Update...

It has been 2 whole months!  Time has slipped by and SO many things have happened in my life!  Life changing and monumental in some ways! 

~ I was for the first time, on the other side of delivering a baby! I am now looking into becoming a certified doula!  I will just say I was SO in my element! 
~ Thanksgiving came and went and we had a beautiful day with family
~ I had the opportunity to help a VERY needy neighbor in a great time of need (more to come about that!)
~ Started a new business with Spa Products!  They are AMAZING! :) Go to go here to see for yourself and PLEASE let me know if you are interested! The products are all botanically based and literally change your skin from the first day of use!
~ I have watched my oldest son make life-changing decisions
~ I have met the soon to be newest member of our family (no I am not pregnant yet, unfortunately!)
~ My son became engaged on December 13th so we have a new daughter to welcome into our family!
~ We have stayed away from all the illnesses going around
~ I have watched my daughter play AND sing in her first guitar recital
~My son and his fiance played Mary and Joseph and the baby whom I witnessed his birth, played baby Jesus in our church Christmas presentation
~ We had a wonderful Christmas with much less material things than previous years but also had much soul searching and had the ability to teach our children many things through it
~ Hubby still no permanent job but he did have a few interviews with all of them sending rejection letters :/ Many lessons learned through those times!
~ Realizing continually day in and day out, that Jesus MUST be source for EVERYTHING!
~ I have had a HUGE prayer answered after many years that God would send me a friend who I could be with, in my area. I have a dear lady that has taken up a place in my heart and we have such kindred spirits!  So Blessed to have her in my life! We have grown towards God because of each other!

I am so thankful for all the provision God has given us in 2012!  I remember wondering where I would be last year at this time in 2013.  We were getting ready to move, I had just had a miscarriage and my life was spinning out of control right in front of me!  (So I thought...)

We have come full circle and I now see much more clearer of the things God was desiring for us to learn:

 -This life is NOT about "stuff" and what this world has to offer
- The enemy would like to help us focus on those things and what we can get for ourselves
- It is SO tempting and easy to get caught up in what we DON'T have
- God's ways are not our ways
- But when we focus on Him and rest in HIS plan, our desires do begin to fall in line with His
- His concern is people and their eternity
- That is what our focus should be!
- We don't have to go outside of our country to be missionaries!
- We are called to be missionaries day in and day out in our homes and our little "world" around us

I will tell you I have by NO means "arrived" yet, but I am so thankful for the grace God gives and the road He has lead us down to see His heart.  I pray I will continually look at His heart and focus on HIS ways not follow my selfish desires.  I hope to live this life for Him so when I meet Him face to face He will say to me, "Well done my good and faithful servant!" I wonder what this year is going to hold!  I do not know, but I take rest in knowing He knows and I will follow wherever He leads!

 

I must boast...

A few months ago at the age of 16, my oldest, missionary hearted (is that a real word?), daughter, wrote an essay.  It was written for a chance to win a full ride scholarship to our local community college.  I had full confidence in her (and God) that she would win.  ( I have homeschooled her since she was born and KNEW of her abilities!)  She was not quite as sure!  Welllll....we found out last week she WON!

She had pretty much decided she would wait and see what God was going to do in her life in the coming year, and search out some possible mission opportunities in South America for the time being.  She wants to go to medical school for missionary work so it was a dream of hers to at some point to go to college and with one phone call, the situation took that turn! 

We are THRILLED with the opportunity that she has and the doors this may open for her ministry now and in the future.  I thought you all might like to read the essay she wrote!  I had to boost a little bit because we are SOOOOOOOO very, very proud!  Her trip that she took a year ago August 10th, is being used by God in SO may ways!  It is fun to watch what He is doing in her life!

Enjoy!

The topic was: Tell us of a time you woke up in a funk, feeling down. How did you react and what did you do to work yourself out of it?

 My daughter's submission-

This morning I woke up feeling a little down. Last night I fell asleep with only a grass mat between me and the floor of this mud hut.  Secluded and alone are words that help me describe how it feels to be in a Malawi village, hundreds of miles away from any First World luxuries such as electricity and running water. It is well beyond 100 degrees outside, and the hot African sun is not yet at its strongest. I pull my mosquito net away from me. It has been covering me all night to keep the insects away, decreasing my chances of getting malaria or another illness while I sleep.

I remember the visitors I had last night; a dog, rat, and hen laying an egg in the corner of the hut. Too tired to get up and shoo them away, I sigh and begin to relax and ponder the events of these past few weeks. In the background is the steady, resounding, rhythmic beat of bass drums complimented by the low murmur of tribal chanting. As the music echoes in my ears I start to miss my home, family, and everything familiar about my life back in Iowa. I remember the feelings of anticipation and excitement when I boarded that first plane, thus beginning over three days and ten thousand miles worth of airports, flight time, and layovers. Followed by exhaustion, jet lag, unfamiliar languages, peculiar food, and strange customs. Before I drift off to sleep, I think about the time when I found out that there are currently more than 40.5 million orphans in Africa. It was simply a statistic to me, until… I met one. Witnessing child after child with no choice but to drink filthy, bacteria-ridden water made this issue become real for me. When I was first told the percentage of Malawians affected by HIV/AIDS, malaria, and other diseases it was staggering. And then I met them, one at a time. I heard their stories, and witnessed the desperation.

Now, I no longer see a number. I see faces in my mind. Finally I fall sleep.  Several hours later I am the last to awake.  Still not used to such early hours and waking up as the sun rises.  My stomach grumbles, and I don’t have to wonder what I’ll be eating for breakfast, lunch, or dinner. I will be eating nsema, just like every other day for the past month. Nsema is simply ground maize flour added to boiled water and eaten raw while still steaming hot which, to this foreigner, tastes only a little worse than raw pizza dough. After breakfast the curious village children crowd around me. They are filthy, covered in red dirt. Patiently and eagerly waiting for the strange “azungu” to come play games with them and spend another day together. I see their tattered clothes. Observing the lack of possessions makes it so easy to feel sorry for them. Yet in countless ways I notice all the reasons that I should envy instead of pity them. I envy their young, humble maturity. Their quiet resilience and indomitable spirits, their understanding of value and importance; they emphasize people, family, perseverance, gratitude and hard work rather than success, fame, or greed. They teach me, even though I came to teach them.

The translator comes to talk to me about the schedule. He informs me that today there are long and exhausting mountain trails to be hiked, several secluded villages to visit, and so much work to be done.  I am already tired, sore, and feeling down. Even as I list these things you may think that I am complaining, but I am not. Because each time I am tempted to complain or have a pity party, all it takes to work myself out of this funk, is to silently take a moment to remember why I am here. I am here because after a brutally long day, I so look forward to that inviting grass mat in that mud hut, followed by all those animal visitors. The African sun can be hot, oppressive, and even miserable at times but the sunsets are amazing, the contrasting colors are spectacular and never fail to take my breath away. I don’t need electricity, air conditioning, a comfortable mattress, internet access, or even a hot shower and running water after all. These things are nice, but no longer vital.

The nsema is not like the American food I have grown accustomed to, but I watch as it is lovingly prepared and served, I realize the privilege I have been given to join these people for a meal at their home. For them it is a sign of respect and a generous display of honor and hospitality. The dirt covered children may be impoverished by most standards, yet they possess such wealth of character, integrity, and joy. They teach me so much, as they brighten each day with their abundance of smiles and unreserved affection. Those mountains are tiring and difficult to climb, leaving me not just with aching muscles, but also a sense of pride and accomplishment. The villages are beautiful, inspiring and diverse. It is hard work yet unquestionably fulfilling.  As I am excitedly greeted by the remote village near the top of the mountain, I shake countless hands and talk and greet them for as long as my limited Chichewa vocabulary allows. I realize that words are no longer quite as important. I reach out for another hand, and look into the gentle, grateful eyes of an old woman. Several children come up to touch my arm, curious to see if the “white” will rub off if they touch it. Teenagers cautiously observe. I can’t help but smile. Universal and understood in every language, today my smile testifies that good days and bad days are often quite simply a matter of perspective.

Full of...

Our summers are always full of activity!  Come to think of it, my LIFE is full of activity during every season!  But these are some things we plan on doing in the coming weeks:

• reading books for fun not to include reports!
• making meals for others with hectic lives
• playing outside for countless hours
• MANY baths daily!  (yes with 7 boys under 11, they require many daily!)
• annual church campmeeting  (our evangelist is Chris Owensby...Check out his websight here)
• joining in a prayer walk around our city to release the power of the Holy Spirit in our town
• swimming at Grandma's
• bible school
• having a neighborhood bible school in our yard
• playing at our local YMCA
• birthdays...always birthdays!
• playing at the park
• having a garage sale
• bonfires with hotdogs and s'mores
• continually, hopefully reaching our neighborhood for Christ!

God has placed us in a neighborhood that is so lost!  We have had the chance to minister through pray, giving our time and sometimes just a smile!  It has been amazing!!!  I wondered many times when we moved here, what God was up to!  I now realize even more, how desperate people are to hear and feel the love of Christ!  It is so exciting and humbling to be used to introduce Jesus to the lost!  My children are changed forever!  It has taught us not to judge other's because of how they dress, how much money they have or even attitudes they may have!  Everyone has a past and needs love and acceptence!  We have stepped out in faith and it has not been easy but God has shown us how people need His love!  He wants us to be His hands and feet! 

Will you help us spread the love of Christ where you live?  The world is dying spiritually and everyday that passes, is one day less that we have! 

Summer is filled with exciting things but the only thing that will last forever is a heart changed for eternity!  Give your summer to God and ask Him to lead you to the lost and watch what happens!

Please pray for us as we minister to our neighborhood!  God is doing amazing things!  We are so thankful for the opportunity we have been given!   

Busy!

This week...

 we are going swimming

we have a violin recital to attend

we will be enjoying beautiful spring weather

I am going to lunch with a sweet friend

I will be spending time with my parents

the girls and I will be planning a banquet for Mother's Day for our church

we will be shopping for the banquet

 we will be cleaning

we are trying to get rid of an adorable beagle puppy (anyone interested?)

I will continue to listen to a sermon series online

I will continue the "Weigh Down Diet" (More on that to come)

our family will continue to enjoy watching our littlest one learn to walk (F I N A L L Y!)

I will be on my knees LOTS!

my prayer list has gotten really long!

I have fallen in love with my husband all over again!

I will watch God do MORE amazing things in our marriage

I will be listening more and talking less

I will walk in the ways of the Lord

it will not be by my strengh but through HIM!

Psalm 73:28
But it is good for me to draw near to God; I have put my trust in the Lord GOD, That I may declare all Your works.

Update~

It's been awhile!  Not really sure why...I guess maybe just time to gather thoughts.  Maybe a little bit of just plain tired of life at times and no real desire to write about it.  A pity party of sorts I suppose.  That sounds terrible!  I really am not the kind that tires of life!  I can always find the rose in the middle of the thorns...HOWEVER this has been a VERY thorny time and that rose has been a touch harder to find at times.  The great thing is, that even though I got scraped a few times and maybe even had my heart bleed at times from the thorns, I have found MANY roses through this journey.  Not just one, but many!  Sometimes you have to experience the thorns to appreciate the roses that much more.

We have had more job rejections (3 to be exact!).  After 3 interviews, my dear husband thought he had the job!  The rejection came last week.  After 18 months of being unemployed sometimes, I don't know how much more he can take.  A man is supposed to provide, and God has given them that desire.  What is the first question asked to a man?  "What do you do for a living?"  That is how they are measured...on this earth anyway.  We are learning more and more, that our worth is NOT in our circumstances or the world's eyes, it is in Christ's eyes.  In order to see what that worth is, we have to go to the cross!  It has been an eye opener!  The cross is the ONLY place we can see our true worth!  The one who died because he loved us so very much!  When we try to find it in other ways, exercise, the food we eat, our spouse, our children, our church, those around us, etc...we will come up short!  And VERY disappointed!  Man will always let us down at some point, but God never will!  Our continued journey to find our worth through Christ's eyes continues.  No job, but that's okay...our hope is in Jesus, not a job!  He has proven Himself over and over and we will not be dismayed!  Our journey has made us stronger and brought us closer to the One who supplies our every need.  I am so thankful!

My oldest left the nest yesterday.  A hard day for me.  He is not going too far but everything from here on out changes.  No more can I say, "Yep, they all live with me under the same roof!"  No more bringing babies home while he is at home.  Will he ever know the young ones?  Not in the same way!  That breaks my heart!  That has been a difficult thing for me to swallow!  I knew the day was coming but I don't think I could ever be prepared emotionally.  He called lots yesterday and today he is lonely.  He loves his siblings and is not used to quiet.  I tried to tell him to come home but then...I realized it is best for him to stay.  It is a new normal for both of us.  One I don't like but yet this is the time I raised him for.  To go make a life for himself.  Out of my hands and into God's heart.  To find out HIS true identity!  Hoping he will continue to find it in Christ, not the world.  My heart aches but I know this is the beginning of a new chapter for all of us.  Yes, through the thorns, I WILL find a rose!

We are loving our home.  It has always felt like home.  We have no clue how long we will be here but we are so thankful everyday for a place of our own directly from God's heart!  Make sure you appreciate where you lay your head every night!  It is a blessing to have a place to call home!  You realize that, when you fear losing it all!  I now understand, it truly is family that makes a home, not just 4 walls!  We are "neighboring" and we are spreading the love of Jesus with this lost world!  It is all around us!  Don't forget that!  People are hurting and need to hear of Him!  They just need love and to feel love.  When you do it, people will reciprocate it!  Try it!  It will amaze you.  Bring a meal, say "hello", just smile!  People are wanting to feel the love of Christ and He wants to use you to do it!  In the thorns of this move, we have found that rose!  He is using us to reach out to others.  I am so honored that He choose us to do it here, where we are, in this moment!

Well, the last rose I will share, is this:

We have not had our family picture taken for years!  (You try getting 8 boys and 3 teenage girls ready!)  A wonderful person, offered to do them at no cost to us, for a Christmas gift.  We were so excited!  And it went SO well!  (Well, the 3 teenage girl things and keeping 8 boys clean, was still a challenge), but we survived! 

The outcome was great!

Remember, yes...there will be thorns, but always know that there are roses too!  Just keep searching and don't give up! 

FREE good home?

I have heard of "Free to Good Home", but until now, never heard of "Free Good Home"!  Let me explain...We have a new place to live.  Not a new home but new to us!  It is probably to date, one of my favorite places we have lived.  (We did live in a small community years ago that had a home I would say comes in first.)  There is quite a story behind this "new" home!  It is not just a house to me!  We have made it a "home" because God has given it to us to live for a time!  It was a gift from him for this chapter in our lives.  The circumstances are amazing, actually.  At the last moment, a dear woman realized that our family would be homeless and offered her home to us free of charge for as long as we need it.  Can you believe it?!!!  For months we sat in our living room with a lurking foreclosure over our heads.  Although no way to pay the mortgage, there was always that thought and maybe some guilt or burden to pay it.  With that behind us as of January 18th, and NO way to change it, we sit here in our living room, from God, with no worry of being homeless!  We don't know how long we will be here but God has made an impossible situation beautiful!  There is a heavenly economy!  This lady who offered her home (the one we are living in right now), has also seen some things happen with her home.  It was vacant for some time and it was in need of some TLC!  An amazing organization came to us because of a friend of mine who knew we were in need, and redid the kitchen and other things that needed to be fixed FREE of charge.  I will get into more detail soon.  I am still trying to get pictures and my camera does not want to get along with my computer since the move.  So I will post them soon! 

Thank you for your many prayers!  Continue!  We are still in need of a job.  We are settling in to our new home and LOVING it!  We do have a dream of another home, someday!  But God has been so good to us and held us up in a very desperate time!  He simply is AWESOME!  Trust Him!  He IS who He says He is and He does what He says He is going to do!  He takes care of His children!

Where have I...

...been, you ask?

Well...you would probably not believe all of it if I told you!  And I am sure I don't have the room and you don't have the time!  But I will clue you in on a few things...

• As of yesterday, we had 1 day to pack and move out
• Today, our house sold at auction to the bank
• We have about 2 weeks to get out!  (Better than 24 hours!)
• A DEAR lady has volunteered her empty home to our family to live in, free of rent as long as we need it! 
• That is AMAZING! 
• We have LOTS of work to do but my kids have GREAT attitudes!
• I went through a terrible loss but I am recovering with peace
• God has provided in BEAUTIFUL, UNEXPECTED ways!
• We all had the stomach flu that strung out over a span of 2 weeks
• Yes, it was as bad as it sounds! 
• We survived!  (I still am wanting a shirt to wear that reads, " I survived being a mom of 12 with the flu!")
• My husband had an interview
• We have not heard back yet
• We are still praying for a particular blessing that we feel God has for us
• Not sure of the timing, but we know God knows what is best for us
• I have never been through as much as I have been through in the past 2 months
• God has never felt closer!
• His grace is ever-present and my faith has become SO great!
• That is only through Him because He has carried us
• My husband has been a pillar and I am so totally in love with him even more
• All of this is worth it to show God how much I love Him and that I trust Him
• He can be trusted and His way IS best even if we don't understand it
• I have had moments of kicking and screaming quite often
• I finally am "still"
• It's better that way
• Our lives will be changing even more, but with His hand, we will be more than okay!

Thank you for your continued prayers!  I cannot tell you how they have carried me through!  What we have been through, has forever changed me.  I will be Jesus hands and feet and not depend that others are doing it!  I will get my hands "dirty" and dig deep to make sure that I am used by Him to love others in the way that He has shown us HIS love and provision!

I will be continuing the story, but time may be far and few between until we get moved.  Hang in there with your hands folded in prayer!  I am truly humbled!

An update~

Our lives in the past 4 months has changed dramatically.  Some things I have shared and others I have not.  I can tell you that I have a peace and really no anxiety about anything!  Which, if you know me or have read my blog for very long, you know how miraculous that is!  God has taught me to live one day at a time and even one MOMENT at a time!  So with that being said, I thought I would give you a little update on what is and has been happening in our life.

Last October, when my husband came home to tell me he had lost his job, I felt like a Mack truck had hit me!  We had been through it before but it is still a shock!  I think I cried off and on for days.  My hubby, for the most part was fine with the exception of feeling like a failure and that he had let us down.  So most of my crying was behind closed doors so I did not bring him down.  He worked very hard at finding another job.  Went to people he knew and called around asking if anyone could use him.  We finally came to the point where we realized it was in God's hands, not ours!  Not to say we laid down and quit, just had to use a different approach.  At the beginning of December, he even found a job, we thought.  After a short time, he realized it was not something he would do for a long period of time and the pay could not sustain our large and growing family!  He went to the person who hired him and was very honest with him and told him that if he thought it a waste of his time to train my husband for only a short period of time only to find another job and move on, he would understand but would continue to work there as long as he needed him.  They decided mutually it was best for both parties to move on.  So, we are sitting here towards the end of February with still not job.  He has had two interviews with one company and we are supposed to hear from them later this week.  That job would mean a move is in our near future!  SCARY for all of us!  The last time we moved, my children were all so young and really their lives did not change much.  This would be a TOTALLY different story!  My oldest has jobs, my other children have lots of involvement with music around our area and friends would be sooooo missed!  But God will direct our path!  He will share with us in His timing, His desire.  Our ears, spirits and hearts are open to listen!  We have realized as time goes on, the trials we go through are only meant to make us stronger!  The time we have had together has been an adjustment!  There is NOBODY on this earth I would rather be with than my husband but finding a way to adapt to our new normal has been interesting at times!  We are waiting together and love having time to share our children in work and in play!  I had felt guilty for a time, that I was enjoying our time together!  I have since learned that I should appreciate this time and enjoy it!  It is only for a season and I need to savor it.  

On to my pregnancy.  I have always had textbook case pregnancy's.  No problems, complications or anything unexpected.  Well, not this time!  Everything was smooth sailing until I hit 29 weeks.  I found out last Friday, I have Gestational Diabetes.  I know it is not uncommon, but for me it is and it has thrown me for a loop!  We have read everything you can possible read on it and the main concern is a big baby.  Which I have anyway!  So, in order to keep my blood sugar levels down, I will be on insulin injections, non-stress tests weekly, doctor appointments weekly, and ultrasounds every other week.  Understand, I am one who thinks to much medical intervention is not good so my mind cannot quite wrap itself around this whole concept.  WAY to much medical intervention in my opinion.  However, I do know God gave us doctors to help us and it is not always a bad things to follow their advice.  Just as I said yesterday on my blog, I need God to be so close to me, that I will know what His plan is.  I will take one day at a time and do what He tells me to do. 

We have had a winter full minor illnesses.  It has been a REALLY long winter.  We have taken lots of Vitamin D and drinking orange juice to try to keep ahead of things but when you have 13 people living and breathing each other in close quarters, illnesses are bound to happen.  I am just thankful for strong immune systems!  We did have a bout of beautiful unseasonably warm weather last week and that was wonderful!  It got us out and running free for a few days!  Maybe we got it all out of our systems before baby!  That would be nice!

Summary:

• No job as of yet, but we are waiting on God for His timing

• Possibly a move is on our horizon

• baby is growing and moving great but causing quite a stir before she comes, lots of decisions to be made!

• We are so thankful for God's provision and continue to allow Him to be our daily source for all of your needs

Thank you for your prayers and please continue!  They are working!


More updates coming as they occur!