Not "my child" Monday

These are some things that I have endured that teach me humbleness and to laugh. Although sometimes not right away!:) Clink on the box above to see more "Not Me's"!

It was not my children who ALL got the stomach flu this past week! No, not all 10 kids were regurgitating everywhere! My oldest daughter DID NOT sit on the couch moaning that she did not feel good and I did not tell her she better go up to the porcelain throne in case she "might" throw up! It was not her that decided she would be okay and she WAS NOT sitting 12 inches away from me and NOT the porcelain throne when she decided to lose her dinner not all over her lap and not all over the couch and no way was the entire family in the same room and they would have never had to witness the whole thing! They did not immediately cover their noses and did not all gasp at the same time yelling ewwwwww it stinks! I did not have to clean it all up! That would have been way to gross and I would not have been gagging myself when I was not scrubbing and scrubbing the upholstery! Febreeze surely WOULD have worked! No, not with the stomach flu, I guess! Surely I cleaned it up while happily singing, "This is The Day The Lord Has Made." I was not angry while I was doing it, that would be a BAD mother!

It was not my 18 month old child who came to me with slobber running down his chin while he was chewing on something. I did not pull that something out of his mouth only to find a piece of old, been chewed many times, and with dog hair alllll over it, piece of gum! And he did not cry because he wanted it back in his mouth! My kids would know their chewed gum goes in the garbage, right?! Or DID they put it in the garbage and my 18 month old get it out of there! Things that make ya go HMMMM! I would certainly have my eye on that little guy and know every move he makes!

My 6 year old did not pull the fire alarm while we were eating at a restaurant! I did not pick a quiet place in the corner to escape the stares so I could nurse the baby in a half private area. The ENTIRE restaurant did not totally turn their heads in synchronized rhythm to the shrieking sound over in the "private" corner while I had JUST started to lift my shirt up to nurse. It was not one of those alarms that you have to turn off with a key and we did not have to wait for the manager to walk ALLLL the way from the front to the secluded corner in the back to turn it off! My brother did not stand up and yell across the restaurant, "Shows over, false alarm! Everyone is okay!" We did not leave a half hour later and the whole restaurant did not turn their heads to watch us leave!

Can you come up with anything your kids did that maybe embarrassed you? You are not alone!

Not "my child" Monday

It was not my child that stripped down in front of everyone at the water park and ran to me asking him where his shirt was! I am sure I taught him to cover his privates not let the whole world see his cute little behind!

My children would not have gone swimming at the water park this weekend after we broke records in July for record low temps! Surely they did not swim when it was 60 degrees and windy! (And Mckmama thinks she lives in the frozen tundra :) )

My child did have to walk around in wet swimming trunks for the rest of the day because their mom would not have thought the weather would surely warm up and think they would not need other clothes! I would have had more empathy for my children than that!

It was not my 7 year old that after 3 hours of walking around the amusement park that dad looked at his feet and asked me if I knew his shoes did not match. He innocently said, "but mom, I could not find the other one to either of them." He did not walk around all day like that! Surely my child did not feel I was to busy loading up the other kids that he could not ask me to help him find the other one!

My 3 year old did not stand in a food line with me only to notice he was standing there with his hands all the way in his pants. And I did not make him reach up to get a napkin off of the counter right after he took his hands out! I would have thought quicker realizing that people behind me may not have wanted to take a napkin for themselves after watching what just happened!

My child DID not just look at me across the crowded amusement park running over to me holding himself yelling, "I have to go potty, mom, I couldn't hold it!" Other people were not staring and laughing and looking directly at me to see my reaction!

My child did not potty his pants and I did not act like it was just from the water rides and hope that is what everyone else thought even though there was a triangle shaped wet spot on the crotch of his pants and the rest of his body was totally dry! I did not let him sit in his stroller to try and make it less obvious.

I did not watch my child pick up dirty, ant infested candy off the ground, put it in his mouth and I not make it over to him in time before he started chewing! Extra protein and dirt never hurt anyone right?!

If my children went to an amusement park, surely they would have appreciated that we went at all and NOT complained when we had to go home after being there for 8 hours, freezing cold, and exhausted. Okay, it was not me who was freezing and exhausted after going to the amusement park with 10 kids and a newborn and was not me that wanted to leave! I would have been nicer than that and not put myself first! I am NOT that selfish!

Not Me Monday

Welcome to Not Me! Monday! This blog carnival was created by MckMama. You can head over to her blog to read what she and everyone else have not been doing this week.
This takes much creativity to post a Not Me Monday, but this week, I had some moments that I thought would make a good edition for this weeks laughs.

It was not me that sat along the side of the road in a mini van that had to have reached over one hundred degrees with the humidity and the temperature combined with my 14 year old, 5 and 7 year old, and 3 week old. I do not do heat!

It was not possible that I called my husband to come get us and 15 minutes later after he started out I called him back to tell him to turn around because I got the car started and we were on or way home once again. Surely I would not have made a spur of the moment decision like that!

I would not have ended up along side of the highway AGAIN after my car had died again in the unbearable heat.

I would have never decided to just sit for a few minutes to see if I could get it to start instead of calling my husband to turn around to come get us.

It would not be possible that for the next 45 minutes I would go 10 miles while my car died and restarted. I would have not been that stubborn to try to make it home when I had over 50 miles to go so we did not have to pay to get it towed!!

The last decision I finally made to call my husband back to come and get us WAS NOT made when the car was TOTALLY dead.

He would not have taken 1 hour and 30 minutes to come get us while we were not starring at an exit sign 3 yards away from us to the next town but still to far to walk to with all the kids and no stroller.

We were not starring at a Comfort Suites Hotel Sign, Wal-mart sign and a gas station while we sat in our toaster on wheels fanning ourselves with children's board books to keep the swarming bugs away and to attempt to cool off.

It was not me who stuck my head out the window like a dog every time a subtle breeze blew by!

Surely the cars that flew by in their air-conditioned, bug free cars would have stopped to see if we needed help or at the very least called a state trooper to come check on us!

It is not this country I live in that not ONE person stopped to try and help us in over an hour and a half!! A State Trooper DID NOT drive by and do nothing!

My husband did not come with ALL my other children AFTER he stopped to get gas, drop one of our kids friends off at their house while I was sitting in a toaster on wheels with bugs swarming everywhere and the ability to open only 2 windows because I was worried about flying debris from traffic flying by.

It was not my husband that got our car started and got home with me following him and never had it die ONCE! He WOULD not have called me on his cell phone jokingly asking me why I was driving so slow!

If all this happened to me, I would never go on the high-way again with that stupid car! (I did not just say stupid because that word is not allowed in our home) Then I would be a hypocrite!

Not Me Monday

Welcome to Not Me! Monday! This blog carnival was created by MckMama. You can head over to her blog to read what she and everyone else have not been doing this week.

Okay guys, you want honesty, here it is! Enjoy taking part in my agony of the happenings of the week!

It is not me who had to send my 5 year old outside with a paper towel and bag because he decided to take a dump under our screened in porch! I know we have indoor plumbing and he surely has figured that out!

Two days later it was not my same child that urinated on our screened in porch because his brother told him too.

I did not witness my 14 month old bringing the inside bucket of my potty training sons potty chair up to his mouth like it was a big cup! (I will not even say what was in it. Let your imagination run wild!)

It is not me who just admitted that really gross information. I am too modest for that! Others would then think I don't know what I am doing raising all these boys!

It is not me who DOES wonder how to raise boys! I would surely not expect them to mark their territory! I would not look at them as barbaric! They came from MY womb.

It is not me who had to completely take my 3 and 4 year olds hair (on MOTHER'S DAY)to the scalp because they decided to take a pair of scissors and cut "polka dots" into each others hair.

It is not me who is still alive and as of now, has no heart condition after all the things that have happened to me this week in my life with boys!

No, I still cannot believe I admitted all this stuff! I would never let ANYONE know how disgusting my beauiful cherubs really are!

No, surely my mother will not read this posting! She had only me to clean up after! I NEVER bathed 2 times a day and it is not me who would not wear clothes more than 8 hours on my body because anything longer would mean they would have too many dead skin cells on them! (I DO NOT have a germ phobia!)

Yes, I did clean everything up and use Lysol, mom! :)

"Not Me Monday"

Welcome to Not Me! Monday! This blog carnival was created by MckMama. You can head over to her blog to read what she and everyone else have not been doing this week.


Here is my contribution for "Not Me Monday"

I do not have 7 boys! Surely God knows I could NEVER handle that many bodies full of testosterone under MY roof!

It was not me who witnessed everyone fleeing from the park when we showed up in our 15 passenger van because people thought it was the "Shock and Awe" of '09 in our town. I would never have caused others to run for their lives just because MY family was invading! And if that were true, I would never have stayed in my van for a few extra minutes to hideout making sure no-one could see it was ME who was in charge of the WHOLE clan!

It is not me who does not like animals that has 3 hamsters, 10 rabbits, 2 guinea pigs, 1 cat, and a dog residing in our home! I could not handle the mess!

It is not me who just witnessed my 15 month old son putting a dirty wipe in his mouth that feel out of a dirty diaper on the way to the trash! I would have seen that drop! Then I would be inclined to call the poison control center to make sure he would be okay! (After I fainted!)

I did not take my 15 year old son to get his driving permit! I AM NOT old enough to have a child driving! That would mean in the next half of his life, I would be old enough to be a grandma! Nope, not me!

It is not me who let my 10 year old keep 2 caterpillars in her room ALL winter long in a plastic box wtih dirt while they "hibernated". Then I would go to bed every night wondering if they had escaped!

I know I did not find my 8 year old sneaking a fruit snack and handful of crackers to bed one night and he DID not hide the crackers under his pillow! Then there would be crushed crackers all over that would fall down to his brothers bed because they share a bunk bed! And I did not find the cracker crumbs and a fruit snack in his brothers hair in the morning ground into his scalp and stuck to his hair. My dear sweet boy, would not go behind by back like that!

And SURELY I am not pregnant with my 11th child! I am sure God knows that is too big of a responsibility for me! And if that were true, thank goodness He knows that for me that is too big of a responsibility but with Him, all things are possible!