Do you hear what I hear?

Sometimes I am AMAZED at the things I hear during the day!  Sentences that stun me, surprise me, mortify me and most of the time make me laugh!  I know, all mother's can say that and that comforts me!  Because if my kids were the only ones that think and do things as children do, I might crawl in a hole and never come out.  (Or at least never let my family leave the confines of our own four walls!)  I thought I would share some things my ears heard or some things that happened over the holidays and make you giggle or gross you out!  Can't predict how they will effect you!

~ "OKAY guys, QUIT running the remote control car through the cookie dough!"
~ My 16 year old informed me one morning that she woke up to a bare hieny staring at her and her 3 year old brother saying, "Wipe me PEEEASSSEEE!"  (She could not push the snooze button after that alarm!)
~ My 8 year old says to his uncle, "Well, I guess I liked the paintable birdhouse, but I REALLY wanted lego's for Christmas!" (I TRY to teach my children to be thankful! UGH!)
~ "Mom, the Christmas tree fell towards the wall and is crooked now!"
~ After my 8 year old had been complaining of a sudden headache,  2 hours later, my 10 year old informed us that while they were playing football outside, that possibly after his brother hit his head on the side walk, he MAY have fallen over after he got up and laid on the ground for a while.  But the 10 year old was sure his brother was faking it! Needless to say, the 8 year old had a major concussion!
~ "Oh no mom!  The tennis racked went through the french door window!"
~ I walked into our kitchen one night after all the kids went to bed and literally about broke my neck from slipping on my kitchen floor COVERED in the tiny cookie sprinkles.  I am STILL finding them a week later!
~ "I think I ate so much at Grandma's, I might have to stay in bed in the morning!"
~ About 2 hours after opening Christmas presents,  9 year old says, "I'm bored!"
~ "But mommy, I can't seep tonight!  I have WAAAYYYY to many pesants to open tomorrow!"
~ I'm not an angry person, but one more twisty tie to undo, and I may have to throw something!
~ "Why do we have to change the year mom, I like the old one!"
~ "Mommy, why do people believe in Santa?  He is just not real!  Well, he may be nice, but he lies to everyone!"
~ If I have to watch one more football game, I may have to throw something else!  (In a house FULL of boys, that is something I guess I better just start enjoying!) 
~ On New Year's Day, My husband said, "Honey, I am taking the kids to the park!"  (They did not even need coats!)
~ "How many days until Christmas?"  (That was yesterday!)
~The neighbors witnessed me tossing the Christmas tree off the porch at 4pm on Christmas Day!  (I love Christmas but when it's over, I like it to be over!)

There were MANY more, but  these were some of the classics!  Share some of your favorite things you heard come from your children's mouths!  I would love to laugh at somebody else's children!  You know, for the feeling of motherhood kinship! :)