DO THAT, YOU ARE WRONG! I WOULD NEVER LET YOU DO THAT! MAYBE WHEN YOU ARE 18 OR 19 (OR 30) YOU CAN COME AND TALK TO ME ABOUT IT AGAIN, BUT FOR NOW, NO WAY!"

Well, needless to say, my daughter is 16 and the plane tickets are bought and she is going to be headed to Africa on August 9th. It's not that I gave into begging from her or anything of the sort! In fact she never said another word about it after I layed my foot down. HOWEVER, God got a hold of my heart. I was folding clothes about 2 hours later chatting to myself about how she even THOUGHT I would consider sending my child away, and then He gently spoke to me in that "daddy" sort of way... "Do you really want to stop MY plan just because of your fears or will you listen to MY ways and rest in Me!" And that is when everything changed! I asked my daughter to come with me to talk to dad about it and the journey of God's perfect provision began...

Stay tuned to part 2!

Keeping my word...

2011-07-27T12:39:00.000-05:00

Okay, so yesterday I put up a picture of my BEAUTIFUL baby,

(because I'm nice like that)...

... in hopes that you would come back for more pictures of

our wonderful day at the lake!

SO because I am a woman of my word, here they are! Just sit back and pretend you are there!

I will warn you, don't relax to much because the heat index was 105!

Think of a nice cool breeze and pretend your feet are dangeling in the water! That should help keep you cool while you enjoy a day at the beach with us...

Waiting anxiously (NOT) for the boat...

The boat arrives

The pitter patter of feet running to catch a ride

looking for the "okay" from dad to go

just plain sweetness enjoying her day in at the lake

Keeping cool the ONLY way

Scooping...

hanging...

dumping...

filling...

floating...

being boys!

Dad watching

looking for the boat to return

Waiting for the boat to come back and pick up the tuber!

Safely back!

Just enjoying the ride with daddy!

Doesn't he just make you smile!

Big brother and little brother

Getting sleepy!

Getting ready for the ride!

And they're off!

A last dip in the lake...

Oh what a day at the lake!

Now for some down time!

More to come!

2011-07-26T19:41:00.000-05:00

We went to the lake today and I have some GREAT pics to show you

However...

I had to entice you a touch by this picture of our little one enjoying her first day out on the beach!

Stay tuned for more...

What we have been up to...

2011-07-23T15:54:00.000-05:00

I have given up some things and blogging has been one of them, if you have not noticed! Really I have not GIVEN it up, just put it on the "back burner" for the summer! But I thought I would share some things we have been up to lately:

Holding rabbits...

Holding baby sister...

Holding head up now...

Even tried, for a couple days, holding food down!

Poking eyes out...(not intentionally)

Going out to a 'Bright Lights' conference with many girls...

Girls playing games in a hotel room...

Listening to other girls play music and living pure lives for Christ...

Watching and listening to God's plan on how to give your young life to Christ and live in purity...

And looking and this little example of purity...

Babies holding baby bunnies...

Daddy pushing his 3 yr old down a waterslide...

Keeping cool...(not real easy right now!)

But enjoying it at the water park...

Even stopping for mom so she can get a picture...

And last but not least...

Celebrating MANY summer Birthday's!

Hope you are enjoying the summer and staying cool!

Yes, if you know anything about me,

I am ready for winter! :)

Used not use!

2011-07-06T11:31:00.001-05:00

Have you ever had times where your spirit just wept!

God has sent our family to spiritual "boot camp" and WOW has it been rough on our flesh! We have kept moving forward and muddled through, however! We had some issues that kept rearing it's ugly head and my husband began to realize that we had to get rid of it once and for ALL! It started way before our revival week at church and then God used that week to encourage us and give us wisdom. The past couple of weeks have been an adjustment to all that we have taken in! Things have changed SO much in our home. They are not perfect by any means! We have 14 people under the same roof with all kinds of attitudes and personalities but the joy and love that the enemy was trying to zap us from is back! Really it is not BACK, it is THERE! It is different! More genuine, from within! The kind that only God can give!

So back to my first sentence! Earlier this week, I had a day where I just had a mourning in my heart. The kind I could not explain. I sobbed, prayed, read my bible to get through the intensity. Not PMS, not the "woman" kind of crying. Something from deep within! I have had it before but not this intense. I began to ask God what He was trying to tell me and show me. I can say that I am still not totally sure but something He did make clear was that His heart hurts deeply for His children! They wander around with confusion and pain! He wants USE his children, not be USED by them. So I began to examine MY heart! Do I go to Him when I need something and then leave and do my own thing when I do or don't get my way? Or am I there right along side Him constantly even when I don't like what is going on around me? Do I live for today as His word says or am I living with the questions daily, "What if I...? Or "If only I..." God revealed to me, if I am being His hands and His feet everyday, then I don't need to look ahead or think back! He has something for me and all of His children for TODAY! A simple smile to give, a kiss on a cheek to my child, a choice of giving grace instead of what somebody deserves! That is how we can be USED by Him! So I have been asking A LOT lately how I can be used so that I will be HIS hands and HIS feet!

I don't want to ever USE or abuse the grace and mercy He has given so freely! I desire so much for my children to understand that! I pray they see Him in me and that they know God is their Abba Father! (Daddy!) There is nothing He desires more than to care for us soak up His love! Let Him do that for you TODAY! He wants to take away the confusion and pain! He has that ability! Just let Him in and call upon Him! He cares for you!

Happy 4th of July!

2011-07-04T13:18:00.002-05:00

Jesus on the 4th of July

We gather ‘round to celebrate
On Independence Day
Pay homage to our country
As the children run and play.

With barbecues and picnics
And fireworks in the air
The flag we own is proudly flown
To show how much we care.

The stars and stripes spell freedom
She waves upon the breeze
While bursts of colors can be seen
Above the towering trees.

This is all quite wonderful
We revel in delight
But God above in divine love
Has brought this day to light.

With just a stroke of liberty
A touch of His great hand
He gave democracy to us
And helped this country stand.

The stripes upon our stately flag
Were touched by His sweet grace
Each star of white that shines so bright
Reflects His loving face.

So as you turn to face the flag
For battles that were fought
Be filled with pride for those who died
And freedoms that were bought.

But don’t forget to thank the One
That gives the bright display
The reason why we paint the sky
On Independence Day

Copyright © Marilyn Ferguson 2003