Tuesday, May 26, 2009

Needless Pain We Bear

Okay, It has been awhile. Really no excuse just had life and the business of it all creep in and decided something had to give for awhile so blogging was one of those things. There are also times I just can't imagine that anyone really cares what I have to say! :) Here I am, not any less busy in fact maybe more so, but taking the time to share my life again with those who read this.

Have you ever had a week where you cannot believe how many little things can happen and you lay down at night and wonder how or why it has not bothered you as much as it should or it has not even bothered you at all? This past week has been one of those times. I am now sitting back and thinking of all the things that have happened and I really feel "untainted" and untouched. So today, I have asked my self, why? The only answer I can give is the love and holding of my Heavenly Father.
What have these things been you might ask, okay maybe not, but here are some examples. I am 35 weeks pregnant and should be uncomfortable and miserable. I have even tried to force myself to find something to complain about, but have come up with nothing. Am I ready to have a baby, absolutely! Am I anxious to hold this little one? Absolutely! But have I been able to see the joy of helping God with this little miracle instead of finding the negative of the last month? Yes. If you know me, not a common way for me to be. I am not the most patient person in the universe especially when it comes to holding babies! Do my hips ache? Yes! Do I have to go to the bathroom every hour on the hour? YES! Do I have an appetite or do I feel like I want to throw up every time I think of food? I can't even fathom eating an entire meal with out puking! But, through all of that, I am thankful not unhappy. Maybe after the 11th child I am finally to the point of wisdom...although getting up 4 times a night to go the bathroom, at least I CAN go back to sleep! In a short time, sleep will come as a luxury, for awhile anyway! The next thing that happened to me this week was I took 2 of my girls to their music lesson in the same day and found out that NEITHER of them were having a lesson that day! One is in town and the other I drove 30 minutes away! I laughed! Not upset, not even one bit annoyed! I laughed! I know, I know, you are probably thinking why would that bother her? Well, I guess it is because I am very scheduled and using 2 hours away from home that could have been used for something more useful than sitting in a car when I hate driving in the first place, is one of those things that can rub me the wrong way at times! I actually loved having the 2 hours alone with my girls and we had a really good time! Now on to other things. Our car is in great need of new tires. Money, in great need also. We have 2 times in the coming week that my husband or I need to travel. Do I worry? Usually. But not this time. I have realized I am in God's hands and He knows our needs. I did not even look to my husband to "fix" the problem. I know he would if he could! So, I put no pressure on him to get it fixed! I am trusting in my heavenly Father! Through Him, it may be possible to go a thousand more miles when someone else tells us not to go another mile! On to the next dilemma. Last night my husband went to tuck the kids in and came upstairs to inform me that our washing machine is "toast"! Not a great thing in a household that has 4 loads of laundry a day! Missing one day could mean a pile of clothes that the kids could sled down! I said to him, "Well, we will look into it tomorrow." I did not even worry and I slept the whole night without even a care of it! (Well, except for the bathroom trips!) Now, remember, we cannot afford at this point to get new tires for our car, so a new washing machine is not even a thought! Do I wonder what we will do when we have to build a sky lift in a couple days to cross over the mountains of laundry? Yes, it has entered my mind. Do I know that this problem is bigger than me and now matter how much I fret, I have no answer? Yes.

The whole point to this little blog today is not to put myself on this great faith pedestal! Believe me, I lack faith so often and more times than not I try to figure things out BEFORE going to God. So I am dumb-founded at my calm heart and fullness of faith! All I know is for some reason, I have chosen to allow God to work in my situations this week instead of ME trying to write out a plan! I think I am to the point of realizing that without Him, I can do nothing anyway and even if I did, my plan would lack all things compared to the plans God has for me. So, here I sit with my hands in the air in total surrender to Him. Exactly where He wants me to be all the time. If only I would chose that path ALL the time! It reminds me of a hymn I know and love. "Oh what needless pain I bear! All because I do not carry everything to God in prayer!" Let Him carry your burdens today and thank Him for the answers He does have even if it is not in YOUR timing!


Annika said...

Love your spirit my friend. Thanks for always being just a phone call away when I have a silly question :)

Robin said...

Amen!!! What a wonderful post, thanks for sharing. We worry needlessly so often. Have a wonderful week and email on the way:)


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