Fallin' fun

 The final really IDEAL weather is behind us for another year
So over the weekend we took every advantage of it!
We had fun
 roastin'
 marshmallows

 S-w-ee-eet Stuff was
 sportin'
her little denim jacket while
sittin'
on grandma's lap

Big brother and little brothers
relaxin'
 on a swing with no seat!
(Good thing my 3 year old had on his boots for that!)
At least he had pants on!  He usually wears them with only his underwear on!

The boots help you swing WEEELY fast!  (That's HIS words!)

Just
swingin'
for awhile

And
 smilin'

And just plain
 lookin'
cute!

Throwin'
leaves is the best!

Well, actually

 jumpin'

 in them is the best!

I know that winter is upon us but we plan on

enjoyin'

the rest of fall while we can!

The Father's love...

All of my life I have had abandonment issues.  It started with my parents divorce and then continued throughout my life.  My sister died in a car accident years ago, my best friend moved away while we were in high school and so many other things I could write to "prove" that I should have this issue.

God tells me differently!  He WILL not leave me!  WAIT!  Is that true?  He won't EVER abandon me?  Even when I fail Him?!  Even when I do things over and over and seem to STILL struggle?!  I have always had a hard time believing that!  I can't let it penetrate to my heart!  Even now, while I am watching all of the things in our life unfold and I SEE Him working, I STILL have a very hard time grasping that He desires to be my Father and provide for me just because He loves me!  I cannot comprehend that just because I am His daughter,  I don't ever have to prove myself to Him or try to gain His approval.  You mean my hair does not have to be perfect, it doesn't matter what clothes I wear, or even how good of a mother and wife I am?!  I am in His heart just because I am me! 

I am sure that this is all part of the refining process that He is continuing to do in me.  It is so very hard for me to see that He desires good things for me!  Hard for me to understand that He would love for me to lay in His arms and comfort me!  He is for me and not against me!  So for this moment and hopefully here after, I will realize that my Heavenly Father :

 Is my encourager

Is my source of life

Will NEVER abandon me

only wants good for me

wants me to FULLY trust Him and Him alone

knows my heart and treasures it

sees me as a precious daughter

can satisfy ALL of my longings

can be trusted

can and WILL provide

gave me my precious children

WILL take care of them also

holds today AND my eternity in His hands

I have been reminded today, as I battle the thoughts of, " why do I deserve all that He has done and is doing?"  Then the humbleness and realization of the fact that I really DON'T deserve ANYTHING but He loves me and I am His child.  It has brought me to my knees in tears realizing that He is the Father I have always desired and that HE is who He says He is and that He loves me because of who I AM!  That is simply AWESOME and I am so thankful I have a Father I can rest in and loves me! 

Understand, my friend, that He is the same for you!  Just sit back and allow Him to love on you! There is nothing He wants more, than for us to soak up His love!  That is where we can fully understand His plan for us...you can be assured, that you can do nothing in yourself to deserve it!  It is just because He is God and you are His child!  

Just thinkin...



wondering what the next 3 weeks are going to hold

actually excited to watch it unfold

hey, that rhymed

I usually fear the unknown

Not anymore!

God's provision is amazing

He is a big God

There is nothing He cannot do

I will tell you when the entire story is complete

You are going to LOVE it!

the baby is 7 months old already!

she is scooting everywhere

I DO NOT like that stage

I have been through it 11 other times

I am thankful for new friends

I very much appreciate ALL my friends

my washing machine was out AGAIN

they fixed it but now it is SHREDDING our clothes

NOT COOL!

my oldest is having surgery next week

we have had an intestinal flu going around for 4 weeks

another one got it yesterday

NOT COOL either

It lasts 7 days

We could have it until Easter at the rate we are going

Only one gets it at a time

I have an incredible story that I am having a hard time wrapping my mind around

it really will blow you away

I just can't share it yet

I really am sorry!

It will be worth the wait

(No, I am not pregnant!)  :(

Brokenness

It is no secret, I have been through a journey the past year!  If you have read my blog long, or have not, just go back and look at my previous posts.  The journey feels long some days.  I am so very thankful for the chastening of the Lord, however!  It is through these times, that my need for Him can be revealed. 

 Before this journey, I never thought of myself as a proud person.  I know humans in general, struggle with it, but I did not think it was a HUGE issue with me.  Well, just as everything else in my life that I THINK I don't have an issue with, God is so faithful (Although I am not that eager at the time!) to reveal the things I DO need to work on.  Even just a little of something we struggle with, if not dealt with, can become a real battle at some point.  This past few weeks, He has shown me my pride issues and allowed me to see that I need to be broken before others and Christ if He is to fulfill His plan in my life.

I read a book. Actually three!  I STRONGLY recommend them!  Through these books, God changed my life!   You can buy them as a trilogy now.  You can buy it HERE.  It is 'Surrender', 'Brokenness', and 'Holiness'.  They are written by Nancy Leigh DeMoss.   In the book, 'Brokenness', She listed several things for the reader to show the difference of a broken person and a proud person.  I would LOVE to list all of them, but there were many, so I am going to share a few that really convicted me:

• PROUD PEOPLE FOCUS ON THE FAILURES OF OTHERS AND CAN READILY POINT OUT THOSE FAULTS ~ Broken people are more conscious of their own spiritual need than of anyone else's.
• PROUD PEOPLE HAVE TO PROVE THEY ARE RIGHT-THEY HAVE TO GET THE LAST WORD ~ Broken people are willing to yeild the right to be right.
• PROUD PEOPLE ARE SELF-PROTECTIVE OF THEIR TIME, THEIR RIGHTS, AND THEIR REPUTATION. ~ Broken people are self-denying and self-sacrificing.
• PROUD PEOPLE CRAVE SELF-ADVANCEMENT ~ Broken people desire to promote others.
• PROUD PEOPLE ARE ELATED BY PRAISE AND DEFLATED BY CRITISCISM ~ Broken people know that any praise of their accomplishments belongs to the Lord and that criticism can help them grow into spiritual maturity.
• PROUD PEOPLE ARE QUICK TO BLAME OTHERS ~ Broken people accept personal responsibility and can acknowledge where they were wrong in a situation. 
• PROUD PEOPLE ARE REMORSEFUL OVER THEIR SIN-SORRY THAT THEY GOT CAUGHT OR FOUND OUT ~ Broken prople are truly repentant over their sin, and the evidence of their repentance is that they forsake the sin.
• PROUD PEOPLE COMPARE THEMSELVES WITH OTHERS AND FEEL WORTHY OF RESPECT ~ Broken people compare themselves with the holiness of God and feel a desperate need for His mercy.

Anything hit home?  WAY to many for me!  As I read the list in the book, I almost did not go to the next one because there was so much conviction.  Through that however, God began to reveal to me my need for brokenness.  So, my next question to God was, "Father, how do I get from where I am now, to where YOU desire me to be?"  His answer was that I need HIM!  I also needed to look back and ask the Holy Spirit to guide me by confessing my weaknesses to others from my past and also asking for others to forgive me.  OH BOY!  That is not easy!  Yeah, fine and easy to teach it to my kids, but now I AM supposed to do it?!  UGH!  James 4:10 says ~ Humble yourself in the sight of the Lord, and He will lift you up"  God desires to see a willing heart that is hungry for His ways.  His ways are contrary to our flesh.  When we do FINALLY give in to pride and decide to take the road of humility, God begins to work.  It is maybe the most important thing to being a Christian.  Ask yourself, "Am I a BROKEN christian?" 

I really never thought about how broken I was.  Since God has shown me my pride, I have learned to walk daily in humbleness.  Now, trust me, it is not easy and I battle it many times!  I LOVE to be right!  Just ask any of my family members!  I can now, give in to a debate and either just be quiet or admit the other person is right!  (That IS God!)  Try being broken before others and watch what God does!  Psalm 51:17 ~ My sacrifice, O God, is a broken spirit; a broken and contrite heart, you, God, will not despise.   I DO NOT want my Heavenly Father to despise me!  I desire His blessing, His love and I long to see His heart! 

If you desire to seek Him more and move closer to His heart, become a broken christian!  It's a step that will lead to total humility!  Proverbs 11:2 ~  When pride comes, then comes disgrace, but with humility comes wisdom.  God's wisdom will lead you bless you in ways you cannot believe!  You will begin to look to others and what you can do for them unstead of what everyone needs to do for you!  There is such freedom in that! 

Will you walk in pride or humblesness?

Foto Friday ~ I'm Nice Like That

I know, I know!
YES!  Another collection of pictures of "Da Baby"

But I just could not resist

Take note of those sweet little piggies! 

Don't feel guilty for jealousy feelings that may be stirring! 

You can apologize to me later!

YES, her cheeks ARE as scrumptous as they look!
I just HAD to share the love!

I'm just nice like that! :)

Have a GREAT God-filled weekend!

Eternal Value

Time goes WAY to fast and these sweet moments will someday be only a memory!

God...
 please let me appreciate the simple, beautiful things
and not be consumed with the tedious and mundane.
Help me to TRULY understand,
 that the time I put into my children,
 teaching them to love, serve and find joy in the hard times,
has eternal value and it IS and WILL all be worth it!
I do not want to waste a single moment of my children's lives
fretting upon the things that You have in YOUR hands!
Oh, may they see YOUR reflection in my eyes and in my responses,
 and not see the circumstances that surround me because they know I am looking to You.
I desire to reflect the character of You so that someday,
they will come to know You as their loving Father and provider just as You have taught me.
When I am weary and feel just plain weak,
Please remind me to savor every moment of their sweet little lives
and continue to whisper to my heart the gentle reminder,
 that this is all for you and YOU and for YOUR glory!
It's not to be about me anyway!


Amen

Me, Playing God?

With all the things going on in our lives, I always thought that I was a pretty good wife and THOUGHT I was doing okay.  I had worked on the submission thing for many years and decided that I did better than some anyway.  I began to see that maybe that was not good enough anymore.  Is it okay to just stay where you are because things are going okay?  Or are they really going okay?  I began to ask myself if there is more and how do I know that this is where God wants us.  Does He have more for us?  So...

I began to pray for unity in our marriage.  OH BOY!  I was in for a surprise!  I did not really pray for unity because I thought we had a problem with it in our marriage.  I was just moving towards surrender and decided that praying for unity was a good thing.  My ignorance caught up with me.

 I have always been deeply in love with my husband.  We have always been the kind who could spend days 24/7 and not get tired of each other.  We have been married 18 years and I still have that "skip a beat" kind of feeling in my heart when he calls or walks in the door.  There is NOBODY I would rather be with than him!  With that being said, God has taken my husband and I on a journey the past few months and even more deeply, the past few weeks.

Whether you have the greatest marriage you could possibly imagine or you are struggling with even WANTING to be married anymore, PLEASE pray for unity in your marriage and take cover!  (No, really I'm kidding about that part, but do be prepared for some refining to happen!)  Please know that God can make a GREAT marriage even better and also restore a broken marriage.  It is His desire!  Please don't settle for "okay" anymore!

Submission is a battle for me.  It used to be a REAL issue now I just have to take it to God when a problem arises and He is there to give me the ability to submit.  Do I battle with my will sometimes?  OH YES!  Have I always learned to keep my mouth shut?  NO WAY!  But God is a patient God and I know that He who has begun a good work in me, will be faithful to complete it!  It also helps that I have a husband who is gracious and understands my shortcomings and just sits back and waits for God to speak to me instead of telling me how wrong I am!  (Me?  Not so much!)  Anyway, if you struggle with submission, understand that it does not make you weak!  It actually makes you stronger!  It is not something to dread, there is a freedom when you submit.  The definition from Webster's is: the condition of being submissive, humble, or compliant & an act of submitting to the authority or control of another

The part that caught my attention was, humble.  Jesus humbled Himself to the point of death so why in the world can I not even keep my tongue under control!  Sometimes I have a little minor problem with voicing my opinion.  I used to think it was good for my husband to hear of all the things that HE needed to change.  I thought maybe he would catch on and then if I made him aware of his ways, he would fall to his knees and repent to me and God.  HA!

 A few weeks ago, I sat on the couch and in a "loving" way, told my husband all things that I had started to notice that were getting out of control with him.  (Aren't I kind!)  He sat and listened to all the things that I noticed.  I told him how it would help me and the kids if he would just do this and that.  I REALLY thought at the time that it would help him.  I went to bed that night, prayed and asked God to allow him to receive all things that I had said to him and change him from hearing it!  (It hurts to even write that!)  The next day, I was praying and God revealed something to me.  I was trying to be God in my husbands life!  I had never even been aware of that!  ( No, really I had not thought of it that way!  I am amazed too!)  So back to the unity thing...God was refining me and showing me how I was causing us NOT to be in unity.  Oh there were many more that God had revealed to me in the previous weeks, but this one was hard for me to swallow!  I was trying to be GOD in his life!  How dare I!  How could I tell him what he needed to do to walk closer with God!  Why did I think that I needed to tell him all of that?  I was actually thinking it was because we needed accountability, and we do!  But if I am TELLING him of all his weaknesses, it will only make him more resentful.  I MUST allow God to do that! 

I then went and repented and confessed it to my husband.  He was so forgiving and everything I was desiring began to happen!  God WAS working in him but it was NOT because of me!  It was through God himself!  Our unity began to be SO obvious!  Just as silver has to refined to be beautiful, so do we!  The refining is SO very hard!  And painful!  But it is SOOOOOOmoldable and willing hearts.

Also remember, when we are submitting to our husbands, we are actually submitting to God!  If we can't submit to them, we will have a hard time submitting to God!  Ask your self, "Is it important for me to get MY way, or do I only desire God's way?"  1 Peter 5:5 ...God resists the proud, but gives grace to the humble."

When your husband begins to see you desiring to please him and notices that you are asking, not telling him what to do, he will notice!  If this is not an area you struggle in, like I do, ask God what area He would like you to work on.  When He reveals it to you, ask Him to help you and go to your husband and tell him what God has revealed to you and ask him for his forgiveness.  (That's the "humbleness" part)  I am telling you, your marriage will grow and God's glory will be revealed.  

There is no greater thing, than to walk in unity with your husband and know that God is pleased!

Flowers from God

Years ago, we were going through a REALLY hard time.  I had one of those times where I kept praying and nothing seemed to be happening.  Months of waiting.  Have you ever been there?  I may have even been having a pity party for myself.  (I know hard to believe!)  I used to do that quite often!  Okay, I'm humble!  I have still been known to do that time to time!  Anyway, I asked for God to show me that He had not forgotten me!  Just something to hang on to.  My faith in God was strong but I needed something tangible!  I continued with my day, went to bed with no sign but kept believing.  The next morning, I went to my back door to go do laundry and I looked down, and there was a bouquet of BEAUTIFUL fresh picked flowers!  I kneeled down on the floor and wept.  I still to this day have NO clue who set them there.  I am convinced that an angel of the Lord put them there.  I knew EXACTLY what it meant!  God knew I needed to "see" Him and He revealed His love to me in such an obvious way.

The next week, was a week of blessing.  We began to see answers in our lives that were SO God!  The flowers were the beginning of His promise to take care of me!  Well, since then God has revealed His love to me through flowers.  I know, it sounds strange but it is SO true!  God has USED people to give me flowers but everytime I receive flowers, God reveals Himself in great ways!  One time it was a lilac bush!  That was an amazing time of praise in my life.  After one of my miscarriages, the hospital brought me one white rose.  I knew it was God reminding me He had not forgotten me!  4 weeks later, I was pregnant again already!  There are many other times that He has poured out His love on me through flowers. 

Usually these flowers come from the most unusual places.  Not my husband, or anyone expected.  Neighbors and even strangers have given them to me!  Oh and the best ones are the ones picked from from my sweet children's hands!  Always at the most unexpected time!  Okay, to tell you why I have gone in such detail to tell you about my Heavenly Father bringing me flowers!

The week before my birthday, I received a bouquet of flowers!  My children know of my Father's love affair with me and how He always "brings" me flowers to display His love for me.  I layed them on the table and my daughter walked by, and said, "MOM, God gave you flowers!  Something good must be coming!"

I had really not thought about it yet, but looked at her and said, "Oh thank you for reminding me, I wonder what is coming!"  Well, the next week was the "blessing" over me that God gave my husband and EVERYDAY since my birthday (that is 8 days), God has given us a blessing of money.  Mind you, we have NEVER once asked for money!  People who know us, have prayed and things have even been revealed to others that we are not sure how they know but God has USED others to bring blessing to us.   This week alone, we have received over $2000!  Oh and do I thank them for their obedience!  Don't ever dismiss what God may have you do for others!  He will use it in a mighty way!  We also had a water bill that kept reading $0 so my husband called and the next month, the same thing!  Finally, our local water works came because I guess our meter had broke.  They fixed it and my husband went to pay the bill that was 2 days from getting shut off from the 2 months before when the meter DID work!  He assumed they would prorate it from the months before and God had blessed us so much that we could actually catch up.  He talked to them, showed them the bill, and they said they could not just "make up" a bill and we did not have to pay for the 2 months previous!  Another blessing! 

Well, I have another HUGE story that is in the works, of God's faithfulness.  I can't get into it now because I feel I need to wait until it is complete, but I am giving you my word, that you WILL hear about it!  Remember, we are losing our home in 4 weeks and we are wondering where God is going to do to direct us!  That is all I will say!

Please be mindful of the little things in your life that God may be trying to show you He is there!  I know He uses flowers for me!  Ask Him to show you what His reminder is for you!  I GUARANTEE you He will show you something He does just for you!  He LOVES to give His children good gifts!  You ARE one of His children!  By the way, ON my birthday morning, I received this...

Just wait until you hear what He has done for us after this beautiful flower display!