Although nobody has dared to say it to may face after my recent miscarriage, I know it has been thought by many or even talked about between others, "Doesn't she know that her body has been through enough and this is a sign! Why does she keep doing this to herself, it is catching up with her?!! You can't have that many children and not have SOMETHING happen!"
I am used to it by now and does it still bother me? I can honestly say, no! About 13 years ago, my husband and I were convicted to not use birth control. Understand that it took time to get to the point where we totally surrendered that conviction!
(Proverbs 21:3~ to obey is better than sacrifice) At the time, we knew to obey and if we did not, to us it would be a sin, so we did obey but it was not easy at first! The converstions between my husband and I would have questions like these: "We could have 20 children!" or, "How can we afford more than we have?" or, "What will other people say?" Now, those questions NEVER enter my mind! I only have answers! Could I have 20 children? Yep! And I would welcome that! They are truly a blessing! Although money is not flowing out of our bank account, and yes, we have times where we wonder how we are going to make it to payday! But, God has ALWAYS provided! We can't afford a huge beautiful home and 3 brand new cars and take a vacation every year, but we CAN afford more children! How? Depending on God and not our bank account! Unless you have been there, I cannot describe how incredible it is watching God provide with an unexpected gift of money, clothing, bikes, furniture, and cars instead of us buying it for ourselves! We don't depend on others and NEVER ask for handouts, they truly just come from God to us! (WE do understand that He works THROUGH people and we are so grateful for those who has listened and obeyed Him!) He has given us things that I could not have done working away from home and my husband being away from his family with some high paying job! And as far as what other people say? Well, I guess I have learned that you cannot please everyone all the time and no matter what you do, somebody will always criticize it! AND if everyone is pleased with how you live and you fit in with everyone else, BEWARE! You cannot please man AND God!
Romans 8:8~ So then, those who are in the flesh cannot please God.
In fact, we have found that when we are not recieving any negative feedback from those who are "in the world", we are usually walking a thin line between worldliness and Godliness and have had to check our spirits! The bible says we are to be a "peculiar people" and these days, you don't get much more peculiar than allowing God to pick your family size! (There are other things that God asks from people that can be just as peculiar, this just happens to be
one of the faith walks God has choosen for us!)
As far as it being too hard on my body? One thing I can say is, birth control has many more side affects that pregnancy EVER will! Here is a link to read,
I Think I'll Skip the Party . Another thing, pregnancy and childbirth actually
lowers your rate for women's cancers:
read here, and
here! I can also let you know, it keeps you feeling young! (So at the rate I am going, I should live to be about 200!) God has given women's bodies the ability to carry many children if He chooses, and it is Him alone that supplies our needs physically and emotionally! This last miscarriage was very hard emotionally, but not any tougher than anybody else going through one! The doctor said, that my health is great and there is no greater risk for another pregnancy than there was before! And yes, I am anxiously waiting for the day when God decides to bless us again, if He chooses! (That also means being content if He chooses NOT to give us another child!) That is actually scarier for me than having many more! I love the blessing a child brings and I desire His plan for us!
*Just a side note, when I hear the comment, "How do you do it with all those kids, I can't handle the 2 that I have!" I could not do it without God! (And sometimes I have had the thought, I could not do it with the two that you have either! :) ) The point I am making, is my husband and I are not doing this alone! We are dependant on God for everything! That is where he wants us to be anyway! I have no choice but to get on my knees many times daily! Praying for 11 children and their daddy, takes lots of burning the midnight oil!
I know when and if I announce another pregnacy, (and I hope that I have the chance to do that), there will be people who will have their negative opinions. I am okay with that! When you know that what you live is for the Lord, it does not matter what others think! I want to go to bed every night, knowing that I am doing the best that I can living for God! he never said it would be easy, but He does say He will be there to give me what I need! He will never let me down and He will never let me go!
I am not a person that likes to cause others to protest what I believe! I live my life for Christ and that is who I follow! If other's don't like my choices, it does not really matter, I am much more fearful of God than man! "As for me and my house, WE will serve the Lord! " Please don't waste your time with negative feedback! I have already heard it all! :) If you need encouragement for something you are doing for Christ, that goes against what others think is "good" for you, I can relate! Feel free to contact me! I would love to encourage you! Remember, it will all be worth it someday!
