After a very trying week last week, this week has been trying also but in a different way. In the past, I should know by now, that whenever I have had been bombarded and overwhelmed, there is something over the horizon God is preparing me for.
Today, I woke up feeling heavy and just plain burdened. For my children, my husband, and those around me who have no hope. I have also been dealing with guilt from not being the mom my children have needed me to be. Do they struggle because I have not effectively been who I needed to be? Sometimes it really gets to me! I know all about the stuff that we are not perfect and God steps in the gap and our children learn to know God and trust Him no matter what we do. Yes, I believe ALL of that! I will NEVER be perfect and God's grace will see me through but I also know there are times when I have just been lazy and disobedient and those are the times that get to me. I lay in bed at night praying for God's hand to be upon them and show them how much I love them and Him!
Later in the day, I had an opportunity that came up to be Jesus hands and feet. It came out of nowhere! We are now living in a neighborhood that is so lost! We have had the blessing of witnessing to others and showing God's love by just accepting people for who they are. The people directly next door to us, have a very sad situation and they have been on our hearts. We have brought them meals, and just talked with them. They have a little deaf girl and my 13 year old is learning sign language so that has been HUGE for both of them! (The mom does not know any sign language so it has been good for her also.) A couple days ago, the grandparents who lived there, just moved out one night. It seemed peculiar but we let it go. For days they have not been around, until today. I was excited to see her and said hello and asked her how things were going. "Not well!" she said. She continued to share her heart and circumstances with me. It was a very sad story! My heart broke. I asked her if I could pray with her and she said, "Please, I need somebody to!" I took her hand with me on one side of the fence and her the other, and prayed with her. I looked up and the tears were streaming down her face. It was a moment I will not forget. This family has needs and I was so humbled to know that God placed me, today, to care for somebody and their soul! What a privilege and joy!
I sit in my comfortable home, with food, blankets and love! I have heard it for years, but I am in awe of how many people around me are hurting and crying out to be loved! It is real! God desires to use His own to be His hands and His feet. How far am I willing to go? Will I always respond in obedience or will I take the lazy way out and ignore those around me because it costs me to much? Will I focus on my needs or will I give up everything so other's can see the love of Christ knowing that God will take care of me?
I can't just let it go anymore! I don't want to look away anymore and not do anything making excuses and hoping somebody else will step in. I know what it is like to be on the "need" side of things and maybe this is the way God is allowing me to give back what He so freely and gracefully gave us! What ever it is, I'm in! Please look around you and ask God to share the needs of other's with you. There are so many hurting people! My hope, no matter how bad things get, is in Jesus! There are some who have NO hope, so they think! I want to show them who their hope is!
Just for a fun end of the story...later in the day, after helping our neighbors, they came over and offered us a token of their thanks. An adorable...Puppy!
No, I don't want one! We just got rid of one and trying to get rid of another dog. How do you say "no"? They have no money but they thanked us with something they could make money from!! The look in her eyes was so intense and she said, "My husband wants to thank you for all you have done for us so he wants to give you our last puppy for free!" I respectfully told her I would have to ask my husband but we probably would not be able to keep him! I felt like a heel! I think I will let my husband handle this one! :)