The past few weeks have been quite a journey for me! It has been painful, intense, agonizing and amazing! God has shown me nooks and crannies in my heart that needed to be exposed and refined.
I always thought I had a heart for the lost! I decided that was really not the case! I have been in a position of ministering to so many who are crying out for something to hang on to! It is heart wrenching! Everywhere I turn, people are losing thier eternal souls! God has shown me how He sees others...not in humaness with certain brands of shoes and outward apprearances as I do! He looks through His eyes, a soul that He wants to spend eternity with! The people in your neighborhood, the ones walking in and out of Wal-mart, your children and family! Jesus is in love with all of them! Just as He is you! I have had days lately of agonizing over the lost. It is a very hard place to be but I truly believe that it is the only way we can discover how God's heart works!
Agnozize...suffer or cause somebody pain: to suffer, or cause somebody to suffer, extreme pain or mental anguish
My agony has not been physical but spiritual! I have come to the realization that it is far worse to be in spiritual agony of physical agony! Someday, our bodies will be gone, but our souls are eternal! No comparison! I live in my comfortable home, food to eat, cars to drive and so much more! Yet I complain! I am not saying that I should not appreciate those things! I am just realizing that priorities are SO much different in God's eyes than my eyes! I want to be in a place where I would give up all that I know as familiar for the kingdom of God! Am I willing to let all of it go just to see that other's know Him? What limits have I made on how much God can do in and through me? Is it enough? Is there more? Can I lay it all down to suffer for the lost?
Am I willing to lay it all down? How far am I willing to go? Do I cry out for the lost as God does? I need His heart to be my heart!