All of my life I have had abandonment issues. It started with my parents divorce and then continued throughout my life. My sister died in a car accident years ago, my best friend moved away while we were in high school and so many other things I could write to "prove" that I should have this issue.
God tells me differently! He WILL not leave me! WAIT! Is that true? He won't EVER abandon me? Even when I fail Him?! Even when I do things over and over and seem to STILL struggle?! I have always had a hard time believing that! I can't let it penetrate to my heart! Even now, while I am watching all of the things in our life unfold and I SEE Him working, I STILL have a very hard time grasping that He desires to be my Father and provide for me just because He loves me! I cannot comprehend that just because I am His daughter, I don't ever have to prove myself to Him or try to gain His approval. You mean my hair does not have to be perfect, it doesn't matter what clothes I wear, or even how good of a mother and wife I am?! I am in His heart just because I am me!
I am sure that this is all part of the refining process that He is continuing to do in me. It is so very hard for me to see that He desires good things for me! Hard for me to understand that He would love for me to lay in His arms and comfort me! He is for me and not against me! So for this moment and hopefully here after, I will realize that my Heavenly Father :
Is my encourager
Is my source of life
Will NEVER abandon me
only wants good for me
wants me to FULLY trust Him and Him alone
knows my heart and treasures it
sees me as a precious daughter
can satisfy ALL of my longings
can be trusted
can and WILL provide
gave me my precious children
WILL take care of them also
holds today AND my eternity in His hands
I have been reminded today, as I battle the thoughts of, " why do I deserve all that He has done and is doing?" Then the humbleness and realization of the fact that I really DON'T deserve ANYTHING but He loves me and I am His child. It has brought me to my knees in tears realizing that He is the Father I have always desired and that HE is who He says He is and that He loves me because of who I AM! That is simply AWESOME and I am so thankful I have a Father I can rest in and loves me!
Understand, my friend, that He is the same for you! Just sit back and allow Him to love on you! There is nothing He wants more, than for us to soak up His love! That is where we can fully understand His plan for us...you can be assured, that you can do nothing in yourself to deserve it! It is just because He is God and you are His child!
