I must boast...

A few months ago at the age of 16, my oldest, missionary hearted (is that a real word?), daughter, wrote an essay.  It was written for a chance to win a full ride scholarship to our local community college.  I had full confidence in her (and God) that she would win.  ( I have homeschooled her since she was born and KNEW of her abilities!)  She was not quite as sure!  Welllll....we found out last week she WON!

She had pretty much decided she would wait and see what God was going to do in her life in the coming year, and search out some possible mission opportunities in South America for the time being.  She wants to go to medical school for missionary work so it was a dream of hers to at some point to go to college and with one phone call, the situation took that turn! 

We are THRILLED with the opportunity that she has and the doors this may open for her ministry now and in the future.  I thought you all might like to read the essay she wrote!  I had to boost a little bit because we are SOOOOOOOO very, very proud!  Her trip that she took a year ago August 10th, is being used by God in SO may ways!  It is fun to watch what He is doing in her life!

Enjoy!

The topic was: Tell us of a time you woke up in a funk, feeling down. How did you react and what did you do to work yourself out of it?

 My daughter's submission-

This morning I woke up feeling a little down. Last night I fell asleep with only a grass mat between me and the floor of this mud hut.  Secluded and alone are words that help me describe how it feels to be in a Malawi village, hundreds of miles away from any First World luxuries such as electricity and running water. It is well beyond 100 degrees outside, and the hot African sun is not yet at its strongest. I pull my mosquito net away from me. It has been covering me all night to keep the insects away, decreasing my chances of getting malaria or another illness while I sleep.

I remember the visitors I had last night; a dog, rat, and hen laying an egg in the corner of the hut. Too tired to get up and shoo them away, I sigh and begin to relax and ponder the events of these past few weeks. In the background is the steady, resounding, rhythmic beat of bass drums complimented by the low murmur of tribal chanting. As the music echoes in my ears I start to miss my home, family, and everything familiar about my life back in Iowa. I remember the feelings of anticipation and excitement when I boarded that first plane, thus beginning over three days and ten thousand miles worth of airports, flight time, and layovers. Followed by exhaustion, jet lag, unfamiliar languages, peculiar food, and strange customs. Before I drift off to sleep, I think about the time when I found out that there are currently more than 40.5 million orphans in Africa. It was simply a statistic to me, until… I met one. Witnessing child after child with no choice but to drink filthy, bacteria-ridden water made this issue become real for me. When I was first told the percentage of Malawians affected by HIV/AIDS, malaria, and other diseases it was staggering. And then I met them, one at a time. I heard their stories, and witnessed the desperation.

Now, I no longer see a number. I see faces in my mind. Finally I fall sleep.  Several hours later I am the last to awake.  Still not used to such early hours and waking up as the sun rises.  My stomach grumbles, and I don’t have to wonder what I’ll be eating for breakfast, lunch, or dinner. I will be eating nsema, just like every other day for the past month. Nsema is simply ground maize flour added to boiled water and eaten raw while still steaming hot which, to this foreigner, tastes only a little worse than raw pizza dough. After breakfast the curious village children crowd around me. They are filthy, covered in red dirt. Patiently and eagerly waiting for the strange “azungu” to come play games with them and spend another day together. I see their tattered clothes. Observing the lack of possessions makes it so easy to feel sorry for them. Yet in countless ways I notice all the reasons that I should envy instead of pity them. I envy their young, humble maturity. Their quiet resilience and indomitable spirits, their understanding of value and importance; they emphasize people, family, perseverance, gratitude and hard work rather than success, fame, or greed. They teach me, even though I came to teach them.

The translator comes to talk to me about the schedule. He informs me that today there are long and exhausting mountain trails to be hiked, several secluded villages to visit, and so much work to be done.  I am already tired, sore, and feeling down. Even as I list these things you may think that I am complaining, but I am not. Because each time I am tempted to complain or have a pity party, all it takes to work myself out of this funk, is to silently take a moment to remember why I am here. I am here because after a brutally long day, I so look forward to that inviting grass mat in that mud hut, followed by all those animal visitors. The African sun can be hot, oppressive, and even miserable at times but the sunsets are amazing, the contrasting colors are spectacular and never fail to take my breath away. I don’t need electricity, air conditioning, a comfortable mattress, internet access, or even a hot shower and running water after all. These things are nice, but no longer vital.

The nsema is not like the American food I have grown accustomed to, but I watch as it is lovingly prepared and served, I realize the privilege I have been given to join these people for a meal at their home. For them it is a sign of respect and a generous display of honor and hospitality. The dirt covered children may be impoverished by most standards, yet they possess such wealth of character, integrity, and joy. They teach me so much, as they brighten each day with their abundance of smiles and unreserved affection. Those mountains are tiring and difficult to climb, leaving me not just with aching muscles, but also a sense of pride and accomplishment. The villages are beautiful, inspiring and diverse. It is hard work yet unquestionably fulfilling.  As I am excitedly greeted by the remote village near the top of the mountain, I shake countless hands and talk and greet them for as long as my limited Chichewa vocabulary allows. I realize that words are no longer quite as important. I reach out for another hand, and look into the gentle, grateful eyes of an old woman. Several children come up to touch my arm, curious to see if the “white” will rub off if they touch it. Teenagers cautiously observe. I can’t help but smile. Universal and understood in every language, today my smile testifies that good days and bad days are often quite simply a matter of perspective.

Courageous Faith

Last week, my daughter and I spoke and the title to our talk was "Courageous Faith".  I would like to share a little bit what our talk was about. 

 As we prepared for the night, it kept coming back to me how it is ALWAYS courageous to have faith!  It is not easy to be "courageous" but essential if you are going to believe in something that you have no apparent proof of right from the get go! 

Such was our Journey to Africa!  My daughter and I had similar experiences with "Courageous Faith" just different circumstances surrounded us. The definition of courageous is:  quality of being brave: the ability to face danger, difficulty, uncertainty, or pain without being overcome by fear or being deflected from a chosen course of action (Bing dictionary).

 The definition of faith is:  belief or trust: belief in, devotion to, or trust in somebody or something, especially without logical proof  (Bing Dictionary). 

 No doubt, we were in need of both of those!  For me, sending my daughter a world away at the age of 16, and for her, going a world away!  Before that, really never being apart from her family her entire life!   We have both discussed that we are glad we did not know what we were really in for! 

We have realized that God gives the amount of faith you need little by little to get where He wants us to be!  TOTAL faith in Him! 

The day she left, we were both like scared, cowardly baby birds that really had not tried to fly out of the nest yet!  She was thrown into a world of Independence and chaos and I was thrown into a world of loneliness, fear, and desperation for HER!  Somehow the same and yet so totally different!  We still required the same thing, 'Courageous Faith' in the only one who could supply our needs.  I could not look to ANYONE but God to keep her and sustain her, and she did not have me to protect her and direct her!  We BOTH had to call on the same Heavenly Father we know so well! 

Her time with Malaria was a time of faith growth for both of us.  The phone call that I received informing me of her illness, left me feeling more helpless than I had EVER felt in my life!  Even in childbirth, you have people around to help you even though you are the only one who can actually "birth" the baby!  All I wanted to do was stroke her hair, find a way to bring her fever down, lay my hands on her and pray.  Not possible!  She wanted to lay her head on my lap, ask me for a drink of water and for me to place another blanket on her shivering body.  Not possible!  So where do you go?!  The only place we had!  Once again, our Heavenly Father!  I cried out for HOURS for her healing!  For God to comfort her and somehow be for her what she wanted me to be for her.  To take away her fear and calm her anxious heart.  She, as best as she could, asked God to bring peace to her heart and be all that she needed.  She needed Him to be her strength while she was weak.  The next morning, she woke up out of her sick bed, and walked to villages and was for the most part, all better.  She lacked a little strength physically but within a day, that was fully back also!  God was MORE than I could have been for her and He was more than I could be for me! 

My fears slowly began to fade as I continued to walk this 'Courageous Faith' journey.  Each week, I worried less until all the sudden, I worried no more!  My daughter stepped out everyday not knowing if she would make it through the day!  The physical challenges alone, was somewhere she had never been before!  The safety issues, well...neither of us like to go there!  However, surrounded by strangers who could not understand her day in and day out, something inside of her rose up!  She became able to trust that although nobody around her could promise her total safety, her earthly father was no where to be found, but her Heavenly Father was EVERYWHERE!  We both continued to see that our only possible way to not only SURVIVE but THRIVE was found in the trust that our loving God would supply our EVERY need!

As we look back, it was almost 3 months ago that we met at the airport again after the 6 week journey.  The unity we talk about in "Courageous Faith" is simply amazing!  The testimony of God's faithfulness on both of our parts, puts us in awe!  We both began to understand what it truly means to have Jesus as our one and only!  He put us BOTH in a place where He was all we had!  Now, we both find ourselves in sadness sometimes, because we see that "comforts" of this culture can make us less dependant on Him.  We are looking to Him to take us to a deeper place and to realize that He IS all we need ALL the time!  As we lose our home in 5 short weeks, and really no plan as of yet, where we will lay our heads, we are reminded once again, that He is all we have!  I am so glad that He chose to bring us through our Journey to Africa so we could little by little, day by day, and week by week, see His faithfulness!  Now, although our lives our going to drastically change, He has supplied us with that "Courageous Faith" that we will need to carry on! 

Thriving NOT striving!  Only one way that is possible!  "Courageous Faith" in our all knowing God!

You can say a prayer!

Tonight my amazing, incredible, spiritual daughter and I will be speaking at a women's gathering.  It will be about 'Courageous Faith'.  We will be sharing about her trip to Africa and my expericence as a mother while she was there.  I am so looking forward to sharing how incredibly God's grace and mercy reaches down to the most fearful, anxious mom!  :)  Our deepest desire is to show other women and teens how God is so faithful when we just depend solely on Him.  If He can reach this mama who used to walk CONSTANTLY in fear, and set me free, the He can do it for anyone!

We would appreciate your prayers today as we travel and share God's glory tonight! 

Thank you!  Update will follow!

Journey to Africa ~ Part 3

I felt so small!  So dependant on this God that I thought I knew so well.  That's the thing about African village life!  It will shatter every ignorant assumption your have ever made.  Sooner or later, you will be forced to think.  I realized how little I actually knew. How inadequate I was in comparison to how proud I was previously.  I was learning that brokenness and humility are not optional.  If my desire is to know God and to be used for His glory, the only way that will happen is if I crucify my self and choose the path of brokenness and humility.  Village life was simple.  Wake up to a beautiful sunrise, go bathe (with a small bucket of unclear water in an enclosed grass square area for privacy) and eat breakfast. Hike for an hour, two, or three, maybe up a mountain. 

They have a morning service consisting of praise and worship that could stir up the most stale and stagnant heart. Spirit-led preaching...

 Then, my favorite time!  The time that I SO looked forward to!  I would spend every spare second with the kids and babies! 

 Maybe it was their innocent wonder and curiosity about this crazy foreign white girl who was always either smiling, crying or both! 

 Maybe it was because spoken language was not necessary!  They are thrilled and satisfied with the universal language of a loving smile, a gentle hand grasping theirs, a tickle resulting in an outburst of giggles. 

There was nothing in the whole wide world that I would have traded even for ONE second of this pure bliss! 

I found my soul's delight as I sat holding a little child, effortlessly looking past the filth and stink.  In God's abundant goodness, He allowed me to see what He saw as I looked into each child's eyes.  A priceless, cherished, beloved, sacred, God-ordained blessing that was longing to be delighted in.  Whether for a few moments or a few hours. 

I would pray the mighty blood of Jesus over each child's life.  Then I would do what I enjoyed oh SO much!  I would show them love in action. 

 I realized that to tell a Malawian that God loves, often means nothing.  Why?  They have no grasp of the concept.  Biblical, Jesus-like love is non-existent to them.  So first I loved them with my expressions, eyes full of love, reassuring hugs and touches.  Hours of joyful, carefree play, long walks abounding with skipping, jumping, running, and LOTS of giggles!  Their are no language barriers with giggles!  All of this and so much more to demonstrate love.  Through this, they learn love and that my love was real!  So in turn, I could now point them to their perfect Creator, Lover, and Redeemer!

As my story closes, realize I have so much more!  I could share for months of all of my experiences!  I will share more after I have sifted through more of my thoughts.  The point I want to make with you is all of this works in America too!  Live your life spending each moment loving others with Christ-like love and in doing so , they will be directed to the supply of our love.  Indeed, they shall know we are Christian's by our love! 

Oh and may we all learn to NEVER resent the times when God gives us more than we can handle!  May we see that He is giving us another opportunity to give our burdens to Him.  May we see His glory revealed through our insufficiency!

Journey to Africa ~ Part 2

Trying to get the rest of the story out of a 16 year old BUSY girl, is not an easy task, but she has blessed us with the second part of her Journey to Africa!  Hope you are blessed!

People say that God will never give us more than we can handle.  I don't believe that!  I believe that God absolutely, completely, and purposely gives us more than we can handle.  Why?  So that we can see HIM provide and so we can see how good HE is at doing the impossible.  How ready He is to come through for His weak, broken, helpless, inadequate children.  God gives us more than we can handle to encourage us to surrender it to Him.  This sums up my journeys and lessons learned in Malawi, Africa.

6 weeks in Africa was absolutely NOTHING like what I anticipated.  I thought I was prepared.  Now I realize there is not really much preparation that can be done for something so drastic of a culture shock like I witnessed.  We had a few days in Blantyre before leaving on our first trip to the village.  Those few days were euphoric.  I felt so excited!  I knew that I belonged there and that God had so much in store.  Yet also there were strong feelings of caution and hesitation.  There is no way to describe what it was like to see Malawi for the first time. 

 I expected poverty, but nothing like I saw with my own eyes for the first time.  Orphaned toddlers digging through trash.  Hundreds of people walking every which way, people with absolutely no hope, ambition or vision except to find enough food and water to survive another day. 

Animals everywhere!  Goats, cows, chickens, dogs with bones protruding so much you could count their ribs. 

 I remember staring in wonder as I thought to myself, "This IS just like all the movies, the scenes in Africa!"  No real feeling of safety!  You can't call 911 if you need help!  There is no 911!  I felt so helpless!

My first reaction was probably deep grief and compassion.  The next was utter despair!  How in the world does anyone even make a dent in all this suffering and poverty? 

 Now I know that nobody can.  Only Jesus!  Only the gospel!  Only the souls who are willing to be the hands, feet, tears, and touch of Jesus!

We spent a LONG day of traveling to the first village.  The mountain views were spectacular! 

We arrived in our first village, Chididi after dark. 

 Getting there and stepping out of or Land Rover was surreal.  The whole village crowded around us to see the 'azungus' (white people).  I remember seeing dozens upon dozens of bright eyes looking at me through the dark.  The children were captivated.  Most having never seen a white skinned person in their lifetime!  Later that night I remember gazing up at the immense African sky.  I was in complete awe of the huge, bright, twinkling stars and constellations.  The sky was like nothing I had ever seen before!  Nothing to interfere with God's creation!  With tears streaming down my cheeks from the overwhelming beauty!  I felt so small...

Part 3 next to come!

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Journey to Africa ~ Part 1

My dear, sweet daughter is my guest on my blog today. I have been asked over and over for her to write about her experience so here it is!

As I look back on these past few months, I am still a little numb. You see, when you experience God like we did in Africa, life returning to America can never be the same!

It only took a few seconds of holding a filthy, malnourished, orphan child on my lap and a glimpse into their eyes, to see I was helplessly IN LOVE! I have now realized that a piece of my heart will belong with them forever. Regardless of the thousands of miles of distance that separates us now.

I will back up a bit for you. I am the second oldest of 12 children. I consider my self average in almost every way. I STRONGLY emphasize my many weaknesses and struggles as an American teen whose daily battle is to be in the world but not of it. God called me at 5 years old to be a missionary and I did not know how I would get to that point, I just knew what He whispered in my heart. My trip to Africa only made me more broken and allowed for me to see how things that we think matter in daily life, just don't anymore.

My African journey began about a year ago. I was presented with the opportunity to spend 6 weeks in Malawi, Africa as a part of an intense and challenging discipleship training time at Kalibu Bible School. The first of many "miracles" for this journey was getting permission from my parents. It takes a lot of faith to send your barely 16 year old daughter on a plane flight to a destination over 30 hours away. Across an ocean to a dark continent filled with poverty and potential danger for 6 WEEKS. Knowing there will be undesirable living conditions and nobody even speaks the same language! But with God's mercy, He gave my parents the wisdom and faith to say yes! I am SO grateful for their obedience!

In 7 weeks, we raised $7000! That was a HUGE miracle! God provided EVERY bit of it! Years past, my parents might have been able to contribute more but it was not an option with my dad's job loss in the past year. I knew God was the one that would have to pave the way! We look back and think it had to literally come seeping through cracks in the walls! In other words, we can't trace all the money that came in! While we were IN Africa, people were STILL sending money to my home! We watched God do His work. We bought passports without any money to buy an airplane ticket and just kept believing God would provide at the right time. After we bought the tickets, we still did not have the living expense money! We just kept believing, God WOULD provide. And boy did He ever! I sometimes wondered if He would provide for ME. No, it was not always in MY ideal timing, or in the way that I would have chosen most of the time, but He abundantly provided all that we needed and more!

Looking back, the journey did not begin when I boarded the plane. It began when God was so faithfully present throught all the obstacles that got us to that point of boarding the plane. I remember peeking across the isle, and watching America disappear into the distance as we spent 9 hours flying over nothing but ocean. That was the point when I finally realized the everything about this trip is so massive. I as so small! I asked God to help me to remember my inadequacy as I rested in HIS ability.

After 30 hours of flight time spread over about 3 days, we finally arrived in Blantyre, Malawi. When I stepped off of the plane and onto dusty Malawian soil, I took a deep breath and my heart sang. I had NO idea what God had in store for the next 6 weeks! I was about to be stretched more than I ever would have thought possible. Yet I felt so alive. I had the unshakeable assurance that God had carried me that far and that surely He would carry me the rest of the way. This was where God had me. This is what I had prayed hours and hours for. I dreamed about it and at times wondered if I'd ever make it there, but I did. All the nerves were covered by my smile, as six weeks of the most challenging, incredible moments of my life began!

Stay tuned as I continue to write about my Journey to Africa...

Foto Friday~ no words need to be said!

May God's love reach this sweet little one in Malawi, Africa as she grows!
Someday, hopefully, she will be greeted in heaven by us because we have prayed for her to recieve Jesus into her heart! 

Foto Friday~They are back!

The day FINALLY came! 
We picked up our sweet, world traveling, children from the airport! 

Big and little sister bonded again!

And the middle sister and big sister where so excited to be together again!

We are hearing story after story and I am having the time of my life listening!  And the joy of just looking at their faces is intoxicating!  I go up and hug them just because I can!  :)

Thank you for ALL of your prayers!  God has been SO good!

On last hurdle

We leave today to pick our kids up!   Their plane arrives tomorrow afternoon and I feel like a kid waiting for Christmas morning!  No, I will not sleep tonight, I am sure! 

There is ONE last hurdle.  There are scheduled riots for TODAY in Malawi.  Their government is really currupt and the people are tired of it.  They have canceled flights and closed the airport before because of riots in the past.  I am praying for safety for them and their scheduled arrival time.  If you would pray with me in the coming hours, I would appreciate it!  I will keep everyone updated.  I have no contact with them now until they arrive back in the states. 

The end...or the beginning?

As I sit here to night, I have so many emotions going through my mind.  My children have been through so much in Africa and we ALL have changed.  We may not fully understand until later on.  But I am sure some of the changes will be noticed immediately.  We pick our kids up at the airport at the end of this week.  I dropped them off teenagers, but I am sure, that we will be picking up adults!  The change in their voices and the topics of their conversations, gives us the indication that in 6 weeks, they have grown up!  Hard for me to grasp really.  Sad in some ways.  Although rather strange for me to be sad they have grown up in a "good" way!  I just know that the things I have always known about my children, will somehow have shifted from being totally dependant on me, to not needing me to the capacity they used to.  Yes, that is our goal as parents and I do welcome it, but a very new feeling for me. 

My son will turn 18 in a few weeks and I knew that letting go more was inevitable, but this was so abrupt!  Maybe that is how God knew I could handle it best.  "Cold-turkey" letting go!  After all, I know they were never mine, and at some point this letting go thing was bound to hit me in the face sometime and I would have to leave them totally in the hands of God.  Surrender?  YIKES!  My life is supposed to be that anyway, right?  Surrendered to the things that God desires, not what I desire.  That's a tough thing to swallow, for me anyway.  I like comfort, predictability, stability, and things MY way.  Not easy to give all that up for something that requires me to die to self. 

So how did I get here?  How did I do it?  How did I sit in the car, (sobbing uncontrollably I might add), leaving the airport 6 weeks ago, telling God that I can't do this!  Telling Him that He thinks I am WAY stronger than I think I am!  To sitting here now, with 6 weeks of peace and a strength that I did not know was even possible or could exist in my soul?  My answer is... ~surrender~!  Surrender to a living God who DOES supply all of my needs!  Even the things that require the most of myself.  For me that is my children.  Did I do it?  Could I have done this on my own?  NO WAY!  It was way to big for me!  It started with a little amount of faith and then grew.  Faith is things hoped for and the evidence of things not seen.  So that is how I did it!  Surrender to faith and faith in my God!  Easy?  NOPE!  I am sure that the things I have experienced will only "grow" me in the years to come and now I feel as if I can take on anything!  I thank God for watching over me and also giving me the strength to do what He said I could do!  For that, I am forever changed!  What do you need to surrender to Him today?  Give it up!  he does not want you to carry it, and He will give you all that you need to stand strong in Him.  Try it!  You will never be the same! 

Our journey TO Africa, is almost through.  However, I am certain that our journey in other ways, is just beginning! 

Foto Friday~ mini me

This is my 14 year old with her little "mini Me"

You can't see it, but they both have deep dimples and the EXACT same color of hair!

It is so fun to watch the older kids fall in love with the little ones of the family!

What blessings we have been given!

Take time to enjoy your blessings this weekend!

One week left for our kids to be home from Africa and sleeping in their own beds!  I can't wait!  Please continue to pray for them.  They are in villages this week and it has been the worst living conditions they have witnessed so far.  No shower for 5 days and the food is less than desirable!  Along with bats, rats, lizards, and their mattress covered in bugs that you really don't need to shoo them away because they are so thick it is pointless! Since it is daytime here, she said it was good I was awake because then I could pray her to sleep!  That was quite a tug on this mama's heart!

 However, my daughter had the chance to tell one lady of Jesus who had NEVER even heard of His name and she brought her to Christ.  Also, a 14 year old that got to know Jesus just because they were in the village they were in. God is using them as ministers for Him.  For that we are truly thankful!  My daughter said it is worth losing all of her comforts and she would live like she has been for the rest of her life if it would mean helping others find Jesus!  Nothing else really matters!

May I have that Christlike mind in my life!

Africa update...

I recieved a letter this morning from my daughter, and I think this is the best way to "update" you on my kids experience in Africa!  Enjoy!  I know I did!

---------------------------------------------

It’s me J

 I miss you all like crazy! God has been soo good to me though, and there have only been a couple times where I’ve had that sad, miserable, longing ache to be back at home IMMEDIATELY. When I had malaria it was definitely a very tough four days. I don’t think that I’ll ever forget those days of being so, so, so sick. And not just sick, but sick and laying in a dirty mud hut in the middle of absolutely nowhere!  I wouldn’t trade that time for anything, though. Because during that time God ministered to me, and I literally felt His presence stronger than I ever have in my life. He spoke to me and revealed so much to me... I don’t have enough time to explain it all by e-mail, but once I get home I will be able to tell you more about some things that happened spiritually during those four days.

 This whole trip hasn’t been like a big “spiritual high”. There has been so much testing, so many challenges. There have been some reeaallly difficult days. Days when I would end up in tears at some point.  Pure, raw tears from an overwhelmed heart. I think that before I left I had this expectation that this trip was going to be a little bit challenging, but that it was going to be so full of great emotional high points where God’s presence was always tangible, too. I was wrong. There have been many of those times where the Holy Spirit was so obviously near. But the majority of the time has been a testing, refining process. I have had to keep pressing on so many times when I so desperately want to give up. I have had to go without running water, electricity, a bed, sleep, etc.. I have had to deal with lots and lots of insects, animals where I’m trying to sleep, food that I am not familiar with, a language that I cannot understand. And the transportation…Oh my goodness!!! I have been in the back of a very tiny pickup, along with 25 other people! I have been in countless mini-buses with goats, chickens, plus 22 or 23 sweaty, filthy, smelly people!  Yet, I am so very thankful for this! I have, at least somewhat, began to seek JESUS. Not the blessings He gives, not the fuzzy feelings He gives, not comfort, not ease, not familiarity. I have tasted and found that He alone is enough. It is a glorious freedom not to be bound by anything! I don’t need a shower every day, I don’t need American food, I don’t need a bed to sleep in, I don’t need female company. Jesus is enough, and nobody can take Him away from me! Nothing can separate me from His love and His presence.

   As a white person (well…sort of white!! I have a very dark tan right now because of all the exposure I’ve had to the hot, African sun!) , I am the focus of all attention wherever I go, especially because I am a female!  There aren’t really any female missionaries at all around here. I wake up in a house with three men in it. Then I go to prayer and intercession with anywhere from 10 to 20 men. Then Bible class is taught by different men, and I am the only female there. Then we will go and talk with some of the pastor’s and have lunch with five or six more men. Then we will go home and I will be cooking dinner and find out that a few men are coming over for dinner.  In the villages women are not valued at all. Black women, that is. It’s so ingrained in their culture that at the church services, the men won’t even sit with their wives.  White women are treated like queens. This also has an advantage.  People are curious, and when I speak and teach, they listen.

  Last night we went to the church service at Kalibu. It was spectacular. The worship was just incredible! It’s hard to describe, but to hear over 500 young African students joyfully, loudly, boldly praising God with everything in them...it was great. We sang and worshipped and danced and shouted and praised God for over an hour, but it seemed like less than five minutes. Pastor Mike preached, and boy does he preach with an anointing.

   I sit here and try to cram everything that I’m learning and experiencing into a few paragraphs in an e-mail and it is not easy! I have tried, but I really can’t explain all that is going on, all that God is doing. At least not by e-mail.  

 Make sure that everyone who has supported us and is praying for us knows that we appreciate it! There have been many times where I can literally feel God’s protection and presence  and I just know that it’s the result of someone’s prayer at that moment. I’ve had this happen a few times in the middle of the night when I wake up and I am filled with the assurance that someone, somewhere is praying for me. I can’t tell you how much that means at that time.

 Tell everyone that A---- says hi! I miss you guys!! And I will be home very soon!!

I love you all!!!!!

~A----

Malaria...

This sweet daughter of mine had quite a rough week in the villages of Africa! 

We called our son to chat Friday because he would have reception and he told us she was sick and that they thought it was Malaria!  YES, Malaria! "But don't worry mom, it is VERY common around here!" Yeah, sure okay son! I will just go about my business with a smile on my face and know that all will be okay! HA!

They had the immuniztation but that it is not a sure proof they would not get it!  I then talked to her and she said even her bones ached. She had never felt so miserable! And then to add to the problem of being sick, she was thousands of miles and an ocean away from home! As she was laying on her "mattress" in one of the villages, 2 mice scurried across her floor and then a goat, chicken and dog entered her "home". She then decided to get up and close the "door" to get some relief! (Not quite the same as home!)  Maybe some brothers and sisters to contend with, but hopefully their breath would be a touch more bearable! :)

Yes, my heart hurt terribly, when she said she wanted to come home!  How she wished she could lay her head on my lap!  Where does a mother go with that when there is NO possible way to even come close to being able to do that!  Well, God is where I went!  I asked Him to hold her, keep His eye on her, and help her to know that she is taken care of!  When her tears sting her face because she wants to be in HER bed and in HER room with her head on MY lap, I asked God to PLEASE be her peace and comfort!  When she is overwhelmed, remind her that there is a rock who is higher than her!

I was sure that fear thing I struggle so much with, would creep back in and rear it's ugly head!  Guess what?  It didn't!  I continued to be reminded how He has cared for them already and His hand is upon them!  I must remember that always!  Oh how I LONGED to be with her and sit with her and pray over her to be healed...but God reminded me that His hands are stronger and yet even more gentle than mine and I can STILL pray for her healing!  So...I did!  I prayed all day that as she slept she would wake up and be able to walk and preach and do all that God had planned for her. 

Well, the text I received early this morning, said, "Mom, she is almost all better!  She woke up feeling strong and able to go on with all that we have planned for the day!"  Just another story in their journey to Africa!  God has done so much and now a testimony of healing!  To Him I give glory for raising my child out of her sick bed and I am reminded that He has plans to prosper her, to give her a hope and a future! 

Today, she and her brother are at a lodge on Lake Malawi.  Some time to enjoy the beauty of Africa and relax after being in the villages for a week.  Next week, they will be meeting with 800 and some high school kids to tell them about Jesus!  Pray for them and I will share more as it comes in! 

God is SO very good!

"Fear Not..."

I sit here tonight amazed at the road I have been on!  I cannot believe where I have come from!  If you have known me or read my blog for very long, you know that I have battled fear.  The kind that cripples.  The kind that influenced most of my decisions in my life.  Sadly to say, in a not so great way!  From the time my head hits the pillow at night to the time I lift it up in the morning, fear always surrounded me.  I have suffered many losses in my life in the past, maybe that is why.  But for whatever reason, I lived in it.  Worried of fires in the middle of night and that I would not be able to save my children, to my husband dying on the way to work!  And ALL the in betweens!  So for me to send my two oldest children to Africa was a miracle in itself!  God started small.  First it took faith to even think of them going.  Then it took more faith to continue to watch them buy the tickets, to getting all of the rest of the money to go then sending them away on the plane in Chicago!   I was really strong!  Until...

...I said goodbye to them as they left me at the security gate at the airport!  2 kids who had never even been IN an airport to now flying by themselves half-way around the world!  How do I give up control in that way?  How do I rest in the reality that I cannot take care of them?  How do I REALLY give it up and let God take care of them?  Is it really possible!  For days, not so much!  I had the fear that did not allow me to sleep at nights.  The fear that had me pull over in a parking lot to cry for a bit just because I had to let it out somehow!  I really felt like sometimes, I was in a dream!  A night-mare really!  So, at some point I knew that I had to let go!  They were thousands of miles and an ocean away so what really was it doing for me to fear?  AHHH, maybe just maybe, this is the point God was trying to show me my entire life!  Whether it is a fire I fear, my husband being killed in a car accident, or my children half a world away, I CANNOT control it anyway, so why do I even try!  It hit me hard!  Then I got it!  I can trust God!  Not that anything bad will never happen, but even if it does, I am in His hands!  I obey and have faith and He takes care of the facts!  A spiritual light bulb moment!  It took this long for me to get to where He has wanted me to be for years!  He is God and I am not!  So I no longer need to fear!  I have such peace!  A faith and rest that I have never known before!  I said to my mom today, "I feel like I have grown up!"  I used to feel like a small child scared of the dark, everyday of my life!  Now, I am walking in His light and feel like with Him, ALL things are possible because HE is in charge, not me! 

I talked to my daughter today and they are doing so well!  They have climbed a mountain, and gone horseback riding on the African terrain.  They are studying the word of God like never before and feeding others His word because of it!  They will be in the villages all week this week!  No comforts!  A tent, no electricity, plumbing, showers, or "normal" food!  They are preaching and teaching 3 times a day to people who have no bibles because they do not have any in their language yet.  People who are SO hungry for the word of God that they don't care about blessings or heaven!  People who are just SO desperate to hear the words of God because they KNOW that it casts out all fear and if they can just hear it, they find comfort!  My daughter said that the holy spirit is SO thick in the villages because there are no hindrances!  No clocks, TV's, meal-times, toys, malls or ANYTHING that gets in the way!  Villagers who are so HUNGRY to hear the word of God that they sit for as long as they can at my children's feet just to get a taste of JESUS!  My children have given up all their comforts to tell other's of Him, and God in His grace, has allowed me to "give up" my children so they can reach those who need Him!  No glory in it for us, just proof of how God works in you if you allow Him to!  Obedience is not easy, but ALWAYS worth it!

I am for the first time in my life, free of fear!  If I can send my most valued thing on earth, to Africa and leave them in God's hands, I know I can leave EVERYTHING in God's hands!  Even my husband driving to work in the mornings!  (Now if he would just get a job!)  Oh yeah, I can EVEN leave that in His hands and no longer worry about that either!  What freedom there is when we choose obedience over our ways! 

My children's journey to Africa is almost half-way through now and this week, I will have very little contact with them, if any.  So I may catch up a bit on the other things that have happened around our home!  Stay with me and stay tuned!  Oh and remember, do not fear anything!  God has His hand over every one of our situations He is in charge!  Rest in that!