Children born during one's youth are like arrows in a warrior's hand...blessed is the man whose quiver if full of them
Saturday, August 3, 2013
It's been well over a month since I last posted. I have no intention of re-entering the blog world but I realize that there are people who like to know how things are and how we are doing. I have pretty much cut myself off from cyber world. It has been a long time coming and I thought I would hate it and feel I was missing out on something! I guess that "something" turned out to be not so much! I feel a freedom and I am in a place that is good. We are still growing and learning. Times have NOT been easy! A valley one might say. Many valley's at one time actually. A deep, dark place as I have never known before. I have grown up and God has continued to display His great mercy and grace upon me and our family. Things are changing and it has not been pleasurable or easy. I know we still have not "arrived" and we never will until we reach our final destination, Heaven! But the journey is growing us closer to Him and sad to say as my flesh continues to die to itself, I have resisted but my loving Father has gently taken my hand and captured my heart with more truth. I don't have many answers and in fact sometimes I feel my questions are much greater. The things I once knew, I no longer understand and it is pushing me towards a stronger and higher place. Nothing in and of myself but a place of freedom and less pride. A place of grace for others and less demands on myself because God is showing me that HE wants priority in my life above EVERYTHING! I have fought it! It has been eye-opening to say the least but He has kept me and continues to stretch me into those closed places where I built walls. I am being vulnerable and it is not an easy task! I fight it and resist it but in the struggle, I am finding peace because my guard is down and my walls have crumbled. Scary? Yes! I have desired for years and years more of Him and less of me and so now, his favor of chastising continues to pour out. Not the way I thought or wanted, but HIS way! As I let go of the former and cling to the present, I will continue to cling to all I have ever known....my Jesus loves me and He is fighting for me and will not rest until I have given all of myself to Him. Quite a place to be!