With all the things going on in our lives, I always thought that I was a pretty good wife and THOUGHT I was doing okay. I had worked on the submission thing for many years and decided that I did better than some anyway. I began to see that maybe that was not good enough anymore. Is it okay to just stay where you are because things are going okay? Or are they really going okay? I began to ask myself if there is more and how do I know that this is where God wants us. Does He have more for us? So...
I began to pray for unity in our marriage. OH BOY! I was in for a surprise! I did not really pray for unity because I thought we had a problem with it in our marriage. I was just moving towards surrender and decided that praying for unity was a good thing. My ignorance caught up with me.
I have always been deeply in love with my husband. We have always been the kind who could spend days 24/7 and not get tired of each other. We have been married 18 years and I still have that "skip a beat" kind of feeling in my heart when he calls or walks in the door. There is NOBODY I would rather be with than him! With that being said, God has taken my husband and I on a journey the past few months and even more deeply, the past few weeks.
Whether you have the greatest marriage you could possibly imagine or you are struggling with even WANTING to be married anymore, PLEASE pray for unity in your marriage and take cover! (No, really I'm kidding about that part, but do be prepared for some refining to happen!) Please know that God can make a GREAT marriage even better and also restore a broken marriage. It is His desire! Please don't settle for "okay" anymore!
Submission is a battle for me. It used to be a REAL issue now I just have to take it to God when a problem arises and He is there to give me the ability to submit. Do I battle with my will sometimes? OH YES! Have I always learned to keep my mouth shut? NO WAY! But God is a patient God and I know that He who has begun a good work in me, will be faithful to complete it! It also helps that I have a husband who is gracious and understands my shortcomings and just sits back and waits for God to speak to me instead of telling me how wrong I am! (Me? Not so much!) Anyway, if you struggle with submission, understand that it does not make you weak! It actually makes you stronger! It is not something to dread, there is a freedom when you submit. The definition from Webster's is: the condition of being submissive, humble, or compliant & an act of submitting to the authority or control of another
The part that caught my attention was, humble. Jesus humbled Himself to the point of death so why in the world can I not even keep my tongue under control! Sometimes I have a little minor problem with voicing my opinion. I used to think it was good for my husband to hear of all the things that HE needed to change. I thought maybe he would catch on and then if I made him aware of his ways, he would fall to his knees and repent to me and God. HA!
A few weeks ago, I sat on the couch and in a "loving" way, told my husband all things that I had started to notice that were getting out of control with him. (Aren't I kind!) He sat and listened to all the things that I noticed. I told him how it would help me and the kids if he would just do this and that. I REALLY thought at the time that it would help him. I went to bed that night, prayed and asked God to allow him to receive all things that I had said to him and change him from hearing it! (It hurts to even write that!) The next day, I was praying and God revealed something to me. I was trying to be God in my husbands life! I had never even been aware of that! ( No, really I had not thought of it that way! I am amazed too!) So back to the unity thing...God was refining me and showing me how I was causing us NOT to be in unity. Oh there were many more that God had revealed to me in the previous weeks, but this one was hard for me to swallow! I was trying to be GOD in his life! How dare I! How could I tell him what he needed to do to walk closer with God! Why did I think that I needed to tell him all of that? I was actually thinking it was because we needed accountability, and we do! But if I am TELLING him of all his weaknesses, it will only make him more resentful. I MUST allow God to do that!
I then went and repented and confessed it to my husband. He was so forgiving and everything I was desiring began to happen! God WAS working in him but it was NOT because of me! It was through God himself! Our unity began to be SO obvious! Just as silver has to refined to be beautiful, so do we! The refining is SO very hard! And painful! But it is SOOOOOOmoldable and willing hearts.
Also remember, when we are submitting to our husbands, we are actually submitting to God! If we can't submit to them, we will have a hard time submitting to God! Ask your self, "Is it important for me to get MY way, or do I only desire God's way?" 1 Peter 5:5 ...God resists the proud, but gives grace to the humble."
When your husband begins to see you desiring to please him and notices that you are asking, not telling him what to do, he will notice! If this is not an area you struggle in, like I do, ask God what area He would like you to work on. When He reveals it to you, ask Him to help you and go to your husband and tell him what God has revealed to you and ask him for his forgiveness. (That's the "humbleness" part) I am telling you, your marriage will grow and God's glory will be revealed.
There is no greater thing, than to walk in unity with your husband and know that God is pleased!