Does Jesus play 'Words with Friends'?

I got hooked!  It happened quickly and am thankful it was a short lived addiction!  I began playing the game on the internet, "Words With Friends".  I thought I was pretty intelligent until about after 2 turns!  I decided either I was not as smart as I thought I was or I had just gotten really dumb from lack of exposure to anything involved with academics about 6th grade! 

Anyway, I was playing one night and my letters came up...

(For those of you who don't play, they are the letters at the very bottom and they randomly are sent to you)

 

It was close to the final round.  I looked down and saw it right in front of me!  I giggled and was just so amazed at what I saw!  I finished my game and began to retrospect.  (I do that alot!)  I don't believe in coincedence!  I wondered if God was having fun or if He was trying to show me something by something SO obvious!  I decided He was having fun with me and it blessed my heart!  I also, without guilt, decided that I could have been doing something better with my time than playing a game on the internet!  I realized that although it is fun, the few quiet times I have, I could be spending it MUCH more wisely!  If I can find time to sit and play on the computer, I can find time to catch some moments with Jesus!  So I gave it up...I no longer play games on the internet anymore.  It was shortlived...I really did not enjoy it much but it did become something I kept going to. A time stealer!  So many things in this life can become that!   The enemy wants to rob us of our time with God because those are the times we draw strength and get equipped to live in this fallen world!  If I even sit for 3 minutes 10 times a day in the word, that is 30 minutes of my time that can be used in such a mighty way!  (I find it very easy to do that on the internet without a second thought!)

 

Yes, God had fun with me that day playing "Words With Friends" but He also in His sweet, loving spirit, convicted me of how I spend the time He has given me!  Do I use it for Him or do I waste it away?  I am once again remided, that even just a moment at His feet satisfies my soul better than anything this world has to offer me!  Then I am ready to face the world!  So thankful for His parenting skills! :)

 

The WORST/BEST day ~ Part 2

Okay, so the best is yet to come!

It is now the same night that I left off in Part 1...

 I sit down at the computer really, no I mean REALLY ready for bed but thought I would check my e-mail.  I can hardly see because I had been crying so hard all day and my head is throbbing.  A sweet girl that I have come to love very much and have been praying for to be saved, wants to chat.  Now, I must admit I was so very tired and wanted to go to bed but I quickly said hello and we made some small talk and I tell her I had to get to bed.  We were going to talk on the phone but her cell phone was dead so we continued on our computers.  The rest of the converstion went like this...(This was all written and it is the REAL conversation so grammatical errors are many):

Me: God has always been my rock and always will be but it's a good thing I don't have to do this all alone because I would be done!

Taylor: i have just been having a really hard time knowing where my great grandma is. austin and i were talking and he said lots and it really made me think about my great grandma she was a cathloc and idk where she is and i want to go where she is. ik deep down she was amazing and should b in heaven but they say cathlics dont go there a lot

Me: That is not true at all! God has the best plan for you....your eternity is what He is concerned about so live for Him and the rest will fall into place

Taylor: i just want to know where she is and i pray and pray but never feel like i get an answer to where she is. i just want to end up where ever she is i would do anything to b with her when its my time

Me: Well, after I gave my heart to God, He layed it on my heart that my grandpa was in heaven

Taylor: may i ask how u did that? i want god to have my heart and i feel like he doesnt have it fully and i hate the feeling of knowing god doesnt have my full heart

Me: The only place you really want to be is in eternity WITH Jesus

Taylor: i want to be one that goes to heaven i fear everyday i dont do enough to get there

Me: Well, the only way you can really know is if you ask Him into your heart...you are saved by His grace. Nothing you can do but ask Him into your heart then you are forgiven and become His

Taylor: i want to let him know i need him

Me: You can't do enough! None of us can! It is only through His blood that was shed and through our faith...Jn 3 :16 For God so loved the world that He gave His only son that whoever believes in Him will have eternal life.You have to believe He did for you on the cross and He does the rest! It is that easy!

Taylor: i pray at night but i dont always feel like its going to him idk its something i have always had trouble with and never talked with it to anyone bc i dont want to b judged

Me: He always hears His children but maybe He just wants to know He has your whole heart! He will do the rest! I would NEVER judge you!

Taylor: i just want to know where she is its been so hard for me everyday i get up and say where r u  god? and nothing comes. thats y i told u

Me: I just know you have to rest in God and He will take care of the rest!

Taylor: i will. i want god to have my heart and have time to listen to my prayers. i need him with me in my life
 
Me: He always has time! His wants that too! Taylor that is all it takes! He will come in and flood your soul! Ask Him and tell Him you have the faith to believe He died for you!

Taylor: i will

Me: Then, He comes in and you will never be the same! Some things you will have to seek Him more and wait on HIS answers but it will be worth it! If you call me, you can pray a prayer with me or you can do it on your own! It's up to you!

Taylor: i have tears in my eyes....

Me: That a good sign of the cleansing of the soul!

Taylor: i just prayed and when i said i believe you died for me i had tears and i saw something but i dont know what it was

Me: Expect Him to release you and enter your heart! Keep talking to Him and tell Him ALL your fears!
 

Taylor: i think hes closer than i think he is

 

Me: There is nothing you have to do and you can't be good enough or act perfect because it is only by His grace we are all saved! Not by works! He is always right by your side

 

Taylor: ok. i feel something. i feel wrapped up and now I feel something has been released. that was something i felt with my gradmas dream but i feel like this one wont leave me and i enjoy it i feel like i am being held

 

Me: That is how He shows us His love! He is your Heavenly Father! As much as your earthly father loves you, God loves you even more!

 

Taylor: this is the most amazing feeling ever

 

Me: Yep! Walk in that peace!

 

Taylor: thank u so much! i feel him around me i love it  

 

Me: That is it Taylor! You got it! He will NEVER let you down and He will NEVER let you go!

 

Taylor: i dont feel alone anymore like i have my whole life! thank you so much

 

Me: You will never be alone EVER again! Man can do nothing to you because you are a daughter of the King!

 

Taylor: im in shock! i feel like i have finally gotten to him through so many prayers i finally have reached him! this is AMAZING

 

Me: I am so happy for you Taylor! Don't let go of it! Walk in it and know that He would have died for just you! That is how much He loves you!

 

Taylor: i cant even explain what im feeling besides the thought that i am loved, accepted and wanted. i still feel it and i hope.  I didn't do anything but ask for help!

 

Me: He gives grace to the humble Taylor! That is His way! He can get through to us when we give it all to Him! Jesus made your life! Now, you never have to fear death because you will never die! You will spend eternity with Him!

 

Taylor: i cant thank u enough for this

 

Me: Please, thank HIM! I did nothing! It was Him and you! :)

 

 

Our conversation ended and I looked at my 13 year old who was in the room with me and said to her, "All of the terrible, BAD that happened today, I would do it all over again to lead someone to Christ!  It has allllll been worth it!  In the midst of all of my pain, God allowed me the privilege of leading somebody to the Him!  Boy does that take the focus off of yourself in a hurry!  I then got in the shower.  I was SO over blown with awe and joy!  My mourning had turned to gladness because I witnessed a new name added to the Lamb's Book of Life!  God then began to show me something...it was SO intense that I could hardly take it! 

 

He began to so clearly reveal His heart to me from the happenings of my day.  The thought of losing my children to DHS, is what He goes through everyday because He is losing HIS children to the world and satan!  The pain that gripped my heart, is but a tiny example of the pain that He has because He is losing HIS children!  The pain that I had earlier told my daughter I would do all over again, is why HE endured the cross!  It was all worth it to Him because He loves us so very much!  I began to weep because it became so clear how much He cares and wants to have His children living with Him in eternity!  It gave me such a deep desire to go and seek the lost and tell them about Him!  There is an urgency!  Time is running out!  If we don't go, who will?  I can't use my excuses anymore!  It is a matter of obedience!  I can't bear the pain because I love my Heavenly Father so very much and I want to do what I can to be a witness to those He loves!  I want to stand before Him someday and hear Him say, "Well done my good and faithful servant!"

 

During the night, I had a dream.  Someone came to take my little 3 year old from me and all my other children were safe and sound in their beds.  I got up and ran out of my door chasing them and screaming for them to give me my child back!  I woke up and very relieved it was a dream...I began to pray.  God asked me a question to reveal MORE of His heart.  "If they took only one of your children, would you just let them take him knowing you have 11 other's who are safe in your keeping?" 

 

"Of course I would not, God!  I would fight to my death to get him back! "

 

God spoke again, "That is how it is with me!  I cannot just sit back and let the lost ones go!  I have to reach out to them and ask other's to help me reach them!  There is not one who is of greater importance to me than the other!  Just as your children are to you!" 

 

WOW!  I was once again in awe of His heart!  How amazing to have been given the chance to for a moment, feel His heart! 

 

People, we NEED to go and show other's His love!  He is crying out to us to share with other's His heart before it is to late!  My children were not taken from me and it seems that they let everything go because there was no grounds of anything for them to charge us with.  (I knew they had nothing to go on but it was scary just the same!)  God DID act on our behalf but there are GOD'S children who will make the choice to not spend eternity with HIM and He is not willing to let them go without a fight!!  He died for them and you!

 

Will you commit to God and ask how you can help and what you can do to be His servant and have His heart!  He is calling those who know Him, to go! 

 

Will you?

So the circumstances of our day can have a GREAT effect on us and we can even go through some really bad things and God does care!  But it really made me see that God is wanting to reach His lost children so badly that He will do what He can to get our attention to teach us how to draw near to His heart so we will have His heart!  The focus of His heart is His children and He wants ALL of them to choose Him! 

My worst day of pain in my heart became one of the most joyous days because God allowed me to take the focus off of myself and share in the joy He finds when one lost soul turns their heart to Him!  He can handle even the worst day of my life and turn it into joy and make it one of the best day's of my life!  I am hoping for MANY more "best day's" as I continue to share Christ's love with those around me! 

 

I am not but I know the 'I AM'

I can tell you that this definition describes my life lately:

re·fine :

1. remove impurities: to produce a purer form of something by removing the impurities from it, or become pure through such a process
2. make something more effective: to improve something through small changes that make it more effective or more subtle
3. make or become more elegant: to make somebody or something more cultured or elegant by eliminating less acceptable habits and tastes, or become more cultured in this way

I really don't like refining!  It is sometimes painful, agonizing, exhausting and just plain unenjoyable! I have had it happen many times in my life and it is never appealing until...

I realize how much I needed it and how much God has shown me in the process.  God has used my children, husband and life circumstances to refine me.  Sometimes it has been one of those at a time, other times it seems ALL of them are being used at once!  It has been the latter!  For weeks, God has been getting me to a place of more surrender and brokeness!  More job rejections for my sweet hubby, more questions than answers so it would appear!  However, through the small changes he as done in me (look at #2 up above), I think I have become more effective in what He is trying to accomplish in my life! 

I have gotten weary!  I should not be surprised that my flesh has acted as flesh!  But I do have a greater hope!  It is in Jesus and the cross!  He is my high priest!  Just as the people went to the high priest with all of their "issues", in God's eyes, they were made whole because of who the high priest was!  That is how it is with Jesus!  I have been made whole because of who HE is!  I am so thankful for that!  The refining and His grace has taught me to look more and more to Him knowing He does have all I need!  So my questions are answered in what Moses found...He is the 'I AM'!  That is what He is for us to! 

For that I am so thankful!  I can rest knowing His refining is only drawing me to Him!  The exhaustion of motherhood, the demands of daily life, and the good and bad, are ALL taken care of by 'I AM'!  I am not but 'I AM' is!  I love that! 

Matthew 11:28
Come to Me, all you who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.

No more trying to achieve MY plan or searching for a way to get rid of the burdens but total rest in knowing that He has it all!

Exodus 3:14
And God said to Moses, “I AM WHO I AM.” And He said, “Thus you shall say to the children of Israel, ‘I AM has sent me to you.’”

Let Him be the 'I AM' in your life!  To all your questions, the anwer is HIM, the 'I AM'!

Be still

Love others who hurt you
Bring truth to those who are untrue
Show the love you have for God and bring it to others
There is so much darkness around
Don't become dim
Look to truth and know that God's heart is light
Other's NEED to know how to recieve that light!
Do not lean on your OWN understanding
Follow God's way not your feelings
Your feelings can decieve you

Walk by faith and NOT by sight

When everything is caving in around you,
Remember...

Be still and know that HE is GOD!

Do you?

The past few weeks have been quite a journey for me!  It has been painful, intense, agonizing and amazing!  God has shown me nooks and crannies in my heart that needed to be exposed and refined. 

I always thought I had a heart for the lost!  I decided that was really not the case!  I have been in a position of ministering to so many who are crying out for something to hang on to!  It is heart wrenching!  Everywhere I turn, people are losing thier eternal souls!  God has shown me how He sees others...not in humaness with certain brands of shoes and outward apprearances as I do!  He looks through His eyes, a soul that He wants to spend eternity with!  The people in your neighborhood, the ones walking in and out of Wal-mart, your children and family!  Jesus is in love with all of them!  Just as He is you!  I have had days lately of agonizing over the lost.  It is a very hard place to be but I truly believe that it is the only way we can discover how God's heart works!

 Agnozize...suffer or cause somebody pain: to suffer, or cause somebody to suffer, extreme pain or mental anguish

My agony has not been physical but spiritual!  I have come to the realization that it is far worse to be in spiritual agony of physical agony!  Someday, our bodies will be gone, but our souls are eternal! No comparison!  I live in my comfortable home, food to eat, cars to drive and so much more!  Yet I complain!  I am not saying that I should not appreciate those things!  I am just realizing that priorities are SO much different in God's eyes than my eyes!  I want to be in a place where I would give up all that I know as familiar for the kingdom of God!  Am I willing to let all of it go just to see that other's know Him?  What limits have I made on how much God can do in and through me?  Is it enough?  Is there more?  Can I lay it all down to suffer for the lost?

Am I willing to lay it all down?  How far am I willing to go?  Do I cry out for the lost as God does?  I need His heart to be my heart!

Do you?

Prayer walk

This group covered our city in prayer on Saturday

We walked over 3 miles!
Some prayed out loud and some just walked quietly in sweet communion with their Savior

Prayer changes things!  We are asking for the oppression to leaveand the lost to be saved!  We believe it WILL happen!  Where two or more are gathered, He promises to be in the midst of them!

ALL ages contributed!  My bookend daughters made it to the end
together!

My little guy made it the ENTIRE way walking with those sweet little legs!  He helped me sing "This Little Light of Mine", "Jesus Loves Me", and MANY more!

It was an amazing time of togetherness!  My heart was touched! I can't wait to see what God does during our annual Campmeeting Revival this week!  We are expecting AMAZING things and lives
to be changed FOREVER!

Have a GREAT week!

Full of...

Our summers are always full of activity!  Come to think of it, my LIFE is full of activity during every season!  But these are some things we plan on doing in the coming weeks:

• reading books for fun not to include reports!
• making meals for others with hectic lives
• playing outside for countless hours
• MANY baths daily!  (yes with 7 boys under 11, they require many daily!)
• annual church campmeeting  (our evangelist is Chris Owensby...Check out his websight here)
• joining in a prayer walk around our city to release the power of the Holy Spirit in our town
• swimming at Grandma's
• bible school
• having a neighborhood bible school in our yard
• playing at our local YMCA
• birthdays...always birthdays!
• playing at the park
• having a garage sale
• bonfires with hotdogs and s'mores
• continually, hopefully reaching our neighborhood for Christ!

God has placed us in a neighborhood that is so lost!  We have had the chance to minister through pray, giving our time and sometimes just a smile!  It has been amazing!!!  I wondered many times when we moved here, what God was up to!  I now realize even more, how desperate people are to hear and feel the love of Christ!  It is so exciting and humbling to be used to introduce Jesus to the lost!  My children are changed forever!  It has taught us not to judge other's because of how they dress, how much money they have or even attitudes they may have!  Everyone has a past and needs love and acceptence!  We have stepped out in faith and it has not been easy but God has shown us how people need His love!  He wants us to be His hands and feet! 

Will you help us spread the love of Christ where you live?  The world is dying spiritually and everyday that passes, is one day less that we have! 

Summer is filled with exciting things but the only thing that will last forever is a heart changed for eternity!  Give your summer to God and ask Him to lead you to the lost and watch what happens!

Please pray for us as we minister to our neighborhood!  God is doing amazing things!  We are so thankful for the opportunity we have been given!   

The white flag of surrender

Motherhood has not been easy lately!

(In fact, this picture was taken right in the middle of all the chaos!)

I have gone through some "issues" that have brought me to my knees A LOT!

It seems the questions have no anwers and there are SO many of them!

My reactions have been quick and my tongue has not been bitten much!

(I am realizing it would be better to feel the physical pain of that than dealing with the regret of harsh answers!)

I have had these times before but this time it has had a twist I can't explain

I feel like I should beable to hold everything together

Now realizing I just can't!

The other day,

I had it!

  I looked at my boys and said,

"You win! I wave my white flag!  I surrender!  I have nothing left!" 

They looked at me in confusion and a blank look but continued on as if nothing happened!

 HA! Surprise, surprise!

Suddenly, I heard that sweet voice from my heavenly Father,

"Why don't you surrender that white flag to ME!  You were not meant to carry it anyway!"

Oh yeah!  I forgot that! 

 I began to see I was searching the file cabinet of MY wisdom looking for the anwers! 

He was reminding me that it just does not work that way! 

HE is the way, the truth and the life! 

That is why I was at the end so to speak!

I was thinking of MY way, MY truth and it was sucking the life right out of me!

So I gave Him the flag, got on my knees and let Him do the rest!

Are there still questions?  Yep!

However, I have found rest...

A place where I can be still and know that He is God!

Someday, my 2nd greatest desire is that my children rise up and call me blessed!

(That is not from a motive of selfishness but born out of desire to know that my children must see Christ in me!)

The first desire is that they are sold out for Christ daily and will enter the pearly gates!  But I do think they coincide!

It is not possible if I am doing it on my own but God's grace and love, will carry me through these years of MANY messes, attitudes, ungratefulness, meals, running errands, and repeated training times that I wonder if anything is really getting through!

As a mother, there is so much enduring! 

But I can choose to look at it as drudgery OR look at it as an honor that I have been called to be Jesus hands and feet at this time in their lives. 

To help form their hearts in love and mold their hearts to seek and search for Christ!

How is that done? 

Not sure totally!

I do know, that giving up that white flag of surrender to Him, I am guaranteed He has the answer!

Do you need to wave your flag or are you carrying it all yourself?

Let it go!  He will amaze you!

Our Standard

A few days ago while on the treadmill (I pray lots when I am on it), God asked me a question..."Heather, where do you receive your standard for your family?"  I began to think about it for a time and was really surprised and disappointed with my answer. 

Having a large family puts a lot of pressure and a mom!  I have watched the Dugger's, we know many other families who have many children and I always come up with the same feeling..."What am I doing wrong?!  Everyone else has it all together!"  Then the comments I receive such as:

You are a super mom! 
How do you do it?
You are AMAZING!
Your kids are so well behaved!
Do you ever lose it?  It sure doesn't look like it!
You look so normal!  (Still wonder what that means!)

With all of that going on, it makes me really crazy sometimes!  Because guess what?  I am NOT  a "super" mom, I am NOT amazing most days, my kids have meltdowns, bad attitudes, fight and talk back, I DO lose it and I guess maybe I look "normal" (still not totally sure about that one) but sometimes I don't feel like I am!  With all of that being said, Christ is completing Himself in me day after day and through His grace, I am doing what He has called me to do,

 HOWEVER...

I get sucked in to trying to be someone I am not sometimes and trying to imitate other's because I THINK that is what my standard should be!  Self-imposed misery, guilt, desperation, and inadequacy is what that brings!  Yes, we have a big family but why do I think we should all sing, play instruments, eat only organic foods, wear skirts, and make our own bread?  Now, those things are great but if that is not what God has for our family right now, that's okay too! 

My answer to the above question was, my standard was being set by what I perceive other's have done with their large families.  I was not looking to God for what HIS standard it for us. 

Our family LOVES sports and we LOVE to meet neighbors and cook meals for them, and my girls and I also love to serve in our women's ministry at our church.  So my search for what "gifts" God has given our family is finally surfacing and I am asking GOD what we can do for Him!  My husband has been unemployed for 19 months now and for many months, it was a battle.  Questions are now starting to be answered.  We feel we are going the direction we have longed for but did not know how to get there.  Dad is at home with the boys most of time, while going out and doing "work" with the boys to provide income.  The girls and I are sewing (well, I AM doing that!),  baking and selling Tupperware to sell at our town's summer flea market.  My oldest daughter plays the violin, my middle daughter is playing the guitar, the younger daughter plays the piano and the baby daughter, is just plain cute!  We are starting to sing together and not sure yet how God will use that but it does not matter right now!  We are doing it for God and that is what matters!! 

In this society, other's lives look appealing and can make us feel inferior or maybe even make us strive for something that is not Godly for us!  (Even though it may be Godly for someone else!)   You can get really weary striving for something that is not meant to be!  I am learning to look to God for His standard for our family.  Writing down all of the special things that make my children who they are and encouraging those things in them so that God can do what He desires through them.

As for me?  I have to look to my husband and God and His word for what His standard is for us.  I don't have to live up to what other's think and try to please them.  I only need to have eyes for my heavenly Father and ask for HIS direction.  There is SO much peace in not striving anymore to be somebody we are not!  I am a mother of 12 children but I struggle just as much as a mom with 1 or 2 children!  I don't have it all together and I am constant prayer day in and day out to fight my fleshly battles!  God is so faithful and I am so blessed but please don't put us mother's of large families on a pedestal! (Maybe that will help you realize we are just like you!)  We are no different than anyone else trying to seek God and live for Him!  We have lots to love and lots to endure but so do other people!  God gives us much grace and teaches us as we go just as He did in bible times and as He does now in the 21st century!!

What is your standard of who you and your family are?  Do you compare with other's or do you look to the One who created you and your family?  Don't let the enemy steal the blessing God has for you by wasting your time striving for something He does not intend for you!  Look to Him and will show you! 

Hope, Peace and somewhere in between

When all resources are finally exhausted, you begin to realize that your life IS in God's hands!

Totally, fully, and 150%!

No more striving

No more searching

No more looking

No more wondering

No more looking to YOUR idea's

They don't work anyway!

For a time,

(LOT'S longer than I care to admit)...

My idea's were first and foremost!

The scary thing was, I THOUGHT I was just "waiting on God"

And yet, I kept dreaming of MY way and how I thought things should work!

So really was I "waiting" on Him or "waiting" for Him to do things MY way?

The money I thought we needed to make it

The job I thought my husband needed

The life I thought we deserved and how "surely" God would give us nothing less than that!

We have been obedient after all!

Then...

I began to see after the final surrender He was longing for me to get to

I realized that by HIS grace, He did not let me stumble!

He kept me from the things I THOUGHT I needed

Now...

 I am finally at a place of Peace

It did not come easy!

It was...

long

painful

lonely

agonizing

emotional

convicting

Then there came Hope!

Now I realize I cannot search for anything but the One who has it ALL in His hands!

My...

husband

children

home

income

LIFE

It is ALL His and I know that I know that I know

He has plans to prosper us and to give us a hope and a future!

That is where my Hope is and how I have found the

Peace that passes ALLLLL understanding!

I am His and He is mine!

That is Amazing!

Don't try anymore to do it on your own!

It won't work!

His plan is best

Rest in that and find your hope in the cross

It is ALL you need

Trials

Trials can...

• Destroy us
• weaken us
• leave us desperate and alone
• leave us feeling sorry for ourselves
• seclude us
• depress us

OR

Trials can...

• refine us
• strengthen us
• break us of our selfishness
• help us look to others
• make us able to seek those to support us
• lift us up to the only who has the strength to carry us

It is not fun to go through trials.  (We have had our share lately!)  It is what we do with our trials that leads to what the outcome will be.  We can sit and pout and complain to God (believe me, I have done that!) or we can continually remind ourselves what the bible says and know that it IS truth! 

When we are truly desperate, we hopefully will learn what God is trying to teach us...we CANNOT do ANYTHING without Him!  When we give all of our brokenness to Him and surrender it and lay it at His feet, He can then pick up the pieces and do what He desires.  I did this but it was after MUCH kicking and screaming!  I would like to say that I have taken everything in stride and just watched with a trusting heart, everything unfold.  Not so!  I had some pity parties and times of just plain UGLY moments of flesh!  I have reacted in ways to my children and husband that I am not proud of!  I had to come to a place that I knew my own idea's were NOT working!  I finally came to the point that all of my resources were totally gone!  I had no more answers and I was weary of doing it on my own.  I have always desired to be a living sacrifice and I really began praying that months ago.  Little did I know that the path to that would mean giving it ALL up to Him!  I thought I was okay with that! But little by little, God began to show me of my pride and selfishness and weed out the things that were getting in the way of a true living-sacrifice to Him.  Painful, yes!  However, I am free now!  Brokenness and surrender led me to a place of humility and exposure.  I can say that there is NOT one thing in my life that I care if it is exposed!  To God or to anyone!  I have nothing  more to hide, nothing to defend, nothing to do but give my life to Him.  He has taken it all!  Does that mean I am perfect and the refining process won't continue?  Absolutely not!  But I am determined through Christ, that I will be broken before Him and continue to see His face and heart. 

Christ died for us!  He took ALL of our sin and brokenness and hung it on the cross!  It is not for us to carry!  He never intends for us to.  It is our choice what we do with the trials that surround us.  Allow Him to carry it or try to carry it ourselves.  I have done both!  I give you my word, it is best to give it to Him to carry!  Try it, you won't be let down!  Rest in Him and He will carry you!

Psalm 73:28

But it is good for me to draw near to God; I have put my trust in the Lord GOD, That I may declare all Your works.

Philippians 1:6

being confident of this very thing, that He who has begun a good work in you will complete it until the day of Jesus Christ;



FREE good home?

I have heard of "Free to Good Home", but until now, never heard of "Free Good Home"!  Let me explain...We have a new place to live.  Not a new home but new to us!  It is probably to date, one of my favorite places we have lived.  (We did live in a small community years ago that had a home I would say comes in first.)  There is quite a story behind this "new" home!  It is not just a house to me!  We have made it a "home" because God has given it to us to live for a time!  It was a gift from him for this chapter in our lives.  The circumstances are amazing, actually.  At the last moment, a dear woman realized that our family would be homeless and offered her home to us free of charge for as long as we need it.  Can you believe it?!!!  For months we sat in our living room with a lurking foreclosure over our heads.  Although no way to pay the mortgage, there was always that thought and maybe some guilt or burden to pay it.  With that behind us as of January 18th, and NO way to change it, we sit here in our living room, from God, with no worry of being homeless!  We don't know how long we will be here but God has made an impossible situation beautiful!  There is a heavenly economy!  This lady who offered her home (the one we are living in right now), has also seen some things happen with her home.  It was vacant for some time and it was in need of some TLC!  An amazing organization came to us because of a friend of mine who knew we were in need, and redid the kitchen and other things that needed to be fixed FREE of charge.  I will get into more detail soon.  I am still trying to get pictures and my camera does not want to get along with my computer since the move.  So I will post them soon! 

Thank you for your many prayers!  Continue!  We are still in need of a job.  We are settling in to our new home and LOVING it!  We do have a dream of another home, someday!  But God has been so good to us and held us up in a very desperate time!  He simply is AWESOME!  Trust Him!  He IS who He says He is and He does what He says He is going to do!  He takes care of His children!

Week in review...

This week seemed to last forever!

Full of appointments (expected and unexpected)

Broken teeth (they WILL now wear mouth guards when playing football with their brothers)

cut open lip (at a doctor's appointment when that happened!)

chicken pox
broken car belt
dishwasher motor...fried

music lessons

music rehearsals for Christmas

eating some "humble pie"

headaches

preparation for speaking at a women's gathering

talking with teenagers about life decisions

scheduling my December that is WAY to full

packing

meal preparations

errands

trying to decide if I am going to put up Christmas decorations this year

listening to the moans and groans when I told the kids of that idea

guess I will be doing that this weekend

cluttered mind

knowing I need to give my cares to the One who cares for me

Trying to figure out why that is so hard sometimes

realizing it's because I have let "life" get in the way of my time with Him

Can't go there!

Been there before!

NOT pretty!

So...

Maybe next week won't feel so long!

Oh yes, there will be "life"

but if I stay focused on Him,

not my daily surroundings...

(that seriously make my head spin at times!)

THEN...

even if my week IS long,

I won't even notice!

I will be doing it all for Him!

I kinda' forgot that part this week!

Have you ever done that?

Trust, Comfort and Thanksgiving

When all that you know and are comfortable with, is about to change,

you REALLY begin to start looking at what IS TRULY important!

This Thanksgving was probably one of the most spiritual for me!

We started out going through the story of Thanksgiving with our kids and how God was the center of it!  Much reason to celebrate!  ( If only that were the way this country was now!)

  We talked about how hard it must have been for those pilgrims! 

 They too, left all that they knew in search of something greater and trusted God for their needs!  They went through many trials and suffered much but they continued on!  God blessed them and brought them through! 

We decided that in the coming weeks, that is what we must do! 

 Perservere! 

Wait and watch and see what God will do! He knows where we are going to live! 

 In that waiting, we will trust, do the things that God has us do and not get weary. 

 And...

if we do get weary in the waiting, we know that God will strengthen us!

The outcome for the pilgrims was incredible because they knew who they had on their side!

The ever-present, unfailing, God!

I too, was reminded this Thanksgiving that all that I have is His and I can leave it in His hands because He is the same yesterday, today and forever!

I don't know what the future holds, none of us do!

  But my children look to us to show them and they trust us without any doubt! 

 They run and play without a care in the world knowing that we will feed them, clothe them, and tell them of Jesus love!

That is what we must do!

  I have been reminded this past week with all that around me seems to be caving in, that my God CAN be trusted and as a child, I am to leave it my Father's hands!  He will provide!

Oh I am so Thankful!

Thoughts of Thanks

This year I look back and we have been through some "stuff"!  I realized there are 2 ways to look at things.  You can sit back and complain about all the things you DON'T have OR look at all the things you DO have and realize how much favor and blessing you have on your life from God.  Everyday I can find many things that I am thankful for!  I am overwhelmed with the thought that my Heavenly Father loves me so much, that He has decided to pour out continual blessings in my life!  Hearing of my children's trip while they were in Africa also placed a contentment in my heart that makes me realize just how much we do have and that we are a blessed people!  I will never look at things the same way!

I am thankful for...

healthy children...a loving husband...loving parents...a place to live...appliances...pillows and blankets...beds...a bible to read whenever I want ...ability to learn ...electricity and water...the ability to feed 12 tummies...grocery stores...soap...an abundance of friends...music...safety...cars...smiles on children's faces...birthday's...dates with my hubby...dates with my children...talks with my daughters...a furnace...an 18 year old who still likes mom to give him hugs...hugs and kisses in general...socks...closet full of clothes ...people giving us clothes...thrift stores..children who love God!

A God who never gives up on me!
HIS...

 Extreme Mercy

Extravagant Grace

Unwavoring Acceptance

Unconditional love

Forgiveness

Hope that He holds my future

When we look at the things that we have, it gives us reason to celebrate and look at things differently!  We can rejoice and know that we are a blessed people.  Even when things around us are going crazy, it is ALWAYS possible to see the good if we choose to do so. 

Write a list, I ensure you, it will brighten your day and it will make your load seem a little lighter!

Make it a habbit to have..

THOUGHTS OF THANKS!

Coming this week...

my daughter will be sharing her journey to Africa!  Stay tuned!

More about Halloween

Because I detest this day soooooo very much, here is some more info on why we (American's) have adopted some of the traditions of Halloween and where they have derived from.  It took conviction and seeking on my part, to find these things and it has set me free!  Even bobbing for apples has a root of evil!  Please read! 

Halloween Origins and Customs

History traces Halloween back to the ancient religion of the Celtics in Ireland. The Celtic people were very conscious of the spiritual world and had their own ideas of how they could gain access to it - such as by helping their over 300 gods to defeat their enemies in battle, or by imitating the gods in showing cleverness and cunning.


Their two main feasts were Beltane at the beginning of summer (May 1), and Samhain (pronounced Sah-ween) at the end of summer (Nov. 1). They believed Samhain was a time when the division between the two worlds became very thin, when hostile supernatural forces were active and ghosts and spirits were free to wander as they wished.

Read the rest HERE...

The Scariest Thing You Can Do This Time of Year

I HATE this time of year!  Well, actually I LOVE fall but the dreaded Halloween, I cannot stand!  I will not take part in it EVER and it saddens me so that others do!  We cannot make take lightly the powers of darkness.  My kids will never think trick-or-treating is fun and dressing up will not happen!  (Ok, maybe dress-up in the daily fun kind of way!  But not for Halloween!)  This is my conviction and this writing pretty much sums it up!

The Scariest Thing You Can Do This Halloween

The fear of the Lord is to hate evil. (Proverbs 8:13)
By Doug Phillips
Our country is in the grip of a fear crisis. The tension because of this fear is almost palpable. There is fear over the election, fear over the economy, and fear over hundreds of other issues ranging from the environment to terrorism.

For more, go HERE...

Brokenness

It is no secret, I have been through a journey the past year!  If you have read my blog long, or have not, just go back and look at my previous posts.  The journey feels long some days.  I am so very thankful for the chastening of the Lord, however!  It is through these times, that my need for Him can be revealed. 

 Before this journey, I never thought of myself as a proud person.  I know humans in general, struggle with it, but I did not think it was a HUGE issue with me.  Well, just as everything else in my life that I THINK I don't have an issue with, God is so faithful (Although I am not that eager at the time!) to reveal the things I DO need to work on.  Even just a little of something we struggle with, if not dealt with, can become a real battle at some point.  This past few weeks, He has shown me my pride issues and allowed me to see that I need to be broken before others and Christ if He is to fulfill His plan in my life.

I read a book. Actually three!  I STRONGLY recommend them!  Through these books, God changed my life!   You can buy them as a trilogy now.  You can buy it HERE.  It is 'Surrender', 'Brokenness', and 'Holiness'.  They are written by Nancy Leigh DeMoss.   In the book, 'Brokenness', She listed several things for the reader to show the difference of a broken person and a proud person.  I would LOVE to list all of them, but there were many, so I am going to share a few that really convicted me:

• PROUD PEOPLE FOCUS ON THE FAILURES OF OTHERS AND CAN READILY POINT OUT THOSE FAULTS ~ Broken people are more conscious of their own spiritual need than of anyone else's.
• PROUD PEOPLE HAVE TO PROVE THEY ARE RIGHT-THEY HAVE TO GET THE LAST WORD ~ Broken people are willing to yeild the right to be right.
• PROUD PEOPLE ARE SELF-PROTECTIVE OF THEIR TIME, THEIR RIGHTS, AND THEIR REPUTATION. ~ Broken people are self-denying and self-sacrificing.
• PROUD PEOPLE CRAVE SELF-ADVANCEMENT ~ Broken people desire to promote others.
• PROUD PEOPLE ARE ELATED BY PRAISE AND DEFLATED BY CRITISCISM ~ Broken people know that any praise of their accomplishments belongs to the Lord and that criticism can help them grow into spiritual maturity.
• PROUD PEOPLE ARE QUICK TO BLAME OTHERS ~ Broken people accept personal responsibility and can acknowledge where they were wrong in a situation. 
• PROUD PEOPLE ARE REMORSEFUL OVER THEIR SIN-SORRY THAT THEY GOT CAUGHT OR FOUND OUT ~ Broken prople are truly repentant over their sin, and the evidence of their repentance is that they forsake the sin.
• PROUD PEOPLE COMPARE THEMSELVES WITH OTHERS AND FEEL WORTHY OF RESPECT ~ Broken people compare themselves with the holiness of God and feel a desperate need for His mercy.

Anything hit home?  WAY to many for me!  As I read the list in the book, I almost did not go to the next one because there was so much conviction.  Through that however, God began to reveal to me my need for brokenness.  So, my next question to God was, "Father, how do I get from where I am now, to where YOU desire me to be?"  His answer was that I need HIM!  I also needed to look back and ask the Holy Spirit to guide me by confessing my weaknesses to others from my past and also asking for others to forgive me.  OH BOY!  That is not easy!  Yeah, fine and easy to teach it to my kids, but now I AM supposed to do it?!  UGH!  James 4:10 says ~ Humble yourself in the sight of the Lord, and He will lift you up"  God desires to see a willing heart that is hungry for His ways.  His ways are contrary to our flesh.  When we do FINALLY give in to pride and decide to take the road of humility, God begins to work.  It is maybe the most important thing to being a Christian.  Ask yourself, "Am I a BROKEN christian?" 

I really never thought about how broken I was.  Since God has shown me my pride, I have learned to walk daily in humbleness.  Now, trust me, it is not easy and I battle it many times!  I LOVE to be right!  Just ask any of my family members!  I can now, give in to a debate and either just be quiet or admit the other person is right!  (That IS God!)  Try being broken before others and watch what God does!  Psalm 51:17 ~ My sacrifice, O God, is a broken spirit; a broken and contrite heart, you, God, will not despise.   I DO NOT want my Heavenly Father to despise me!  I desire His blessing, His love and I long to see His heart! 

If you desire to seek Him more and move closer to His heart, become a broken christian!  It's a step that will lead to total humility!  Proverbs 11:2 ~  When pride comes, then comes disgrace, but with humility comes wisdom.  God's wisdom will lead you bless you in ways you cannot believe!  You will begin to look to others and what you can do for them unstead of what everyone needs to do for you!  There is such freedom in that! 

Will you walk in pride or humblesness?