Children born during one's youth are like arrows in a warrior's hand...blessed is the man whose quiver if full of them
Monday, March 21, 2011
There are many things I read and sometimes I feel plain guilty because it seems like everyone else has it all together. Everyone except me that is! Do you ever feel like that? How can everyone else have spotless homes, every meal full of nutrition, planned school activities daily with LOADS of stimulation for all ages, schedules planned out to a tee and followed flawlessly... need I say more? It can make me feel quite inadequate at times, to say the least! Now, I know that nobody is perfect and everyone has things they exel at and things they struggle with but why at times, do I feel like I am the only on who has kids who argue, dust bunnies under my fridge (well, probably WAY more than dust bunnies), days where I just am plain tired and don't feel like teaching, let alone taking my kids on an "educational" field trip! It may be just my last trimester pregnancy mode I am in and am just weary, but boy has it been hard on me feeling how "perfect" everybody else's life is or appears to be!
I thought I would share a touch of truth with you and some things I battle. Not always, just here and there and somehow it helps to let it all out. I'm funny like that you know!
~ I love nutritious meals and for the most part, we have them. But...sometimes they have boxed cereal, candy, diet pop and fast food ~ I vacuum at least once a day and have to have clean floors to function properly But...there are days, I really don't care if food particles, dirt or unidentified "crumbs" have escaped beyond the kitchen and dining room ~ I try to clean under our appliances once a month But...sometimes I forget until I notice sticky, gross things laying under them while searching for an escaped fast moving hot wheel ~ I despise yelling and HATE talking above a normal speaking range to my children But...I lay in bed some nights, feeling guilty at the times I lost my patience and my children suffered ~ I fold MANY loads of laundry a day But...it is really hard for me to find the time to put them away and before I know it, there can be 3-4 laundry baskets full of folded clothes waiting in the hall for me ~ I do not like TV for my kids But...I have been known to stick movies, (especially lately), in the DVD player to keep them entertained for awhile ~ I love to get up early and spend time with God But...lately I have given in to my flesh and slept longer and spent less time with Him ~ I desire to be submissive to my husband and have a meek and gentle spirit But...boy do I battle that sometimes and realize how quick my tongue reacts ~ I use cloth diapers and love it But...sometimes I get lazy and revert back to disposables for a few days ~ I LOVE having boys and they bring me soooo much joy But...wow, is it hard to understand their activity level and competitiveness at times! ~ I know God is going to provide for us and always has and I DO trust Him But...I battle sometimes with worrying when my hubby will get a job and what the coming months will hold ~ I feel this baby move inside of me all time But...I still worry everyday that something might happen to her ~ I am so thankful for my older children who have chipped in so much helping me in this last trimester But...I can't wait until I can feel myself again and serve them! ~ I realize everyday how imperfect I am But...I have a savior who lifts me up and loves me no matter how many times I fail!
For that, I am truly grateful!
Any "truth" you want to share would be welcomed! Sometimes it's just nice to know you are not alone!