Brokenness

It is no secret, I have been through a journey the past year!  If you have read my blog long, or have not, just go back and look at my previous posts.  The journey feels long some days.  I am so very thankful for the chastening of the Lord, however!  It is through these times, that my need for Him can be revealed. 

 Before this journey, I never thought of myself as a proud person.  I know humans in general, struggle with it, but I did not think it was a HUGE issue with me.  Well, just as everything else in my life that I THINK I don't have an issue with, God is so faithful (Although I am not that eager at the time!) to reveal the things I DO need to work on.  Even just a little of something we struggle with, if not dealt with, can become a real battle at some point.  This past few weeks, He has shown me my pride issues and allowed me to see that I need to be broken before others and Christ if He is to fulfill His plan in my life.

I read a book. Actually three!  I STRONGLY recommend them!  Through these books, God changed my life!   You can buy them as a trilogy now.  You can buy it HERE.  It is 'Surrender', 'Brokenness', and 'Holiness'.  They are written by Nancy Leigh DeMoss.   In the book, 'Brokenness', She listed several things for the reader to show the difference of a broken person and a proud person.  I would LOVE to list all of them, but there were many, so I am going to share a few that really convicted me:

• PROUD PEOPLE FOCUS ON THE FAILURES OF OTHERS AND CAN READILY POINT OUT THOSE FAULTS ~ Broken people are more conscious of their own spiritual need than of anyone else's.
• PROUD PEOPLE HAVE TO PROVE THEY ARE RIGHT-THEY HAVE TO GET THE LAST WORD ~ Broken people are willing to yeild the right to be right.
• PROUD PEOPLE ARE SELF-PROTECTIVE OF THEIR TIME, THEIR RIGHTS, AND THEIR REPUTATION. ~ Broken people are self-denying and self-sacrificing.
• PROUD PEOPLE CRAVE SELF-ADVANCEMENT ~ Broken people desire to promote others.
• PROUD PEOPLE ARE ELATED BY PRAISE AND DEFLATED BY CRITISCISM ~ Broken people know that any praise of their accomplishments belongs to the Lord and that criticism can help them grow into spiritual maturity.
• PROUD PEOPLE ARE QUICK TO BLAME OTHERS ~ Broken people accept personal responsibility and can acknowledge where they were wrong in a situation. 
• PROUD PEOPLE ARE REMORSEFUL OVER THEIR SIN-SORRY THAT THEY GOT CAUGHT OR FOUND OUT ~ Broken prople are truly repentant over their sin, and the evidence of their repentance is that they forsake the sin.
• PROUD PEOPLE COMPARE THEMSELVES WITH OTHERS AND FEEL WORTHY OF RESPECT ~ Broken people compare themselves with the holiness of God and feel a desperate need for His mercy.

Anything hit home?  WAY to many for me!  As I read the list in the book, I almost did not go to the next one because there was so much conviction.  Through that however, God began to reveal to me my need for brokenness.  So, my next question to God was, "Father, how do I get from where I am now, to where YOU desire me to be?"  His answer was that I need HIM!  I also needed to look back and ask the Holy Spirit to guide me by confessing my weaknesses to others from my past and also asking for others to forgive me.  OH BOY!  That is not easy!  Yeah, fine and easy to teach it to my kids, but now I AM supposed to do it?!  UGH!  James 4:10 says ~ Humble yourself in the sight of the Lord, and He will lift you up"  God desires to see a willing heart that is hungry for His ways.  His ways are contrary to our flesh.  When we do FINALLY give in to pride and decide to take the road of humility, God begins to work.  It is maybe the most important thing to being a Christian.  Ask yourself, "Am I a BROKEN christian?" 

I really never thought about how broken I was.  Since God has shown me my pride, I have learned to walk daily in humbleness.  Now, trust me, it is not easy and I battle it many times!  I LOVE to be right!  Just ask any of my family members!  I can now, give in to a debate and either just be quiet or admit the other person is right!  (That IS God!)  Try being broken before others and watch what God does!  Psalm 51:17 ~ My sacrifice, O God, is a broken spirit; a broken and contrite heart, you, God, will not despise.   I DO NOT want my Heavenly Father to despise me!  I desire His blessing, His love and I long to see His heart! 

If you desire to seek Him more and move closer to His heart, become a broken christian!  It's a step that will lead to total humility!  Proverbs 11:2 ~  When pride comes, then comes disgrace, but with humility comes wisdom.  God's wisdom will lead you bless you in ways you cannot believe!  You will begin to look to others and what you can do for them unstead of what everyone needs to do for you!  There is such freedom in that! 

Will you walk in pride or humblesness?