It's been a while....

I would love to write this saying that all is well but really today, it is not.  I am sorry my faithful readers that I have not been around much.  8 weeks ago, we were celebrating the news of number 13 on his/her way.

 

On Monday I went for my normal check-up and was thrilled with anticipation to see the heartbeat once again on ultrasound.  As I lied there watching the screen excitedly, as I always do when a little life is in my womb... the fully formed, perfect baby was still with no heartbeat. Only about 3 days before, it seems that it's little soul passed out of him/her from my body to Jesus' arms.

 

Tonight, my heart, I am sure has blisters on it and the dark seems so dark.  The mountain in front of me seems so great and my faith seems so small right now.  I DO know who I cling to and I know that right now, He is holding my baby and me in His precious arms. 

 

"A BABY'S SECRET"


I'm just a little person who didn't make it there;
I went straight to be with Jesus,
but I'm waiting for you here.


Don't you fret about me, Mommy,
I'm of all God's lambs most blessed;
I'd have loved to stay there with you,


but the Shepherd knows what's best.
Many dwelling here where I live,
waited years to ent...er in;
Struggled through a world of sorrow,
and their lives were marred with sin.


So, sweet Mommy, don't you sorrow ~
Wipe those tears and chase the gloom ~
I went straight to Jesus' bosom
from my mother's womb.


Thank you for the life you gave me ~
It was brief, but don't complain...
I have all of heaven's glory...
suffered none of earthling's pain.


- by Sandi Johnson

I WILL be back and this has given me a reason to write again.  It is so healing.  Thank you for listening and please pray for my heart to heal.