Monday, January 3, 2011

What will this year hold for us?

Last year was one of many changes.  I am sure this one will be also.  We have continued to lay all that we have at Jesus feet and my "goal" this year will be to do the same.  I am reading on my Nook-color, that I received for Christmas, (yes, way too cool and I am bragging just a touch!), a book by Oswald Chambers.  It is one of the most life changing books I have read with the exception of the bible.  It is about prayer and I realize I may have been looking at prayer in a way that may be hindering my relationship with my creator. 

Chambers states this:
"Prayer nourishes the life of God.  Our Lord nourished the life of God in Him by prayer.  He was continually in contact with His Father.  WE generally look upon prayer as a means of getting things for ourselves, but the biblical idea of prayer is that God's holiness, purpose, and wise order may be brought about.  Our ordinary views of prayer are not found in the new Testament."

I don't know how many times I go to God in distress without reasoning.  I have just cried out to Him.  Which is not all bad.  However, the purpose of prayer is to reveal the presence of God, equally present at all times and in every condition.  So, I should understand that whether times are really tough, or going pretty well, God is there just the same and my need for Him is no different! 

With that being said, I have been really been re-evaluating my idea of what I want for my life attempting to lay the hour, day, month, and year before Him and resting in knowing that He has gone before me and will guide me.  I am a control "freak" by nature so this is not easy!  From having a clean house to allowing my children to make mistakes and learn from them are things that I battle daily sometimes hourly!  It has been a process of listening and obeying that I have not mastered yet!  I can listen pretty well and even obey, but usually it is in my time!  I also worry and fret WAY more than I should.  And that is an understatement! 

Chambers also quotes: "...prayer  deals with the nourishment of life.  It is nourished by refusing to worry over anything, for worry means there is something over which we cannot have our own way, and in reality is personal irritation with God.  Jesus Christ says, "Don't worry about your life.  Don't fear them which kill the body.  Be afraid only of not doing what the Spirit of God indicates to you."

With this, I have no choice but to quit trying to control things that I am not to take on anyway!  Let go and let God know I am not irritated with Him and I DO trust Him!  (That even means trusting Him knowing my daughter my be going this summer to AFRICA on a mission trip!)  Even my most valued thing on earth, my beautiful children!  My biggest fear in life is they will not choose to follow Christ and also fearing that one of them will physically die!  I literally have built my life at times, around those two fears!  I can't control either if them!  Wow, how much internal struggle I could have and will prevent when I let go of that! 

To get back to what our year will hold...I have no clue!  EXCEPT, I am going to let God take over and rest knowing that He will sustain me no matter what!  Oh, to trust Him more and give up MY plan and control to the giver and author of MY life!  No New Year resolution, just a decision to give up and turn over to Him what was never supposed to be mine anyway! 

I am excited to see what God is going to do in 2011 and I will welcome (okay, with much prayer), whatever it is knowing my need for Him is no different this year than it was last year!  I hope you will come along with me and watch as I enjoy the ride!



Shelly said...

Welcome back, Heather! I enjoyed those quotes, and your honesty about your fears/control issues.

Robin said...

Hope 2011 is a wonderful year for you and your family, Heather!!!


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