Have you ever had times where your spirit just wept!
God has sent our family to spiritual "boot camp" and WOW has it been rough on our flesh! We have kept moving forward and muddled through, however! We had some issues that kept rearing it's ugly head and my husband began to realize that we had to get rid of it once and for ALL! It started way before our revival week at church and then God used that week to encourage us and give us wisdom. The past couple of weeks have been an adjustment to all that we have taken in! Things have changed SO much in our home. They are not perfect by any means! We have 14 people under the same roof with all kinds of attitudes and personalities but the joy and love that the enemy was trying to zap us from is back! Really it is not BACK, it is THERE! It is different! More genuine, from within! The kind that only God can give!
So back to my first sentence! Earlier this week, I had a day where I just had a mourning in my heart. The kind I could not explain. I sobbed, prayed, read my bible to get through the intensity. Not PMS, not the "woman" kind of crying. Something from deep within! I have had it before but not this intense. I began to ask God what He was trying to tell me and show me. I can say that I am still not totally sure but something He did make clear was that His heart hurts deeply for His children! They wander around with confusion and pain! He wants USE his children, not be USED by them. So I began to examine MY heart! Do I go to Him when I need something and then leave and do my own thing when I do or don't get my way? Or am I there right along side Him constantly even when I don't like what is going on around me? Do I live for today as His word says or am I living with the questions daily, "What if I...? Or "If only I..." God revealed to me, if I am being His hands and His feet everyday, then I don't need to look ahead or think back! He has something for me and all of His children for TODAY! A simple smile to give, a kiss on a cheek to my child, a choice of giving grace instead of what somebody deserves! That is how we can be USED by Him! So I have been asking A LOT lately how I can be used so that I will be HIS hands and HIS feet!
I don't want to ever USE or abuse the grace and mercy He has given so freely! I desire so much for my children to understand that! I pray they see Him in me and that they know God is their Abba Father! (Daddy!) There is nothing He desires more than to care for us soak up His love! Let Him do that for you TODAY! He wants to take away the confusion and pain! He has that ability! Just let Him in and call upon Him! He cares for you!