Weariness and fear, OH MY!

I feel like this pregnancy is the longest I have ever been through.  The last 6 weeks are ALWAYS miserable for me, but this has been not only a strain physically, but mentally also!  That may be why I am choosing to blog about it so often.  But it does help to get it out and one of the ways I do that is by writing. 


So if you care not to read about it, I understand!  Just click on the little 'x' in the corner of your screen and move on! :)  If you want to read an update, here it is:


I have been on insulin for my gestational diabetes for 5 days now.  It is a journey I did not want to take! I have never had to deal with this any other pregnancy.  I wanted to be strong like that again!  The day before I started giving myself shots, I cried, LOTS!  My sister was a diabetic and I remember a few times seeing her lay on the floor because her sugar either went to high or to low and she would pass out. Always an emergency situation!  I was terrified that would happen to me!  I kept going over in my mind my options.  If I took the insulin and something happened to my baby, I would NEVER forgive myself.  However, if I decided not to take it out of fear, and something happened to her, I would NEVER forgive myself either.  It was a no win situation!  Either way, I knew that it was out of my hands.  I just kept seeing my blood sugar readings continuing to increase and it had nothing to do with my diet.  I was following my diet and eating NO sugary foods, (my daughter even made cinnamon rolls last Saturday morning, and I sat with my granola cereal!)  It really has not been all that difficult because I don't like sweets when I am pregnant anyway!  So diet was not helping and I could see that.  The placenta later in pregnancy, decreases the mother's ability to process insulin.  In most cases, a mother's body can make-up for it and there are no problem's but in women who have gestational diabetes, like me, our bodies can't do it for ourselves without some intervention.  Understanding all of that, I decided it was best to take insulin shots.  A VERY small amount 4 times a day.  Well, I have already gotten used to poking my finger 4 times a day so now I have to poke my thigh 4 times a day also.  It actually is no big deal.  The doctor did increase my insulin dosage yesterday because my levels were still to high.  This morning, my readings are perfect so we are hoping that we finally have it under control.  I have non-stress tests weekly and ultra-sounds every other week to check baby size.  She seems to be in the 70th percentile range right now.  Bigger than the average but bearable!


Now, onto the spiritual side of all this.  I was in church Sunday and just quietly worshipping and focusing on God.  The tears began to flow and a cleansing began to take place.  As most of you know, I am a worrier.  God has really been helping me in this area but I have really had to battle that fear again with this gestational diabetes thing.  I have been paranoid and at times let it consume me!  I knew it and allowed God to take over Sunday morning again. ( I'm a little slow with that sometimes!)  Then the neatest thing happened.  As I was sitting there with tears flowing down my cheeks, cleansing my spirit, a little boy began to sing the song.  It was so beautiful!  The tears rolled down faster as He began to move in my heart because of that little boy singing.  God gently whispered to my spirit, "That sweet baby girl is in my hands just as you are!"  I had to be reminded that all the fear I was feeling was not His plan!  He had to remind me that He knows her and me and He placed her inside of me and is watching over her.  Boy did I need that!  I felt like a huge burden had been lifted all because of Jesus cleansing touch!


So, for the next 4-5 weeks, I am going to allow my heavenly Father to increase His strength in my spirit, as my flesh feels weaker and weaker.  I do want to hold this baby in my arms and I can't wait until that day.  When it is time, she will be!  I am so thankful I am not in this alone and I get this chance to help Him grow another little miracle!  What a joy and privilege!


I am praying for God to let me know when she is better off outside of my womb then inside, by putting my body into labor.  When that time comes, I will know and I am at peace with that!  I would appreciate your prayers also! 


There, I feel better! :)

websights I use

I have always found it helpful to hear what other people are using in their lives to help them.  These are some websights I thought I would share and hopefully you may enjoy some of them for yourself!

http://www.cottonbabies.com/~ this is where I get ALL my cloth diapers and detergant for the diapers!  Free and FAST shipping!


http://www.homeschoolmath.net/~ I love this for free worksheets for homeschooling


http://www.generationcedar.com/~ I love their homemade soaps and the content of her blog


http://www.myutmost.org/~ this is my daily devotion spot


http://www.christianbook.com/~ I order books for my Nook here


http://avent.com/~ I use their products all the time!  LOVE their breast pump!


http://www.eagleswingsed.com/~ the only curriculumm I ever have bought and continue to buy, is from here


http://www.babycenter.com/~ this has a week by week calender of how baby is growing


http://simplycharlottemason.com/~ her idea's on homeschooling are so helpful to the way we homeschool


http://www.nogreaterjoy.org/~ I began reading their books on child training years ago and continue to benefit from them.  Some of their books have literally changed my life!


http://www.hslda.org/~ this is our legal reference we use and they have lots of info for homeschooling parents


http://www.heavensinspirations.com/~ I use this for family devotions before school for our little ones


http://pbskids.org/~ my kids like to play games on here and they learn too!


http://www.moorefoundation.com/~ this was my first introduction to theme teaching when I started homeschooling my oldest and we still use it today!

http://www.enchantedlearning.com/~ great, simple, and cheap crafts for kids

http://www.visionforum.com/~ this is a wonderful resource for homeschooling and raising children for Christ

http://www.highlandsministriesonline.org/~ another great resource and love his words of wisdom!


These are just a few that I use often.  Please feel free to leave some idea's for me!  I would love to see what you use!

What I do

My weeks are filled with this:

...spilled milk or something, at least once a day
...sticky chairs
...cleaning food off of walls
...cleaning gum off of carpet
...wiping faces, noses and other body parts
...folding at least 4 loads of laundry a day
...spraying floors and toilets at least 3 times a day because little boys just don't aim right!
...changing sheets on 6 beds (the older kids can do theirs themselves)
...scraping the fridge because who knows what was spilled
...vacuuming 2 times a day
...grocery store trips
...washing diapers
...planning 21 meals for 13 people
...organizing schedules to make sure everyone gets where they need to be
...checking school work
...inspecting serving charts
...balancing my time with kids and hubby
...teaching bible verses
...giving WAY to many kisses to begin counting
...getting WAY to many kisses to begin counting
...being a detective
...growing a baby
...taking pictures
...being an encourager to my hubby
...cutting MANY fingernails/toenails
...praying LOTS
...learning to laugh when I want to cry
...realizing that someday, I am gonna miss all this!

Foto Friday~ Here she is!

I can't figure out how to scan these pics much better so I thought this is better then nothing!
 Had to show off our sweet little GIRL!
Don't you just love the chubby cheeks!
The first picture you can see her leg sticking straight up with her foot by her forehead.
It will be so fun to see how close these look to her first real baby picture in about 6 weeks!!

Have a GREAT weekend!

Thankful for Food Thursday

I always make a special breakfast on Saturday mornings.  This is great for company or just for those special mornings when you are not in a hurry!  Don't let all the directions scare you.  It is very simple!  If I can do it, anyone can! :)

Danish Pastry

Ingredients:

2 cups unsalted butter, softened
2/3 cup all-purpose flour
2 1/2 cups milk
1/2 cup white sugar
2 teaspoons salt
4 1/2 teaspoons active dry yeast
8 cups all-purpose flour
2 eggs
1 teaspoon lemon extract
1 teaspoon almond extract

Directions:
1.In a medium bowl, cream together the butter and 2/3 cup of flour. Divide into 2 equal parts, and roll each half between 2 pieces of waxed paper into a 6 x12 inch sheet. Refrigerate.

2.In a large bowl, mix together the dry yeast and 3 cups of the remaining flour. In a small saucepan over medium heat, combine the milk, sugar and salt. Heat to 115 degrees F (43 degrees C), or just warm, but not hot to the touch. Mix the warm milk mixture into the flour and yeast along with the eggs, and lemon and almond extracts. Stir for 3 minutes. Knead in the remaining flour 1/2 cup at a time until the dough is firm and pliable. Set aside to rest until double in size.

3.Cut the dough in half, and roll each half out to a 14 inch square. Place one sheet of the cold butter onto each piece of dough, and fold the dough over it like the cover of a book. Seal edges by pressing with fingers. Roll each piece out to a 20x 12 inch rectangle, then fold into thirds by folding the long sides in over the center. Repeat rolling into a large rectangle, and folding into thirds. Wrap in plastic and refrigerate for at least 30 minutes.

4.Remove from the refrigerator one at a time, and roll and fold each piece two more times. Return to the refrigerator to chill again before shaping. If the butter gets too warm, the dough will become difficult to manage.

5.To make danishes, roll the dough out to 1/4 inch thickness. The dough can be cut into squares, with a filling placed in the center. Fold 2 of the corners over the center to form a filled diamond shape. Or, fold the piece in half, cut into 1 inch strips, stretch, twist and roll into a spiral. Place a dollop of preserves or other filling in the center. Place danishes on an ungreased baking sheet, and let rise until doubled. Preheat the oven to 450 degrees F (220 degrees C). Danishes can be brushed with egg white for a shiny finish.

6.Bake for 8 to 10 minutes in the preheated oven, or until the bottoms are golden brown.

Enjoy!

Book ends

For just a few more weeks,
these are my "book ends".
There is quite a bond between the oldest and the youngest!
SO fun to watch!

(Yes, I do actually put clothes on the youngest, but sometimes it just takes a bit longer to get from only a diaper to fully clothed when you are number 11!)

I am so convicted!

INFERIOR MISGIVINGS ABOUT JESUS
 

This was my daily devotion from Oswald Chambers over the weekend and it just really convicted me.  Thought I would share:

"Sir, Thou hast nothing to draw with." John 4:11


"I am impressed with the wonder of what God says, but He cannot expect me really to live it out in the details of my life!" When it comes to facing Jesus Christ on His own merits, our attitude is one of pious superiority - Your ideals are high and they impress us, but in touch with actual things, it cannot be done. Each of us thinks about Jesus in this way in some particular. These misgivings about Jesus start from the amused questions put to us when we talk of our transactions with God - Where are you going to get your money from? How are you going to be looked after? Or they start from ourselves when we tell Jesus that our case is a bit too hard for Him. It is all very well to say "Trust in the Lord," but a man must live, and Jesus has nothing to draw with - nothing whereby to give us these things. Beware of the pious fraud in you which says - I have no misgivings about Jesus, only about myself. None of us ever had misgivings about ourselves; we know exactly what we cannot do, but we do have misgivings about Jesus. We are rather hurt at the idea that He can do what we cannot.


My misgivings arise from the fact that I ransack my own person to find out how He will be able to do it. My questions spring from the depths of my own inferiority. If I detect these misgivings in myself, let me bring them to the light and confess them - "Lord, I have had misgivings about Thee, I have not believed in Thy wits apart from my own; I have not believed in Thine almighty power apart from my finite understanding of it." 

WOW!!

Foto Friday on Monday

Just not time last week to get to Foto-Friday,
 ...and this is why!
The quick explanation is I have boys!
AND
BOYS WILL BE BOYS!
Now, for a little more detail

This boy, decided a tumble down a sledding hill WITHOUT a sled would be fun...

And this little boy, gave us a WHOLE new meaning to the song/book, 'No More Monkeys Jumping On the Bed', when him and his brother decided to do just that!

JUMP ON THE BED!

Fun, unless you get pushed off and your head collides with the corner of a dresser on your way off of the bed!

Mom was not home for this one!  

15 year old was babysitting and I am SO proud of how she handled everything!

Blood EVERYWHERE and she kept it all together and we made it to the ER just fine.

Well, okay DAD made it to the ER with him just fine!

Ironically, I was taking my NON-stress test at the hospital.

Needless to say, the test showed the baby AND mom were pretty much stressed after the phone call we received stating there was blood every where and his skull could be seen!

She was NOT exaggerating!  All layers were cut through and his skull WAS showing!

As the years go by and I become more of a  'seasoned' mother, I am beginning to realize that eventually not much is going to shock me as the years continue!

Life with boys!  I really do love it!