I would love to write this saying that all is well but really today, it is not. I am sorry my faithful readers that I have not been around much. 8 weeks ago, we were celebrating the news of number 13 on his/her way.
On Monday I went for my normal check-up and was thrilled with anticipation to see the heartbeat once again on ultrasound. As I lied there watching the screen excitedly, as I always do when a little life is in my womb... the fully formed, perfect baby was still with no heartbeat. Only about 3 days before, it seems that it's little soul passed out of him/her from my body to Jesus' arms.
Tonight, my heart, I am sure has blisters on it and the dark seems so dark. The mountain in front of me seems so great and my faith seems so small right now. I DO know who I cling to and I know that right now, He is holding my baby and me in His precious arms.
"A BABY'S SECRET"
I'm just a little person who didn't make it there; I went straight to be with Jesus, but I'm waiting for you here.
Don't you fret about me, Mommy, I'm of all God's lambs most blessed; I'd have loved to stay there with you,
but the Shepherd knows what's best. Many dwelling here where I live, waited years to ent...er in; Struggled through a world of sorrow, and their lives were marred with sin.
So, sweet Mommy, don't you sorrow ~ Wipe those tears and chase the gloom ~ I went straight to Jesus' bosom from my mother's womb.
Thank you for the life you gave me ~ It was brief, but don't complain... I have all of heaven's glory... suffered none of earthling's pain.
- by Sandi Johnson
I WILL be back and this has given me a reason to write again. It is so healing. Thank you for listening and please pray for my heart to heal.