I'm not much for making New Year's resolutions. Maybe it's because I'm scared of failure :) but for the most part, I just know that I need to seek God daily and see what He has for me daily and not focus on the long term. Although as a whole, the long term is what I want to look back on and see that I have changed ~ for the better! However, it usually takes me changing MY ways on a DAILY basis! As I have looked back on the previous year I began to wonder where I am spiritually compared to where I was a year ago.
As I thought about these questions, some I can answer more easily than others. I am finding out this year, He decided I needed some work and started me out with a difficult one! (I actually did not see that I really had much of a problem!) But pride always cometh before every fall! :) he began to show me I was not happily and willingly submitting! To my God, and my husband. The realization of how I just might not be where I need to be in that area, broke me! I began to sadly see how my short, quick temembered responses to my husband hurt him, how I would submit, but do it with a grudging heart. The times I would say, "No, I want
you to decide honey!" But then quickly say without being asked, "MY personal opinion is..." How often I would TELL him to make a decisoin, but how often I would really want control of his answer! In other words to do what
I wanted. What that really was saying is I do not trust him and in return, I do not trust God! I began to realize it is really not about what I want or what I like or what is easy! It is about letting my husband be the leader of our home. And because he is a Godly man, I need to
trust his decisions and allow him to make them without me manupulating him into doing things my way! You see, I like to be in control! I have certain ways that
I like to do things and he just does not...well...do things the way I would do them
most some of the time! But that does not make me right! In fact, more often than not, I have found that HIS way has turned out to be the better way! Surprise, surprise! (My guess is, God knew what He was doing when He made my husband the leader of our home and for me to be under his submission!) Hmmm..... imagine that! I am so blessed to have a man who
does ask my opinion and takes to heart
my take on things, BUT to allow HIM to have the final say and for him to truly know and believe that, is just plain hard sometimes! But the blessing that has followed has been incredible! My children used to be so confused! How can they learn to trust their daddy if their mom does not! How can my girls learn to trust their husbands someday and bring blessing to them, IF they don't see their own mom submitting to her husband? How can they learn to trust and submit to their parents if they have not seen ME submit to God and know that HE can be trusted? Submission has eternal ramifications if you choose to do it or not! It is not always easy, but is ALWAYS best! It will bring blessing to your entire family for the day AND the years to come!
James 4:7&8 ~ Therefore submit to God. Resist the devil and he will flee from you! Draw near to God, and He will draw near to you
As the new year begins, I have been shown gently by my God, that I need to give in to MY ways and go HIS way! A pretty hard but wonderful way to start off the year! Can't wait to see what the coming year holds!
